I need to stop playing around on this computer. I was curious, so I "Googled" the screen name of the OW that my husband had and affair with, and what did I come up with? Tons and tons of entries on this very message board! She used to email me and Instant Message me that's how I had her screen name in the first place. I am just sitting here with my jaw on the floor right now reading through all of these things. I need to stop. It's bad enough that I constantly read the emails between her and I, now I have all this crap she wrote professing their love for each other, going into detail about their relationship. It seems she hasn't posted for quite a while which I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing because it seems like she was only posting when they were having issues.
This is a major set back for me. I have to stop digging. I can't keep hurting myself like this, every time I read the emails between the two of us it's just keeping tha pain alive. It's kind of a like driving by a car wreck, you don't really want to see someone bleeding from their eyeballs but you have to look.
I can identify with what you're going through- digging and digging for information, almost in an effort to hurt yourself. How weird that she'd come to the same place, how difficult it must be to read about details of the affair. I'm sorry.
Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama
I can identify with what you're going through- digging and digging for information, almost in an effort to hurt yourself.
Yes, why do we do it to ourselves? And I can't stop. I read the emails contantly like something will change.
The more I sit here and think about it, I wonder if I was being set up. I found out about this place from someone that is associated with her. I was venting about the whole situation and also commenting that it's hard because you can't really talk openly to family and friends about this stuff because it's humiliating. That's when they suggested this place.
I don't know why we do it. For me, I get addicted to the "information." I feel like if I know all the details I will be able to make sense of it, and if I make sense of it I can get over it. But that isn't the way it works, and you and I both know it.
If you were set up, how slimey. This woman is obviously sicker than you thought in that case. Are you still trying to work things out with your husband, or is he with her now?
Location: Central Illinois Originally from Nawlins
Posts: 345
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I can relate, but mine was the finding out about my now ex H's relationship with his 21yr old from work! Her web blog was the killer!
How I kpt quiet about most of what I knew will forever be a mystery tohim and I wouldn't let on for the life of me!
I knew everything BEFORE it happened! So in retrospect I was 50% prepared for the exit. *sigh* As I always said "If you do not want it known, Do not post it on the net!"
That is why/how I let him go I saw that he really loved this girl, so I just said then go to her!
Soon,
it does get better and things do fade but they are NEVER forgotten!
We separated breifely, but recently got back together. We are working on things. But this doesn't help. I feel like I did when I first found out. She talked about him like he was hers and like I was the one in the wrong.
She talked about him like he was hers and like I was the one in the wrong.
She's obviously nutty. That is all I can think to help me get by. My situation isn't exactly like yours but I have the same problem with a nutty woman and looking for info/obsessing over it. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!
Location: Central Illinois Originally from Nawlins
Posts: 345
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That is natural to help the lying cheat feel better about cheating!
Yes, mine portrayed me as taking all the money and putting it in a "secret" account, hmmm what account was that I sure could use it right now!, which was so far from the truth it still sickens me now to this day!
But the humorous part was him being a psychologist!? I read that and said WHOAH! He hasn t even finished any college he ever started! My list could on the lies he used to get that girl, pathetic um hmm it is!
I do wonder why we as the dumpees, we have to have more validation and why we have to know more than we are told? I wasn't told anything His reasonings for leaving? he said and I quote, "I need to grow up and be responsible"! He has never told me he loved the girl. He left thinking I knew nothing but contraere, I knew everything!
I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I don't know that she isn't posting under another screen name, if I start quoting her she is going to know who I am and what screen name I have been posting under. I'd rather not have her reading my posts about how hurt I've been through all of this.
The truth was forced by me out of both of them and they have to live with their actions!
ah, deb ... I read your statement, then look at your avatar and think, "my gosh, with that little face, you could force a whole bunch of puppy kisses!"
I've forever been meaning to tell you that I absolutely LOVE your avatar, the dog's def. a cutie!
back on subject:
s2bs, maybe you're subconciously dredging up the hurt you feel as a way to get it out of your system. sort of like telling yourself all the horrid things someone did to you because your mind is still reeling about what happened, you just can't quite accept it, you know? that opening the wound over and over will somehow make you hardened to the pain that it created.
just my 2 cents
__________________ Where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more … (Rom 5:20)
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