[katelyn]

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Hey guys,
im new to here and i was wondering if any of you could help me.
yesterday i found out by my friends that the guy i had been seeing for the past year and a half had been cheating on me for the past 6 months. he's slept with some random girl, pulled someone, slept with one of my so called friends and the best bit.....whilst im away at univeristy he is apparently seeing someone i hate with a passion behind my back and im sure hes done more. Now, i've had my suspicions for awhile and confronted him about his flirting with all these girls when im around only a few weeks back. Of course he completly denied that anything was going on with them.

Anyway, i called him yesterday and had a big fat go at him and he finally admitted that he did sleep with some random girl a few months back and pull someone, but hes still denying the other two things, blah blah. So now im really lost, i've never felt this pain and hurt before, i cant believe he blatantly lied to my face for months, even swearing on my bleedin life sometimes. He had the nerve to come up and see me every weekend whilst i was at uni and sleep with me! grrr.

i just need to hear from anyone whos had to deal with the same sort of thing. I've never felt so low in all my life Deep down i want to take revenge or something? but i dont think it would achieve much in the long run.

Finally! even yesterday when i was on the phone to him he kept saying he still loves me to bits and he knows hes ruined everything, but u dont treat someone u love like **** do u? Hes also got it into his head that we r 'meant to be' and thinks we will get back together eventually!!!!! I'm just scared that in a few months if he comes running back im not going to be strong enough to say no to him, i loved him more than anything.

He's not even called or txt me to apologise.

Thanks for reading this and listening to me going on! Now im going back to bed to cry abit more....
katelyn x

[very-confused-girl]

I am so sorry for your situation. But he is engrained cheater. Get out of the relationship ASAP! You deserve better, you deserve somebody who is going to treasure you. You are right, somebody who loves you wouldnt do anything that horrible to you like your bf did.

[Eliza]

Hi Katelyn

I am sorry you are going through this. This is my opinion if it helps at all.

Take care of yourself.

Eliza

Anyway, i called him yesterday and had a big fat go at him and he finally admitted that he did sleep with some random girl a few months back and pull someone, but hes still denying the other two things, blah blah.

It doesn't matter if it was one time or 20 times. Nothing changes the fact he has cheated on you and totally disrespected you and your relationship.

It is one thing to get him to admit cheating, but you are also hearing different versions of the story from friends and him. If he's already admitted to cheating, that says a lot about his character and I'm not sure how much I'd be believing his version of events.

Deep down i want to take revenge or something? but i dont think it would achieve much in the long run.

No, it wouldn't achieve much. You are mad as hell at the moment and want to hurt him in return. But this only brings you to his level. Hold your head high Katelyn and show him you are much more deserving than this treatment.

Finally! even yesterday when i was on the phone to him he kept saying he still loves me to bits and he knows hes ruined everything, but u dont treat someone u love like **** do u? Hes also got it into his head that we r 'meant to be' and thinks we will get back together eventually!!!!! I'm just scared that in a few months if he comes running back im not going to be strong enough to say no to him, i loved him more than anything.

When you say you might eventually get back together in a few months it sounds like you don't have any expectations of him belting down your door for forgiveness? Why are you letting him be in charge of what happens eg get back together eventually?!?! He has the one who cheated and you should be calling the shots! I personally would not be waiting around at all!

Let's say he still really loves you and regrets his actions. Then I ask, if he is so hell-bent on saving your relationship, then where is he right now? He should be right by your side begging for forgiveness.

At the very least, if there is distance between you, there should be lots of phone calls and a date in the very near future when he is coming to try and sort it out! Then it's up to you if you want to try and trust him again.

The fact he has made these comments to you but not backed them up with actions says a fair bit.

Whatever he's done, he's hurt you terribly. You are right - you don't treat someone you love like that.

[katelyn]

Thankyou very much for your comments, i totally agree with everything u have said, the hardest thing now is to try and move on. However, in the last 20mins i found out it was actually a threesome he had...and he pulled the girl hes sposed to be seeing behind my back on new yrs! hes admitted everything. On the fone i could tell he totally didnt give a ****.

Im in a mess.

[summerlove]

Sorry i feel your pain and anger! I hate that guys can be such ***holes (and especially cheaters). At least you got the truth out of your ex. i had to just leave mine because no matter what he never ever would admit the littlest lie. I found numbers and the worst thing i did was take a disposable camera out of his room and developed it. That's when i got the truth. The pictures showed every, every lie, little or big. Those pictures are what keeps me strong and him away. and if he ever tries to come back ill know to just look at those and leave. but i'm really sorry for you cause i know how it feels but yet we just need to believe that the one and only is out there for us!!!

Yep. It really sucks. I think my ex was doing similar stuff. But he doesn't love you. He can't. If he says he loves you he has a twisted idea of love. If you ever got back with him you would constantly be worrying about what he was doing and be living on the edge every time he went out cos that night could be the night he cheats and ruins it all (again). You can't live like that. You deserve better. He is going to keep cheating. And you aren't going to be anywhere near it. Stay away and remember what he's done to you. He's not worth even thinking about. Grr. He makes me mad!!!!!

