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Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 22nd January 2005, 5:47 PM   #1
backatone
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 27
Been 3 weeks.....

Well, its been 3 weeks since she wanted the "time-out" and about 2 weeks since I ran into her last. She emailed me once and I replied. But since the time-out talk, I have had ZERO contact with her. I actually did not think that it would go 3 weeks without her calling me. Crazy. I have this weird feeling. Its almost like she is never coming back.

I was out last night with my buddies and the women were just plentiful. All over the place. Then I got to thinking...all of these attractive girls and I could see myself with about half of them. I find it rather easy to get another girl except.......I question whether or not I really LOVED the ex if I can just start dating other girls. Its almost like, maybe it was lust instead of love if I can move on this fast? Did I kid myself into thinking I was in love? Dated about 15 months total. Im 24 she is 25.

I feel alienated by the ex. Its like she actually had me convienced that she needed this break to figure her life out since she seemed to think it was in such a rutt. That being the case, how can she go so long without contacting me? I feel like I would still like to give it another shot with her, but she is showing me nothing. And in turn, that makes me want to persue other girls.

I read on here so much that the ex's are contacting like once a week etc... But I get nothing from her. I think it is better for my healing. But part of me thinks that she is not the one because she cant even call or email in 3 weeks. It was not a bad break up or anything. I dont think she is waiting for me to contact her, but she could be. I just cant do it.

Any advice?
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Old 22nd January 2005, 6:16 PM   #2
strange love
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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3 weeks.. try 3 months

Hi

Give it a bit longer. I went for 3 months, without contact. She came back around.. a bit angry but she is talking to me.

And another time it was about 6 weeks I think, and then she called me lots and lots..so just give it a few and check out the other chicks in the meantime or busy yourself with something else..
for me Im busy fixing up my shop and living space.. It helps keep my mind of her.

ciao

strange love
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Old 22nd January 2005, 6:28 PM   #3
upsetnhurt
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Location: Northern Virginia
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The time between calls is the killer. The reality is that I think we are putting way much more thought into them as they are to us. I sometimes think that maybe I should make that initial call yet my pride keeps on getting in the way. We did not ask for the break and can't be the one to beg them back. It will never work out if that is the case. Assume she's gone for good and go after those other gals. You are lucky in that you have an outlet with your buddies. I was stupid enough to concentrate so much on my gal that I lost touch quite a bit with them thus am spending lots of alone time constantly thinking of her. It makes one go crazey!
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Old 22nd January 2005, 6:34 PM   #4
backatone
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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I do know that it is best to just presume they are never coming back. And with her its weird, I am not sure that she could ever be the person that I "think I fell in love with". So why part of me thinks it will never work again, part of my wants to see if she can get her life back in order and be that girl.

Another weird thing is that I have things of hers that she NEEDS/WANTS and vice versa. But yet no one is calling to get either of them back. That is what I find to be weirdest.
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Old 22nd January 2005, 7:19 PM   #5
strange love
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if you have stuff of hers she will call you eventually.
That in itself is a way of keeping someone around. Dont fret
My ex absconded with some pretty valuable stuff of mine, I can see now part of that is to hold on to me.

just chill out and find something else to do

ciao
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Old 22nd January 2005, 8:40 PM   #6
littlelaxer
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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hey........u seemed to be doing well with the no contact. keep it up!! About other people id say go out and meet new girls no need to sit around wondering what shes doing all the time, it also helps to pass the time and keep ur mind busy meeting and hangin out wiht new people. I promise u that if u keep this up ur ex will call. Dont call her about her stuff either, just keep it until she asks for it.

It is scary about thinkin if u could still be with this same person again because just during these breaks people can change very fast, im sure even u have changed.

i went a good bit of time without hearing from my ex and now hes doing some pretty crazy stuff that i just cant understand!! Actually right after the break up we didnt talk for a little over a month or so...............but im tellin ya if u treated her right and it was a good relationship she will call ya up, i dont know if it will be about the relationship but i knwo she didnt forget about u so she will be callin
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