I fooled around with a married man at work, now what do I do
Okay, I have had a situation occur between me and a MM about a week ago and I have no idea what in the world to think or what to do. We both work together and one day we were in the office together alone. We always flirted because I think he is a very attractive man and he thinks I am a cute woman, but I never thought anything about it. Well to make a long story short on thing leads to another and we end up having oral sex in the office. A couple of days later I had to call him about signing some paper work to tie up loose ends and he sounds all excited to hear my voice. I asked him is there anything else I could do for him (cause he asked me to inital the areas of paperwork he forgot) and he said not over the phone you can't and I kind of laughed and left it at that. Friday and Saturday, we worked together at the same building and he was very friendly and nice but did not really say anything about what happened or even pull me over to the side to explain WTF was happening with this situation. I have to work with him tomorrow and I have no idea how to handle this "problem". A friend says he still is flirting but very low key (she is sleeping with a MM so she would know) Do I try to address this problem cause every once in a while he says some sexual things when he can get me alone and though I know it is wrong I would love to sleep with him once so I can get it out of my system. Or do I leave it alone and chop it up to one of those things that just happened and something that will not be talked about again?
Thanks for all of you guys help and sorry if I am not clear or leaving out something important.[font=times new roman][/font][color=blue][/color]
Location: Heaven won't take me, and hell's afraid I'll take over
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You want to sleep with this MM to "get it out of your system"
Well.. IF you've enjoyed the uncertainty and game playing thats taken place over the last week thats gone on with between you and MM and you're up for a whole lot more mind games and uncertainty for awhile longer, then by all means continue to persue this..
IMO sleeping with him is only going to further complicate the situation and in the end make you unhappy.
My two cents
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Don't be mad at me when I'm mad at you.
I know the feeling of what you're going through because recently I was in a similar situation sort of. But I have the feeling that sleeping with him won't get it "out" of your system but make it even harder to get it out of your system.
Unless of course you can have sex unemotionally. I can't.
Don't do it, you'll be sorry you did when you start REALLY liking him and he starts with the whole "you know I'm married sweetie, why can't you just be satisfied with the relationship we have and be happy when we are together" crap ! I'm telling you.....it's coming........save yourself now BEFORE it's too late.......
So your female coworker is boinking a MM, you are giving BJ's to a MM coworker. Ain't life grand. Doesn't anybody respect boundaries these days?..that someone who's married is off limits? How would you feel one day if you're married and some workplace ho is wrapping her lipstick around your husband's dipstick? That would be okay with you? The moral issues aside, are you looking to get fired?
Definetly a horrible idea. Leave it alone and respect yourself enough to not go through with it. Do you like sloppy seconds? What do you expect to actually get out of this? You keep it up and you will start expecting a lot more that you will not ever have. Feelings can be strong and overpowering, back off now before it's too late, for your own good.
Originally posted by indigo_moon
So your female coworker is boinking a MM, you are giving BJ's to a MM coworker. Ain't life grand. Doesn't anybody respect boundaries these days?..that someone who's married is off limits? How would you feel one day if you're married and some workplace ho is wrapping her lipstick around your husband's dipstick? That would be okay with you? The moral issues aside, are you looking to get fired?
Whoa....these husbands aren't exactly innocent you know--not at all. In my case, they were the aggressor. It's not like they're just doing their job and this woman is throwing herself naked in front of them and they're just helpless. I don't think so.........
Btw, if someone does have a husband that is "victim" to these OW, then even if SHE says no to him, doesn't mean HE'LL change---he will very likely find himself another.
Of course these MM aren't innocent, I surely never stated or implied they were. However,it's not the MM that's posting here asking if she should "have sex to get it out of his system" - it's the other woman who's here asking if she should become further involved with someone else's snake of a husband. It's a sad day when a woman has such little self control and self respect but to get caught up in the skanky flirtations of someone who has a wife at home - with such little self control that she magically finds herself sucking on his corn cob pipe - and then having to ask the question if she should go all the way and have full blown intercourse with him. What part of "married" do some people not get? Why would any woman want a sleazy married man who's betraying his wife and no doubt getting his rocks off by many different women? Are women so desperate for attention that they fall for this type of transparent attention? The guy couldn't care less about her, he's just looking for someone easy to give him a thrill - nothing more, nothing less. Sure hope he doesn't have a scorching case of herpes or some other STI that she may have contracted by sucking on bo-bo - never know where that dog's dick has been - literally.
Bottom line is: what kind of day and age are we in where people have to stop and ask others, "should I go ahead and play sink the sub with someone's husband?"
I have had a situation occur between me and a MM about a week ago...
Did this "just occur"? Probably not. Someone was driving it - likely him.
Quote:
...and I have no idea what in the world to think or what to do.
Think: that he's a user, out for what he can get. Do: keep your distance from him, inform him that shenanigans are over. Look for your carnal fun outside the office. Sleeping with him will NOT get it out of your system.
This oral sex...I hope YOU were experiencing the orgasms, not him, but I fear that in this one-sided "relaqtionship", he's all about taking, you're all about getting taken...
