When's the right time to move out from Parent's house?
So I'm currently 19 and in 2 months I'll be 20. I go to college 6 hours away. Next Fall I'll be living off campus and such and I was just thinking of just staying up there.
It's not that I don't like/love my family - they just get old sometimes. No privacy, people telling you when you can/can't go out, how far you can drive, etc. I never argue with them, I just grow tired of it all. I have no problems supporting myself. I work during school and breaks so nothing changes there.
They of course will disapprove, but if it were up to them I'd never get married nor will I ever move out. Redundancy kills me, and living here is so lonely and vapid. All my friends that I hung out with in HS already live elsewhere or are just like me in the "hanging with parents 24/7."
HEY HUN......IM 19 YEARS OLD TO........I KNOW WHAT UR GOING THROUGH.... I MOVED OUT OF MY MOMS HOUSE WHEN I WAS 16 I HATED IT THERE LIKE SO BAD.........I DIDNT GET ALONG WITH MY MOMS BOYFRIEND AND JUST HOW THINGS WERE I DIDNT LIKE......ME AND MY MOMS BOYFRIEND GET ALONG NOW THAT I DONT LIVE THERE LOL BUT N E WAYZ WELL, I MOVED OUT WHEN I WAS 16 STILL WENT TO SCHOOL WORKED AND LIVED WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME....I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL CAUSE I WASNT ALOUD TO GO TO SCHOOL CAUSE OF THE EX.........TO ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH TROUBLE I HAD LIVING WITH MY MOM I REGRET EVER LEAVING NO MATTER IF U STILL HAVE RULES UR PARENTS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU........ON THE OTHER HAND IM 19 AND I WOULDNT WANT TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO.......MY FRIEND MIKE STILL LIVES AT HOME HES 19 ALMOST 20 HE DRIVES OUTTA STATE FOR COLLEGE EVERY OTHER DAY OF THE WEEK AND HAS A JOB AND HE STILL HAS TO BE IN AT A CERTAIN TIME SO JUST HANG IN THERE TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT HOW HARD YOU WORK AT SCHOOL AND TELL THEM YOUR NOT 16 ANYMORE TELL THEM THEY CAN TRUST YOU AND LET THEM KNOW YOUR NOT GONNA DO N E THING STUPID......BUT TAKE YOUR TIME MOVING OUT IF ITS SOMETHING U CANT AFFORD TO DO AND YOU KNOW U CANT THEN DONT BUT IF U CAN AFFORD TO AND REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD THEN DO SO....I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK ON WHATEVER CHOICE YOU MAKE
JESS
You should move to where you are going to school. I have been living on my own since I was 18 (when I started college). I am now almost 22 and I don't regret moving away from them. Sure, I love my family to bits but there is time when you need to grow up and be your own person.
I lived only 1 hour away so I could have easily stayed at home and commuted. But had I done this, I would have missed out on lots of experiences I have had away from my parents! It taught me a lot about being responsible and independent. I have made so many friendships and had so many experiences that I would have never had if I had stayed with my family.
I still see my family every couple of weekends, but now when I visit I don't feel like I'm really at "home" its more like I'm visiting. Did that make any sense?
My home is here now. I live by myself in my own 2 bedroom apartment and I love it. I don't think my parents take it personally...they understand. Also, since I moved out we all get along a lot better now!
You can never truly grow up until you move away from home. Go out and find yourself and find your identity that is seperate from your parents.
It's very dependant upon situations, but I think kids/'adults' should move out when they are 18. After all, they are an 'adult'. I don't want my kids living with me forever.
__________________
"Well it’s time to go home
And I ain't even done with the night." JcM
I think this is also dependent upon your culture, tiki.
Many white American families feel that kids should "get out" at 18-- but in many Carribean, European and Latin American cultures, children may live in the same household with their parents until they marry. It's not uncommon and the parents do not see it as an imposition.
To the OP, I think this largely depends upon your level of responsibility. To be sure, if you are to move out on your own and have to support yourself, you will need to have a steady income and be able to manage your time and money well.
One thing is for certain-- if you decide to move out, make sure you have an arrangement that can work so that you don't go whining back to parents who didnt want you moving in the first place.
I just graduated from college and moved back home with the parent for the time being.... uggg. I'm outta here march 1st, but to live away for so long and then move back home sucks ass.
I think anyone 18 or over should move out of their parents house when they want to make all decisions about their own life...and not be a dependent child anymore.
If you want to live by your own rules, pay your own way, then it's time.
Your parents may be upset at seeing their "child" leave the nest...but believe me, they will get over it and be proud that you have become a responsible adult.
Oh yeah it really has to do a lot with culture!!!!! My dad kicked me out a few months ago and about a week ago he asked me to move back in because he felt bad that I was not living with him. It's just inserted into our heads that your chiildren are just that, children, until they are married. I wish I could go back to my dad's but I am with my aunt now and still I cannot seem to move out on my own because I am too scared. I am too family oriented to just leave like that. In a few months I will move back in with my dad though and I am already 21. There's no rule that you turn 18 you are an adult now in our house because everyone is different, I might be mature at that age but it does not mean that everyone is you know.
Who is paying for your off campus apartment - frankly determining when you move out is less about your age and more about your ability to support yourself. Having said that - even if your parents are paying for your expenses, if you get a job, or decide to take summer classes - then staying up at school over holidays is an understandable choice.
You haven't really given enough information for anyone to credibly answer this question.
If you can afford it and you want to do it, I say go for it. I wish I could!
I am 19 and I still "live at home" but I too am in college and live on campus. Can't afford to go the do-it-yourself route until I have a degree, and a job, but I live at school year-round with the exception of winter break and a month in the summer.
I don't much like living at home anymore - for all the same reasons you mentioned, and more - but as long as I come home for important events, and every month or so, my parents are happy. Talk it over and have well-defined expectations and it should be fine.
Last edited by bagelgirl; 15th January 2005 at 2:55 AM.
maybe I have a word to tell here... I am 23 and I still live with my parents. But I am from Czech republic - European country, we have slightly different culture.
You look at it like when you are 18 and become an "adult" you should move out and if you dont do so, you are considered as a mamma´s boy or somebody who is not able to take care of himself/herself.
We do look at it a different way - I come from a country that is not based so much on individualism, its more based on traditions and one of the most important thing of a daily life is to gather together with close people. This keep us closer together. My boyfriend is Australian, he is sometimes very judgemental of my country but theres one thing that he admits - that generally in Europe people do have "warmer" relationships with each other especially within family environment.
I can talk to my parents about everything, my father is like my best friend. They are more in touch with their kids and can understand them better.
I am at the university and I dont get so well paid so that I can afford to move from my parents house. Also I have a boyfriend and I sort of spend with him 3 days per week in a row and this situation is the best cos when I have problems at home I go to my boyfriend´s place and if I have a fight with my bf I go to my parent´s place
Young people in my country dont feel preasured that they have to leave their family ASAP and become adult. The trend is that people really leave the family when they find themselves a serious relationship that is leading to marriage.
I mean I would not feel ashamed living with my family at the age of 19 at all. People in Czech generally leave family when they are around 25. I would say that the longer you stay with your family when you are still adolescent the more prepared you can be for future life when it comes to values and believes that you can pass onto your children.
Well, see I moved out not so long ago, when I was 16... Now I'm 17... Keep in mind though the culture you come from.... Here, there is no only 11 grades, not 12, and once you finish 11th grade, you move out the first year. I don't know why our system works this way, but it just does... Anyhow, I don't regret moving out the slightest bit.... I mean, yes, of course I miss my parents, and my brothers, however, I REALLY had to get out, and now was the time.
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