Hey there....1rst time here and thought I'd bounce a little story off you. Please, let me know what you think.
She left..plain and simple. It's happened to everyone out there (even me when I was younger), and we should all chalk it up as experience and move one. For some reason though, even though its been 7 months since the breakup I can't seem to follow my own advice.
We were together for about 3 years (I'm 27, she's 24). I was her first boyfriend, and, well, first everything really. At the beginning of year 3, she left town for school. It was a one year program. She visited very often, and when she did, we would go shopping around for a place to live (she was going to come back to work full time after school). She couldn't of been happier when we finally found a place. She wrote me many, many times saying she couldn't wait to come back where her home was, with me (these were her exact words). However, the day we started moving things into our new place, I noticed something was different about her. I asked her about it, and she said it was only stress. This went on for a couple months, when finally in June, she told me she was no longer in love with me.
Like everyone else, this blew me away and left me utterly devasted. I didn't beg..and I didn't harass her. What I did do though, was constantly remind her that I wasn't angry with her. In the 2 months after she dumped me, I wrote her twice (never once called). Light emails really, just letting her know how I was doing and stressing the fact that there was no reason why we couldn't be friends in the future. But, in that time, she never wrote or called. Not a single word from her. It was almost as though our 3 year relationship was a weekend fling. And even though xmas past, and my b-day is quickly approaching, I'm betting I will still not hear from her. What is going on with this person? Why was she able to shut me out of her life so quickly? To this day, I still think of her, but most importantly why she could simply tell me why she was doing this? Is it her age? The fact that she's never been in a relationship before?
Is there anyone out there who can justify this behaviour? I'm really starting to wonder if this person even deserves my friendship.
Why was she able to shut me out of her life so quickly?
maybe it started well before you realized it- for her, it was a process of a few months or maybe longer, but you didn't realize it so by the time she left, she had been thinking about it for a long time, but you just found out.
If you are her first relationship it may be that she wants to date others. It may hurt now, but trust me, if you live in the west, you want to end up with a female who has had other boyfriends because otherwise, the urge is EXTREMELY likely to be there some day.
if it bothers you, maybe you should give her a call. it's confusing. why why why. seems like you've taken it very well but i think it's been long enough where she can explain things. don't know what you want out of it so i hope this could help you move on if you have to. good luck.
It is not at all confusing. From most of the posts I have read here and based on my own experiences, no one should feel that they found the life partner before the age of 30. In this complex age of money, fast times, fast lives and plenty options, ppl are unable to decide and plan life because the maturity is not there.
So, in your case, she's 24, she's probably thinking there's a whole lot of world out there to see (perhaps already she's hitched with another person) and doesn't want ot be tied down.
You my friend, at 27, you should meet different already be contemplating what you want in a life partner and then be on the lookout. FOrget the infatution of puppy love etc. Because as we get older, it is harder to get over pain and lost love. It is like a physical cut, when you are young, injuries heal faster but when you are old, injuries take longer to heal.
My relationship ended recently and I am one year shy of 30. I am dying here but at the same time, it open my eyes as to how to evaluate a life partner. This girl of yours, like my ex, will now be a statistic in your life. Sad to say but true. Take whatever lessons you have learnt and move on. Don't wait for her, you are charged with leading your own life - I had a family member drummed this into me the other day and you know what, it is true!
__________________
Life is a TRAGEDY to those who feel, and a COMEDY to those who think.
Loving someone gives us strength and being loved gives us courage. ~Lao Tzu
Your situation appears to be unique in my reading of loveshack. A majority of the people are here because the pain of the relationship ending and how it ended was hard for them to move on from or let go.
There doesn't seem to have been a substantical breakup reason like fundamental differences, another person, etc... rather in the distance or time, you grew apart.
You didn't do any of the things that plague most people after relationships end.
Since your ex hasn't replied to you via email and that is *only* media you have communicated with her since the breakup, I'd say give her a call. Unless, you have heard about her thru mutual connections. It's possible it might be something as simple as her email has changed.
On the flip side, there may have been someone else and she feels guilty about it.
Really, there's no way to know from the limited contact that appears to have happened after the breakup.
Good luck!
Quote:
Originally posted by hmm...
Hey there....1rst time here and thought I'd bounce a little story off you. Please, let me know what you think.
She left..plain and simple. It's happened to everyone out there (even me when I was younger), and we should all chalk it up as experience and move one. For some reason though, even though its been 7 months since the breakup I can't seem to follow my own advice.
We were together for about 3 years (I'm 27, she's 24). I was her first boyfriend, and, well, first everything really. At the beginning of year 3, she left town for school. It was a one year program. She visited very often, and when she did, we would go shopping around for a place to live (she was going to come back to work full time after school). She couldn't of been happier when we finally found a place. She wrote me many, many times saying she couldn't wait to come back where her home was, with me (these were her exact words). However, the day we started moving things into our new place, I noticed something was different about her. I asked her about it, and she said it was only stress. This went on for a couple months, when finally in June, she told me she was no longer in love with me.
Like everyone else, this blew me away and left me utterly devasted. I didn't beg..and I didn't harass her. What I did do though, was constantly remind her that I wasn't angry with her. In the 2 months after she dumped me, I wrote her twice (never once called). Light emails really, just letting her know how I was doing and stressing the fact that there was no reason why we couldn't be friends in the future. But, in that time, she never wrote or called. Not a single word from her. It was almost as though our 3 year relationship was a weekend fling. And even though xmas past, and my b-day is quickly approaching, I'm betting I will still not hear from her. What is going on with this person? Why was she able to shut me out of her life so quickly? To this day, I still think of her, but most importantly why she could simply tell me why she was doing this? Is it her age? The fact that she's never been in a relationship before?
Is there anyone out there who can justify this behaviour? I'm really starting to wonder if this person even deserves my friendship.
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