[startingover1028]

It's been a little over two months now since my MM ended our affair. (I've gotten all the flak, from this forum, for being involved in that - so no need for anymore moral lectures, thanks!)

When it first ended, I tried the whole NC thing and just couldn't do it. I caved after a week. He seemed very happy to hear from me and we started communicating again. Long story short... we have been e-mailing each other everyday (just your basic, "Hi, how are ya" notes) for the past 2 months... and of course I held on to some hope that our relationship would continue/pick-up where it left off... It has not ...and lately I sense that he is becoming even more and more distant.

I see him fairly often as our lives are unfortunately tangled together for reasons I won't go into here. I saw him New Year's Eve and there was a fair amount of flirting between us. I could sense the "spark" was still there... my therapist seems to think he is struggling with his ambivalence toward me.
Whatever it is - it is just hurting me - over and over. I'm on such an emotional roller coaster. I have to stop this or I will go insane.

I want to close my e-mail account and walk away but I wonder if I should say something to him first. I have written several long-winded notes (not sent any) explaining my feelings and none of them sound quite right.
I don't know why, but I feel the need to let him know just how much this has hurt me.... but then I ask myself... What good would that do? At other times I want to tell him just how much I still want him... How pitiful is that?

It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I am ready to finally end this once and for all. Do I just shut down the e-mail account and let him figure it out or do I go to the trouble of writing him an explanation beforehand? This should be simple.... why am I making it so difficult?

[hooghie]

it seems that your MM has made his decision and it's his wife, not you. I know that must hurt, but even if you email him/go back with him, this will happen again and you will feel even more pain.

If you need closure. Email him one last time, but do not suggest seeing him. as a matter of fact, try and avoid him so you can heal.

You need to move on from this and find someone who is willing to give you 100%. He is not that man. Try a dating service or activities that will keep you busy and not constantly thinking about him.

good luck.

[Sweetz]

Originally posted by startingover1028

It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I am ready to finally end this once and for all. Do I just shut down the e-mail account and let him figure it out or do I go to the trouble of writing him an explanation beforehand? This should be simple.... why am I making it so difficult?

The same reason you still probably have his phone number programmed into your cell phone. Because you are holding onto false hope in hopes that something will spark up again. If he really wanted you, he knows where you are. He is giving you every clue in the book that he doesn't make you a priority.

Shut down the email account. If he needs to find you, I am sure he will know how to contact you. He's just playing games with you right now and you are falling for it. I don't think yolu need to write him an explanation of things. He's married, got involved with another woman, but stayed with his wife, so it's easy for him to figure out why you would end things to him.

Good luck.

[whichwayisup]

Keep on pouring out your heart in letters to him...Just DO NOT SEND THEM. Do not even put email addy in them. After you do this afew hundred times, you will feel the weight lift from your shoulders. Do not contact him at all.

The key here you are holding the power. Let your silence be the key. You have closure because it came from YOU. In your heart. Soon enough something in you will just change, and then it will just happen. A different feeling. Yes, you may still hurt but it won't be the same kind of hurt.

Think of him as a bad habit...Takes 30 days to gain a habit and 30 days to lose a habit.

Keep busy, go out with friends, do things you enjoy too! Movies, concerts, shoot some pool, swim, just keep an active lifestyle. Eventually your mind will not think of him and you will realize, HEY I'm OK now!! And then you'll smile. Inside and out.

All the best!!!

[alphamale]

why not tell his wife what was going on

then she will leave him and you can have him...

oh, i forgot, once he becomes available you will lose interest in him.

bad idea, forget it.

[startingover1028]

why not tell his wife what was going on

then she will leave him and you can have him...

oh, i forgot, once he becomes available you will lose interest in him.

WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.....

[StillHurtin]

I am sorry you are going through the pain. I don't agree w/ the A, but I understand your hurt and frustrations. When my H had an A and was going to break it off he had not done it when he came back to me. I kind of felt like he was crawling back to me and if I said no, he was going to stay w/ her. I don't know if he would of remained w/ her for very long. Anyhow, I was upset he didn't bother ending it w/ her b4 he came crawling back to me. He couldn't of done the NC thing b/c he worked w/ her. He had to talk to her every day. I am sure he could of just stopped personal relationships w/ her. I was basically the one that told him he needs to call or talk to her and tell her it's over and he wanted to get back w/ me. So, if you feel you owe him reasons for breaking it off email him or call him and tell him it's over. GL