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Needing Some Emotional/Physical Affection..HELP

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Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

Old 2nd January 2005, 2:14 PM   #1
SexiiPinkLadii
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Needing Some Emotional/Physical Affection..HELP

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years on & off...our longest "breakup" was a month in which he moved out of the apt in which we live. He came back in November and things went well for about a month. Now I don't know what to do. I'm so in love with him but he's very emotionally cold to me. I try to initiate sex..he declines. His hugs & kisses come few & far between. I'm lucky to get kissed once a day and that's usually just his goodbye kiss before he goes to work. I'm starting to get depressed. I've tried talking to him and he doesn't see my point and says that he does show me affection. We are supposed to get married on April 2 but I know that I can't live the rest of my life feeling this way. Any advice?
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Old 2nd January 2005, 3:42 PM   #2
LucreziaBorgia
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He is distancing himself emotionally and physically, there's no doubt about it. You'll just need to find out why. It could be most anything, but the usual suspects are:

1. he doesn't want to marry you and is withdrawing from you - he likely feels guilty for this and is projecting the frustration, anger and guilt he has with his situation onto you
2. he intends to go through with the marriage, but he is seeing someone else behind your back
3. he has 'settled in' - meaning, he finds no need to be intimate with you now that you are an established couple

Whatever the case is, getting married under these circumstances is asking for a disaster. You will need to get yourselves into couples (and possibly in his case, individual - depending on what is going on with him personally) counseling to see if you can use the help of an objective third party to get whatever it is out in the open.
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No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.
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Old 2nd January 2005, 3:51 PM   #3
Mr Spock
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For the sake of all that's holy, DO NOT marry him until these things are resolved. April is a long ways away, postpone it now.
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