In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
I would consider myself a fun guy to hang out with. I just seemed to get burned by the girls that i go for currently. Obviously I'm looking in the wrong place. Where would you suggest is a good place to find a girl that is honest and ready to be in a relationship? I go to the bar and that isn't the best of places? Opinions?
Exactly how "good" do you mean? Do you just mean a moral/respectable person that hasn't been around the block too many times? Are you involved in a church? I'm a fan of online dating but that's me, I like to screen people before I go out with them...there are certain things I'm looking for and by asking the right questions I can usually weed out the ones I know I wont "click" with.
Yes, someone that has good morals, and isn't a liar. I tend to go to the bar and have a good conversation and then its like I either talk to the person on the phone and eventually the other person seems uninterested or I am told to call and they say they have fun hanging out and one day , poof, they disappear. I am really not involved with the church so much, but I believe in my religion.
Bars are generally bad. Not that you can't meet nice girls, but most of them are with several other girls and I don't know about you, but I can not walk up to a table full of girls, single one out and try to talk to her.
Bars weren't working for me either and work is no good, so I started doing other stuff. Got involved in more positive, wholesome activities. I did some volunteer trail maintenance on some local mountain bike trails. Met some great people there. Became a ski-patroller, just started but that's working out great. Meeting lots of people and I get to go around and help pretty girls up when they fall
these are just examples, but for a time it seemed all my so-called friends lives revolved around were their careers and "partying". so really I never did anything with them that didn't involve drinking. I got tired of this and wanted to find positive people who like to do cool stuff. Hence my volunteer work cited above. these are recent changes for me and haven't yet led to a relationship but I'm sure it will.
Bohdi, I agree with Tiki. Im old and married now but I've picked up lots of chicks from bars, mostly strippers though, and lemme tell you you're not gonna find a loving, apple pie making, one man woman in those places.
if i had my life to live over, I'd follow Tiki's advice. You should too.
>>>I tend to go to the bar and have a good conversation and then its like I either talk to the person on the phone and eventually the other person seems uninterested or I am told to call and they say they have fun hanging out and one day , poof, they disappear.<<<<
Bars are dating jungles. I just don't do them anymore unless I'm with a group of friends, and even then, it's usually a place where we can just sit and talk. I hate the places where they play music so loud that you can't hear yourselves think (maybe I'm just getting old).
The problem with bars is that if you talk to a good looking girl, she's probably been hit on several times that night already. And she's certainly been hit on in her previous trips to the bar. So unless you've got some game - something that really sets you apart from the crowd - then in her mind, you're just another half-drunk horny guy who wants to take her home but doesn't have the balls to actually say so.
Fish in waters that aren't so shark-infested, like a wine-tasting club or some other organization that promotes a special interest that interestes you. Church is okay, but I wouldn't suggest going to church just to find a girl; only go if you subscribe to the religious practices yourself. Chances are, the girl you pick up at a church will be a devout follower of her faith - you wouldn't want her to find out that you're a fraud later.
Other than that, you can actually find women in all kinds of places but you've got to have some initiative. I've picked up women in public before, but it took me a while to really get to the point where I felt comfortable doing it. Practice makes perfect, though.
I generally have not experiened any success picking up or befriending any girl as a result of going to church. I do go to church regularly, it seems that everyone there already has their own people or circle of friends, and I'm always on the outside looking in.
However, any type of church activity, that would encourage your participation, and that is reasonably co-ed, would be a good-idea. If you are just a spectator, and just having hi and bye acquaintences you just interact with at the end of service, then my experience is that it is just a waste of time in terms of connecting with anyone in a real way.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
