[Starnette83]

Ive been with my bf for 4 years but if i bring up marriage or commitment he doesnt wanna talk about it...ahhh drives me crazy but maybe he just wants to take it day by day, should i remain and keep dreaming that maybe someday he will want to talk about it and will wanna marry me (hes 20 yrs old)

[LucreziaBorgia]

20 is pretty young to start thinking about who you are going to spend the next 50-60 years with, particularly when you are talking about a relationship that started when he was 16. He probably doesn't want to talk about marriage and commitment, because he isn't ready for it and he isn't sure that you are the person he wants to spend the rest of his life committed to or married to.

If you are tired of your current relationship, and determined that you want to push it to the next step, you can initiate the next step: the put up or shut up step. Tell him that you are looking for a committed, serious relationship that will result in marriage. If he can't provide that, then you two need to break up. It will most likely end that way, so you need to prepare yourself.

If you want marriage and commitment, then it may be best that you date around and go looking for that guy who will want that type of relationship with you. Wouldn't you want a guy who wants to be married to you and talks about it rather than one that 'doesn't want to talk about it' with you?

I know you care about your boyfriend, but sometimes relationships just reach the highest point that they ever will and then settle into an inertia point before they end. They coast on and on, exactly like they are with no progress forward or backward. Unfortunately this one hit that point before marriage and commitment came into the picture.

[Sukotto]

Are you two living with each other yet? If not then try that for a year or so, will definately kill some time and let him get into the whole commited thing.