[Angel007]

I broke up with my girlfriemd of three years on the 20th of december, I love her but I felt like she did not want me anymore because lately she has not been into me at all sexually for months, it would seem she would try to avoid any sittuation that could arise. Background were going out over three years since before my freshman year in college i am now a junior, I go to school about a two hour drive south of chicago. I would drive home at least twice a month since to spend time with her. I felt this was the woman i could marry someday.. Anyways she denied any problemswith our sex life for about the past 4 months, I felt my pride hurt because i felt unwanted as a man, I laso began to resent her for not being in to me sxually even though it wwas torture these past fewmothswhere i have been away at school unsatisfied. I was having an unusally rough time because i had withdrawn my classes this pat semester, one day I just told her I would like a break, I felt it was something I had to do. She reacted coldly as if she didnt care. anyways we still ended up exchanging xmas giftsand we have seen eac other twice since she says she still loves me but would not waqnt to discuss anythigbabout us she told me she just doesnt want to think of it right now, i tol her i had been a fool , that i love her and thencried and asked her if we could ever be ok. She was acting distant friendly she would let me hug her but would seem to ignore me other wise. I have realized how much she meant to me have not been aable to sleep well since, i dont even feel like doing anything as of late, she seems to be distracting erslf when i talked to her that day she said she had to clean and reorganize her room a huge task she hads not done for years. I am about to go to national guard training in the end of january, i feel as if i have made a huge mistake, she told me she did not want to make the decision of wheter we should be together i apooligized ad all. she said she was thinking and then i asked her to decide she said she couldnt so I let, i miss her dearly, what should I do?

[sean001]

Hey man -- it sux to break up with someone you've been with for 3 years. I know, I had to do it myself and you end up feeling regret as the pain of losing her kicks in.

But I haven't heard anything that says the issues leading to your breakup are resolved. It doesn't seem like you two are very good at communicating.

Regret is normal because when someone has been in your life for a few years it hurts when you let them go. But in this case, it sounds like the pain of staying was just as great.

Also, it sounds like you may have not been able to clearly express why you wanted to break up. Take a moment to list out precisely what you see as the major problems. Then, tell her exactly what you see the problems are and ask her what she thinks the solutions should be. If she denies your feelings on this -- or if these problems even exist -- then you need to move on. After 3 years, you should be able to talk rationally and calmly. Be a man and make it plain what you want. If she can't or won't be a part of the solution, then let her go. You'll feel better about it in the end when you keep your pride intact.