My wife and I have been married two years. Lately she has a friend (female) she works with. Any time the friend wants to do anything she immediately goes out with her. An example, I will ask her to go to a certain resturant and she will say no. If her friend calls five minutes later, she wants to go. She wanted to go with her friend on a girls "only" trip to Cancun. I told her I didn't mind but could she wait until may or june so we could take our family trip in march which is only eight weeks away (we can't afford to do both). A week later she announced she was leaving for Cancun with her friend. I feel like going on vacation with her friend is more important than taking a trip with her family. Should I be angry? I'm sure her and her friend are just friends. Thanks ahead of time for the responses just needed to vent.
I'd be angry if I were you. Have you met the new friend?
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Yes I have. Over all she is OK, but the thing that bothers me, is she has a boyfriend that is married, whom she met at a swingers party! So not the best travelling mate.
Tell your wife to have fun and tell her you're going to Cozamel or Aruba or something while she's gone with some "friends". Then actually go. Start hanging out with others. Eventually she's going to either get tired of it, or tell you what's going on.
I really trust my wife I don't think anything is going on. She has been working 60 hour work weeks. It just ticks me off that she couldn't wait until summer to go. She works with her friend and they only go out once a week for a couple of hours (I'm always invited).
Originally posted by dice974
I really trust my wife I don't think anything is going on. She has been working 60 hour work weeks. It just ticks me off that she couldn't wait until summer to go. She works with her friend and they only go out once a week for a couple of hours (I'm always invited).
I don't think you should be angry, dice974....
Going out with her friend once a week for a couple of hours is NOT excessive.
And if your wife has been working 60 hour work weeks, I'm betting that she feels she needs a break very soon...and remember summer is rainy season in Mexico - maybe she wants to avoid that.
Seriously, your wife's lack of interest in doing things with you and enthusiasm for doing things with her "swinger" girlfriend indicates that she is not being faithful to you.
I take it that you have to realize that she and that friend are not into the scuba diving opportunities of this tropical vacation? they are likely crusing for male companionship or they are sweet on each other.
Stop being a chump! Show some spine and confront her.
If she wants to take off for mexico without you and you two cannot afford a vacation together, then that is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I am sorry you have this situation. One thing though. Please be honest with yourself. You do not trust her. You want to trust her, but the evidence before you screams at you to not trust her--for cause!
Sorry, dice, I agree. She is putting this person before the family and no one should come before the family as a whole. If she is inviting you to come along with her friend on their nights out, I would take her up on it a few times, better yet, are you two still going out alone together? The grass may be looking greener on her single friend's side of the fence....make sure you two are still connecting in a fun way.
Talk talk talk to her. Express how you really feel in a caring way so she doesn't feel like you are just trying to control her or are jealous of her new friend. Take care.
When I say she goes out with her friend, she stops at a restaurant\bar that is a block from the house after work for about a hour once a week so it's not like she's out till midnight. She always calls and says they are stoping for a drink and dinner and I'm always invited. Her friend claims she doesn't swing anymore she did before she got divorced and that was one of the reasons for the divorce. It just ticks me off that she put going with her friend before going on vacation with me and her son. She has been gone for three days and she hasn't even called.
He is my stepson. I just took him up to see his grandpa and we snowmobiled for two days. Like I said I trust her it's not like she ever goes out for four or five hours. She will go out for dinner and a drink once a week (for about 1 - 2 hours). Her grilfriends boyfriend is usually invited so 70% of the time I am there at dinner with everyone. It just kind of ticks me off that she put the friend before family and then doesn't even call. I don't think her cell phone would work in Mexico.
well having a quickie doesnt take a whole bunch of hours...anyhow.... why dont you ask her up front whats going on? sounds to me from what YOU have said that her and her girlfriend have a little mutual mambo going on.i mean c'mon-she already left for a vacation and dumped her own son on you...shows she trusts you, but are you being too much of Mr.Mom,and not enough of The Rock ? and whats up with she doesnt even consider a family vacation?sounds to me like deeper problems than just her needing a break from you...you should really approach her about it and see if there are underlying problems/interests you two can work out.Or if she'd rather work them out with her friend.
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welll...
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