[justmeincctx]

I am 40 and been divorced for a couple of years I met a waitress and I have been dating her for about 8 months we moved in together and since she has changed alot.

She wants to know what Im doing where Im at when I am going to be home. I am self employed and I am a very honest man. I have never thought of being unfaithful but I really am feeling suffocated.

Also there is a ? of drugs I dont drink but I do like to smoke wee from time to time as it relaxes me she used to do cocaine and when we started dating I told her it could not be in my life as I was a Meth user 20 years ago and have been clean for 20 years.

She tells me a drug is a drug and I cant buy that I have always smoked pot. I make a very good living and pay the bills I told her if a drug is a drug how would you feel if your 17 year old was to try cocaine.

I also have issues of her wanting to get married she has been married 4 times I feel like I would be a statistic as I have only been married 1 and also I am just 2 years out of a 19 year marriage please help.

[quankanne]

sounds like she's already entrenched in the "settle-down, gonna change him for the better" mentality, and you're nowhere near that stage

you need to sit her down and honestly discuss where your relationship is headed, and you need to be honest with her: if you care about her, but have reservations about getting back into a marriage-bound relationship so soon after going through the break up of your marriage, then let her know, but be kind about it. it's not unusual to want to shy away from getting into that degree of committed relationship, even after you've been divorced two years.

you also need to discuss with her how you view marriage. my guess is that since you'd been married for so long, you see it as a lifelong commitment with one person, possibly as second person if it comes to that; you don't take it lightly. it sounds as if she sees it as more of a boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship that can be dissolved if something doesn't work out right ...

good luck with the talk, man.

quank,
who envies you being in corpus!