Hi everyone. I lived with my ex for two years and before he broke up with me he would always say he could forget me and be with someone else within a week. I always thought he was just talking. Now he is gone, and I haven't heard from him in a month. Do you think he moved on? Or do you think he is trying to make me stew?
Thanks
I'm not a guy but I guess that would depend on the situation. Why did he break up with you? If you did something wrong, he's probably just going to let you stew. If you did nothing wrong and he just broke it off...he probably means it. Can you elaborate a little more on the circumstances?
Well, we were fighting a lot, basically over the fact that he stopped showing me affection, stopped telling me he loved me, not really acting sexually into me.....so I finally said I would have to find someone else--who desired me and appreciated me--and he up and left haven't heard from him in a month
Heh Moose--what do you mean come back with conditions? So I just figured he left b/c he didn't want to show me the love and affection I needed, therefore, he must not have loved me. Don't you see it that way? He tried nothing, just packed up, moved away, and no word from him since.
Well, if you flat out laid it down to him that he needs to show you love and affection, those are the conditions. He could've been showing you all that in his own little way even though you didn't see it. He might've figured, "Jeeeez, if she can't tell I love and appreciate her now, I'll never be able to please her", and decided it best to leave and allow you to find what you need.
The reason for the no contact could be that you hurt him. Saying that he doesn't show you love and affection, (even if he thinks he has), may have registered to him as you're disappointed and ashamed of him......I'd avoid you too.
Originally posted by butterfly4me
Heh Moose--what do you mean come back with conditions? So I just figured he left b/c he didn't want to show me the love and affection I needed, therefore, he must not have loved me. Don't you see it that way? He tried nothing, just packed up, moved away, and no word from him since.
Do you understand this? Please explain if you do
To me, that would suggest that love was never there in the first place. I believe your perception is correct.
While many men are not overtly emotional, they still have feelings. While he wasn't as demonstrative as you wished for, if there was love, it still would not have been easy for him to simply walk away from the relationship as if it never existed.
only you know how strong minded he is. Strong minded people can move on easily, and only you know how much he loves you, you must know what he is upto by what ur friends say.
Originally posted by butterfly4me
.....so I finally said I would have to find someone else--who desired me and appreciated me--and he up and left haven't heard from him in a month
This is a risk inherent to making an ultimatum, that is, "calling the bluff."
One needs to be careful about doing this, and prepared to go through with what was threatened.
Originally posted by butterfly4me
Hi everyone. I lived with my ex for two years and before he broke up with me he would always say he could forget me and be with someone else within a week. I always thought he was just talking. Now he is gone, and I haven't heard from him in a month. Do you think he moved on? Or do you think he is trying to make me stew?
Thanks
If he told you that then my first question to you is "Why did you tolerate it?!"
He's basically saying "You don't mean jack to me..."
Why women will put up with men like that while tossing aside nice guys, I'll never know. Being a nice guy does not mean you are a wimp or spineless....
Originally posted by butterfly4me
Hi everyone. I lived with my ex for two years and before he broke up with me he would always say he could forget me and be with someone else within a week. I always thought he was just talking. Now he is gone, and I haven't heard from him in a month. Do you think he moved on? Or do you think he is trying to make me stew?
Thanks
If he would tell you this and now that you guys are broken up he does not call, I have to say he was not bluffing.
Heh everyone. I really appreciate all of your replies, b/c this has really been tough on me. For the first year of so, he was so loving and affectionate. That's why when that part ended, I was upset. I just thought he needed a nudge to get back to the way he was, but obviously I was being led on. When his time came to make a perfect exit, he did with no looking back===or calls for that matter.
the reason he left and has been gone for a month is because he's done with you. obviously he was done when he stopped touching you. same way a woman is done with a man when she stops touching him, or telling him i love you.
don't hold your breath. take a little time off from relationships, catch your breath and just live. it'll all come back to you again. life is cyclical, we do it over and over and over again
For the first year of so, he was so loving and affectionate. That's why when that part ended, I was upset. I just thought he needed a nudge to get back to the way he was, but obviously I was being led on. When his time came to make a perfect exit, he did with no looking back===or calls for that matter.
Maybe it wasn't entirely leading you on... the relationship is always a little different in the beginning, because it is new and exciting and there's more of a desire then to please the other person. Some of that affection may have just been him doing what he thought you wanted in order to make you happy but some of may have also been truly a part of him, but he came to decide he didn't want to be that way anymore. I really don't know enough to say, but my gut instinct tells me he was just tired of it. And then when you held the door open, he took the opportunity to walk through it. It was kind of a relief for him, and hence the no calls.
__________________
Everything is going to be alright
Be strong
Believe
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