[katelyn]

Hey again,
Well i said i wasnt going to take revenge but i kinda gave in....Last nite me and my friends decided to put some dead chicken legs under his car windscreen wipers, sounds stupid but it was a fantastic idea at the time. We also managed to get hold of the heart and smeared it all over his windows lol. Ok ur guna think im weird but it made me feel sooo much better. He's still a wanker tho. I hate his guts. I cant wait for the day when im gonna wake up and feel alll fine again :S It has to come soon!!

[GirlDown]

i feel for your situation.

may i ask what "pulling someone" means?

[katelyn]

Certainly....It basically means kissing someone else, like a snog! the full mouthy works!

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by katelyn
Certainly....It basically means kissing someone else, like a snog! the full mouthy works!

ohhhhhhhh okay i see.

wow. i'm really sorry this happened to you. there's no feeling quite like being betrayed. i wish you a happy recovery.


what a jerk he must be.

[malorie]

hello my name is malori (from south carolina) ive been somewhat in a similar situation... i dated a guy for 465 days and i was engaged to marry him i loved him with all of my heart! his drug habit got to extreme for me so i dumped him ( scare him into sobriety) so of course he was wrecked and said hed do anything to get me back then my friend william at school told me a secret he was threatend to keep... he cheated on me! he slept with this really nasty girl while i waited out in the cold night for him at my friends b-day party. i had never felt so low in my life, still even after that we stayed just friends (with all the benefits) and planned on getting back together once things cooled down, but i started to feel really really stupid, i went to a festival and met up with an old friend i kinda looked like i was dating and the ex saw us and flipped and he had no reason relly, out of anger from the harsh words he said i went out with that friend for a month and now ive been dating a guy for 6 months whom i love very dearly... i still think of the ex but when they lie once it will never quit!!! i hope ive helped you in someway enjoy your life you dont need the extra stress of pain!

[Hund1976]

The fact that he cheated on you with multiple people over such a long time frame is a really bad sign. It would be different if he was out blitzed one night and made out with some drunk girl and then felt horrible about it. But he obviously didn't feel too bad if he kept doing it for at least 6 months.
I wouldn't recommend doing anything like messing with his car or anything else illegal, you don't want to wind up in court for something dumb. Just try to move on and meet some new people to take your mind off your ex.

[stephs921]

I dated my recently ex-boyfriend for 2 years, and just last week found out he had cheated on me the entire time. It ends up he had been with 13 different girls, lord knows how many times though.

The excuse i get from his family and friends is that his ex girlfriend cheated on him alot, and he could never trust a girl again. Well im sorry, but i was a perfect girlfriend to him, and i definately do not deserve to suffer his ex girlfriends consequeces.

I know everyone thinks, "you have to be stupid in order to be cheated on with 13 girs", thats true, but i was naive not stupid. He was my first serious relationship, my first love, and i thought he was a great catch. I mean this guy would talk about our future kids and everything.

When he went out without me, he always said he was at his friends house, or wherever, but the excuses worked. I could hear his friends in the background, and never heard girls. He never had starnge numbers in his cell phone, and i was the only girl in the phonebook.

I had heard rumors in high school about a couple of girls, but he assured me they were just rumors. Part of me did nt believe him, but a bigger part wanted to. When i found out about 2 girls, he did not admit to them right away, it took a few hours, but still said the rumors from high school were rumors. The next day a friend told me he had come on to her, and told me about 5 girls she knew he had been with. Again after hours, he admitted to the total 7. He said that was all.

I gave him back every present, shirt, note, letter, gift, every small thing he had ever given to me, because they were all lies. He cried like a baby, and the next night wrote me an email confessing to 13 girls total. (the first being the ex girlfriend who had messed him up so much) All were drunken mistakes, but he covered them up and never came to me with the truth.

He tells me he will change, we are meant for each other, he is sorry, he will do anything for me, for us, everything in the book.

It is hard, only because the guy i though i dated for 2 years, is not who he really is. I lost alot because of him, and i do feel lonely without him, just because i was so use to him ya know? But its time for me to find someone who deserves me, and this guy definately does not.

I know it hurts real bad, and this is not the way things were suppose to end up, but your ex does not deserve you either. I deserve the best and so do you.

"Girls are like apples on trees: the best ones are at the top. The boys don't wanna reach for the good ones b/c they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples on the ground that aren't as good but hey, at least they're easy. This causes the apples at the top to think that there's something wrong w/ them, when in reality, they're amazing. Be patient and wait for the boy who will take the chance and risk the climb."

hey, of course youre not stupid when my fionce of two years cheated on me and i found out i felt stupid but he was a great liar, its never an excuse of ex gf's cheating ! u should tell him that should have made him not cheat because he knows the pain of being cheated on!!!