[AngelSerra]

Wow, I do not know where to begin.

My boyfriend of nearly two years recently broke up with me because he said there were some things about the relationship that bothered him, even though he was telling me 3 days earlier that he wanted to know what kind of engagement ring I wanted and was super cuddly with me the night before he broke up with me. I know that I had been pressuring him about getting engaged and that I wanted to marry him - I would start crying and say that I was afraid that he would come to a point where he said if it has not happened by a certain point, that it would never happen. I did that on the night we broke up - I started crying, got emotional, and he got upset because though he assured me that he loved me, that did not console me. Instead of getting upset like he usually did because nothing he said would make me feel better, he said he could not do this anymore and ended things with me.

I have since realized that the reason why I was so fixated and worried that he would leave is because my mother was always telling me that she thought he would decide I was not the one and let me go. My mother has put stipulations on every relationship I have ever had, has said things that hurt me, and made me doubt the man I was with. She would do this until I cried my fears to him because I had heard them so often from her. I now see that I took what she said as my own and would be emotional over it until the man I was with would break up with me or I would break up with him before he had the chance to hurt me. I really love this man who just recently ended things with me, and it was this love for him that finally made me see what my mother has been doing to me. I so desperately want to share what I have learned about myself and why I pushed so hard for the next step, and why I always cried that I feared he would leave. I am just very nervous that he will not listen to what I have to say. Is there anything that I can do?