Hello all, I have a question. My H has been surfing porn for a long time now. Yes thats right another porn question? We have had many talks about this. It doesn't really bother me that much but he just does it so often. We have looked at it together before etc. He hasn't not wanted sex with me or anything because of it either. As a matter of fact he wants it more. Heres my question though. He tells me he loves me(I believe him) and that I'm wonderful and have a nice body and everything, so if thats is so and he feels that way, then why look at it all the time?


I have asked him if theres anything I have done or said thats causing him to want to look at it alot, he says no. One time he said it didn't have anything to do with me. Then there was a time when he said it was my fault for why he looked at it alot. I give it to him alot, I try different things he wants to do. As a matter of fact we have about done it all. I have read before peoples post that state, "As long as he isn't denying you sex then don't worry about it." Thats my point exactly all seems good in the sex department, so why continue to look at it all the time? Maybe hes lieing to me. Maybe I don't really do anything for him and he doesn't have the heart to tell me, I don't know. Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

PS. I forgot to mention, in my post where I said at one time he said it was my fault, the counsleor said that was basically an excuse because when asked what it was I did to make him feel the need to look at it, he changed his story and said, "I just said that."

[UCFKevin]

In all likelihood, it's probably nothing. He just likes to masturbate and get off without the big to do about sex and having to get you ready, finding you in the right frame of mind, getting you off before he can get off, etc. It's MUCH easier to just watch porn and wank sometimes. Nothing ulterior behind it.

I think ucfkevin is right, problem is that it hurts to know that your spouse would rather take the easy way out of it. We all want to feel worth the effort, most of the time at least. I guess to me the whole thing is about more than getting off, its about connecting as well. I am really glad you're seeing a counselor for it since its causing problems in your relationship.

Hi, thanks to you both for the replys. I don't mind it that much, just not all the time thats really my main issue with it. Hopefully the counsleor can shed some light on why he feels the need to look at it all the time. Maybe he truly has a problem or an addiction and it doesn't have anything to do with me. Thanks again.

[Pocky]

If it's not causing a problem in your relationship then why make it one? As long as it doesn't interfere with the intimacy you should have in your marriage then I maintain the opinion that there is nothing wrong with porn.

I view porn the same way I view my own fantasies. I have no interest in actually being with the men in my fantasies or to do the things I picture, but it's sure as hell fun to imagine it and masturbate to it! Doesn't mean I love my husband any less and it doesn't mean I don't think he's attractive, but fantasies are a natural part of life. Men usually need visual stimulation during masturbation and there's no difference in seeing it on the screen or imagining it.

[DayumQuitPlayin]

Hmmm...
Is that a big problem?
Some guys just really like Porn. Some guys need visual stimulation.. and have a high sex drive. He may just like to look at porn and masturbate whenever he feels arroused. Nothing is wrong with it. The only time you should worry is if you feel he may be going to others for that.. and if that's the case.. then Yea.. worry about it.. and yea.. it may be because he's not satisfied with you.

Other than that.. its a normal thing. Just like how some people is into cartoons.. its just something they like.

Good Lucc

Viewing it all the time like you say, then yes thats a problem, glad you all are in counseling. ALL THE TIME is considered an addiction. Its no different than someone that smokes, if they smoke all day long on and off, then yes its an addiction. Addictions come in many forms and some people don't even realize it.


______________________________

"Don't argue with me, you wont win."

i totally agree most guys view porn .. but it is out of the respect of the individual you don't do it.. what is the need if you are getting what you want from your relationship.. i just don't understand what is so great about it all .. why can't the men masturbate with their wife or SO i don't get it!! it makes the spouse feel like they aren't good enough and hurts their selfesteem. alot of that stuff puts strange thoughts in your mind.. i also don't get whats with men looking at teeny boopers thats just plain sick especially if you have children.. and the beastiality stuff is sick having sex with animals why would anybody get off on that.. so if people think that kind of porn is ok that is sick !!!

Thanks for the replys. Analyzer, glad you saw my point. That was main concern, it wasn't really about the porn being looked at from time to time it was all the time that was my question. Maybe I should I have put that in caps like you did to point out what I was referring too. Thanks again.

why can't the men masturbate with their wife

I'd love to, but at this point, we don't/can't even hold hands.

....that is sick !!!

I agree there are limits to what should be/is acceptable, but on the other hand, let's not get too holier than tho so to speak. For instance, some people feel that SOs masturbating together is sick. IOWs, whereas you can't see why some people are doing some things, they cannot see why you are. Touche? Seriously, you covered a large spectrum in your post, and lumping all the things together does not seem fair, after all, you didn't.

hey craig c i don't think im holier than thou cause im not .. i just don't see what is with all the sick porn thats what i was referring to that was sick .. you misinterrupeted what i said the teeny booper porn and beasteality