When you cheat on your wife, is it because you are truly unhappy and unsatisfied in your marriage? Or are you simply looking for a piece of a** on the side. I am asking because I am with a MM who says he has issues within his marriage. She's controling, bossy, not attracted to anymore, dissimilar interests etc. He is/was looking for someone to fill a void. I do believe him, but will always wonder if he could be telling me what I want to hear.
I am also married and not so happily , which is the reason why I am cheating. If my hubby and I were in complete bliss, I could never start an emotional affa on the side. I think for men it is much easier to have that complete happiness in their marriage, and also want more.
Originally posted by kim_mc
I am asking because I am with a MM who says he has issues within his marriage. She's controling, bossy, not attracted to anymore, dissimilar interests etc. He is/was looking for someone to fill a void. I do believe him, but will always wonder if he could be telling me what I want to hear.
Almost all MM say their wife is wicked witch of the west. What is he gonna say to the woman he's screwing around with: "Oh..yeah, my wife is the best in the world and we have such a great marriage that is why I am about to put my kock into one of your orifices."
Almost all MM say their wife is wicked witch of the west. What is he gonna say to the woman he's screwing around with: "Oh..yeah, my wife is the best in the world and we have such a great marriage that is why I am about to put my kock into one of your orifices."
OH baby, you're on a roll today! LMFAO!!!
Quote:
I am about to put my kock into one of your orifices
He tells me she is a good woman. They are a wonderful 'team' when it comes to certain aspects of their marriage: finances, raising their children. He very rarely puts her down if at all. So that is why I do believe him when he says he is unhappy.
Blech... They are selfish.. they want something new.. Mine tells me there is nothing wrong with his relationship with her thats why its so hard to leave. Whatever.. Naive is right.. they are selfish *******s.
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"Sometimes you just gotta get pissed" - me.
In my opinion, a MM or MW who cheats on their spouse is either one of (or all of) the following:
- Spineless - if you are unhappy, get out
- Liar - Definitely to their spouse and almost definitely to their OM/OW
- Horny and looking for a piece of as& on the side
- Commitment-idiot - can make a commitment but can't keep it
- Selfish - well, if I WANT it, I should get it
- Afraid - If I want to get out, I should have someplace and someone to go to
- Lack self-control - Cheating doesn't just happen
- Fake - pretending to be someone they aren't.
Anybody who would want someone who is one of (or all of) the following, is really getting the raw end of the deal.
In my opinion, a MM or MW who cheats on their spouse is either one of (or all of) the following:
- Spineless - if you are unhappy, get out
- Liar - Definitely to their spouse and almost definitely to their OM/OW
- Afraid - If I want to get out, I should have someplace and someone to go to
Debster, excellent post. Those three above from your post describe my ex-MM perfectly. He has a wife at home who thinks he's being faithful to her, and while she isn't perfect, cetainly is a good person and frankly, appears to have far less faults than I do! And he had me, a wonderful woman in my own right who believed he wanted to be with me and loved him enough to endure awful pain and waiting for that fine day to happen. Thank goodness it never came!
He? Spineless - too afraid of facing the judgement of his friends, children, and family members and petrified - I mean absolutely terrified - of the financial impact. Liar - obviously lying to everyone involved, including himself most of the time. Afraid - are you ready for this? Told me that one of the reasons he didn't move forward with the divorce was because he didn't think I would ultimately stay with him, then he'd be alone! Boo stinking hoo.
Thanks for reminding me, Debster, why I am better off!
Originally posted by kkat
Debster, excellent post. Those three above from your post describe my ex-MM perfectly. He has a wife at home who thinks he's being faithful to her, and while she isn't perfect, cetainly is a good person and frankly, appears to have far less faults than I do! And he had me, a wonderful woman in my own right who believed he wanted to be with me and loved him enough to endure awful pain and waiting for that fine day to happen. Thank goodness it never came!
Women who get involved with MM need to look at themselves also here. You got into a relationship with a man and may have ruined an entire family.
You are no better than he is cause it takes 2 to tango.
Women always complain about the MM they are ***king and how they treat they like shyt. These women deserved what they get. If the women banded together and decided not to steal another woman's man this would not happen.
Women who get involved with MM need to look at themselves also here. You got into a relationship with a man and may have ruined an entire family.
You are no better than he is cause it takes 2 to tango.
Women always complain about the MM they are ***king and how they treat they like shyt. These women deserved what they get. If the women banded together and decided not to steal another woman's man this would not happen.
debster, you're definitely right on target. i think my exMM fits into at least 4 of the categories.
alphamale, yes we complain about the MMs we may be with, but what you may not understand is that for some, by complaining, it helps us to see these men for who they are. the deed and the damage may have already been done and we may have had our heads and hearts in the clouds or up our arses, but by seeing posts like debster's it may help some to be able to gain the insight and strength we need to get out. sometimes complaining isn't all so bad! many of us may enter the relationship thinking our's will be one of the ones that beats the odds, but when we start to see sooooo many similarities between the stories it helps some of us to get a clearer picture of the situation and get our feet planted back on the ground.
In my experience, people who cheat have a chronic problem with dishonesty. It wouldn't be so easy for them to have an entire relationship that they adeptly hide from their spouse for a prolonged period of time and/or a series of brief but intense flings with other people. The times I have witnessed this the people who cheat have a pattern of lying in order to "protect" their loved ones in a variety of scenarios, not restricted to or bound to their infidelity specifically.
The thing is, when you are dishonest with yourself, it becomes second nature to slip into dishonesty with those you care about. It's like drugs. You know that it's bad for you, and it's an illicit pleasure. You know you should stop and stay sober and be straight. But you simply can't, the indulgence is too deliciously pleasurable.
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