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
Originally posted by indigo_moon
So your female coworker is boinking a MM, you are giving BJ's to a MM coworker. Ain't life grand. Doesn't anybody respect boundaries these days?..that someone who's married is off limits? How would you feel one day if you're married and some workplace ho is wrapping her lipstick around your husband's dipstick? That would be okay with you? The moral issues aside, are you looking to get fired?
Indigo moon is absolutely correct, I almost got fired based on a new form of sexual harassment, where if it disturbs someone to see something happen at work that is even ever so slightly sexual, like a kiss between 2 people not married to each other (lots of tattle tales with their own agendas out there.....) and they complain by WRITING A LETTER TO THE HEAD OF THE COMPANY AND ALL THE MANAGERS which ruins your professional reputation, so you file a complaint and say "it was not what it appeared to be, it was just a long hug between friends" to protect your reputation (their word against yours afterall....and they were at quite a distance when they claimed to have seen it happen), but the bosses believe them instead, after a lengthy investigation where all of a sudden more witnesses appear who happen to be best friends of the original complainant, and who have done this sort of thing to other employees to gain recognition from management and receive monetary awards for pain and suffering. Then you don't necessarily get fired......it's worse than that.....you will never move up in the Company no matter what. You are written up for "dishonesty" and given a suspension from work. All those years of hard work, down the drain.......! All for what......a guy who could really care less where he put his c-ck as long as it was convenient! Yeah, he got his suspension too, but he's already in Management, and last I heard getting a nice raise from his new boss who now happens to be a man who has had affairs as well! (last boss was a married woman). He sure lucked out that his last boss suddenly got a promotion! (she was involved in the investigation......hmmm.........brownie points...?)
Last edited by Patiently waiting; 28th November 2004 at 7:12 PM..
Wow......some very interesting comments from everyone. Thank you to everyone who has replied, nicely and not so nicely, it really is giving me a lot to think about in this situation. Though I do find him attractive, I do not think it would be good for me to sleep with this guy. I have never picutred myself being the OW, but then again I don't think anyone does. However, I do not know how to push him away cause we work very close together, at least 3 times a week, and I don't know if I am strong enough to not play his game.
As far as the job issue is concerned, today was his last day working for our company full time. He is moving to another company in town, but will be helping out every weekend at one of our companies (mainly the one I work at every Sat.) to make some extra money. No one knows what happened except us. We were alone, which is where the problem started. So, I am not concerned with losing my job cause no one will find out (at least I pray they will not). So right now, the plan is simply to keep weekends busy for him and me so neither one of us have time to think about it.
And BTW for SoleMate: It was a receiving on both ends. He was very generous in that area.
what do you mean when you say you're not strong enough to resist playing his game? you aren't even in love with this guy so what else would be the reason not do something you know would be a bad thing? do you mean you're not strong enough to control your own lust? in that case, go out and find another hunky dude (single) and bonk him all you want so you won't be tempted to with this married loser.
Stay away from this MM. He will only cause you heartache in the end. I am not the OW, but the W, and my H had an A w/ one of his co-workers during our seperation. After H realized that the grass isn't greener on the other side he dumped the OW. He was her supervisor and after he broke it off w/ her she always thought he was out to fire her b/c she knew that I didn't like them working 2gether. Anyhow, she turned him in for harrassment. When they called H into the office to talk to him about the situation he admitted that he had an A w/ her and that he thinks her filing a complaint against him was to get him fired for getting back at him for dumping her. It caused a lot of problems. I read a few IM's that she sent to him and in all of them she mentioned she was worried he was trying to get her fired, which he wasn't. Anyhow, she did get him fired and H has a lawsuit against the co. b/c my family, H's family, and his lawyer feel that the company was too harsh w/ firing him over the situation (long story). It could of been, and should of been the OW that was fired also for sleeping w/ her supervisor. It worked out better for us in the end that he got fired b/c now he now longer works w/ the OW (who I have known for 3 years since H started working w/ her).
It's not worth loosing your job, your self respect, your dignity, to sleep w/ a MM, especially to get it out of your system. A few months b4 H and I seperated I flat out asked him if he wasn't married would he want to sleep w/ the OW. To my horror he said if he wasn't married he would want to sleep w/ her b/c he would be curious what she was like in bed! I was so upset and hurt! It's not worth it. Plz really think b4 you continue anymore personal relations w/ this MM.
Originally posted by indigo_moon
About your husband's major lapse in judgment, you wrote:
In my mind, an authority figure should be more at fault as they're supposed to be a role model and set a professional example, no??
I totally agree indigo. I guess what ticks me off is that she runs and turns him into the HR Dept for harmless "horseplay" (as his lawyer put it), and he gets fired but yet she can grabbed men's crothes (I heard it from several ppl who seen it and H has also told me she acts like that w/ all the guys she works w/.) and yet nothing happens to her. Why, b/c the men either like that their are getting grabbed by her and so they don't want to turn her in for sexual harrassment or they are just don't want to cause any problems.
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