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can u move out & not break up? +HOT/COLD behavior HELP!


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Old 21st December 2004, 2:33 PM   #1
Celie
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can u move out & not break up? +HOT/COLD behavior HELP!

i have been in a complicated relationship where my bf truly loves me but it's pretty obvious i love him that much bit more, which has caused a lot of probs/fights. he has a tendency to be dark, on the verbally-abusive side (which actually he has curbed), hot/cold & when someone is pulling away from you all the time it drives you crazy! (& u act it!)

we live together (in a tiny space) & recently he had been being really distant & told me he felt uncomfortable & was unsure about himself & if he could properly be in our relationship, etc. he refused that it was a breakup speech tho. couple weeks later he is acting like a doll (!?!) but i asked him to move out. he seems to think this move will save our relationship. i say maybe. i do feel i have sum dignity back but i'm afraid he will jst revert back to his old behavior eventually & also, when u move out is there any way to move forward again from that?

we r suddenly getting along swimmingly but i'm about to leave for xmas for a few days. i wonder if i should set up a NC sitch so i can get my head together? (tho on sum level this could cause us more problems b/c we r getting along so well) i know the answer lies in what I want but i'm confused. i guess i'd like to give it 1 more chance but our "playing field" so to speak needs to be evened out b/c he always has the upper hand. any advice?
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Old 21st December 2004, 3:42 PM   #2
tattoomytoe
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i moved out of my bf and my home.

it has helped with our relationship.
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Old 21st December 2004, 4:26 PM   #3
MikeE
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Just doesn't seem like something you should have to do. I think that when you need to move out to save a relationship, it simply isn't worth saving.

Relationships work or they don't, it's that simple. Nothing is gained from forcing it.
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