|
Only child moved out (before wedding) but parents not taking it well...
Those of you who have read my posts before will probably ocngratulate me for finally moving out of my parents' place and now living with my fiancee before our wedding this coming spring...
It's an exciting but difficult enough adjustment -- new responsibilities, new space, new compromises, etc. but my parents (and overbearing father especially) are making our life MISERABLE and taking all the joy out of planning our wedding!
It seems that every week we have an "incident" where my parents either complain about me not wanting to see them, or about us not including them in our plans, or about my fiancee not behaving "like a proper daughter-in-law" (i.e.: showing she is becoming part of a larger family and wanting to get to know them better) or accusing me of turning my back and "abandoning my family" and being far too influenced by my fiancee! It's exhausting us, seriously affecting our relationship and we have come close to calling everything off because of it.
My fiancee thinks we have to "wean" them from expecting and demanding things like weekly contact (sometimes we just WON'T be available, so what?), and I agree. But unlike me she also thinks we can't "hang out" with parents and that mine just stick their noses into our lives too much. But what about making the transition "easier" for the old folks?
I have been VERY close with my parents as an only child... they always knew my plans, always gave advice and always influenced my decisions in some way. They're just not used to hearing "no" from me, and they have their own problems which means they have been using me as an emotional crutch all my life...
So what do we all need? Therapy (doing that)? Time and patience for everyone to find their balance? A good slap in the head? Christmas holidays are coming up and I just cannot stomach the thought of all of us NOT spending some time together as a "new" happy extended family...
Any advice??
|
Linear Mode
