[fuzzy]

Following on from my last thread, I wander if any of you guys can offer me any advice.

I have been trying so hard to not make contact with my ex over the past four days or so, but as you all know, it is so difficult. Apart from checking my emails all day hoping to have received an email from her, I have done so well. I thought to myself that there was no way I was going to make contact with her and if she was to have sent me an email I would have just ignored it for a few days and then written a short email detailing how I am doing just fine. Throughout today I was getting even more depressed facing the prospect that she did not even care enough to even send me a short email but I planned to counteract this by jumping into my car and go for a pint in my new surroundings. However, just before I was going to leave my phone went and guess who it was? Yep, Her Majesty! She was calling to let me know that I have had a new credit card delivered to her house. I was pleased to hear from her and we started chatting. I was trying to be really upbeat, taking the advice from other posts I have read on here, not letting her know my pain. I think I did really well in doing that. I even made her cry accidentally…nothing bad; I just said that I saw a shooting star, wishing for her happiness in the future…although extremely corny I am proud to say I did! Not sure if you are supposed to tell people although I am hoping that the superstition only applies to blowing out candles on a birthday cake!

Anyway, the phone call went so well and I even ended up saying that it had been a pleasure speaking to her and I hope to hear from her soon. Pretty cool I think! I felt liberated for an hour or so but then it hit me…I think I am just kidding myself. I don’t feel any better now, instead all I am thinking is that I may have a chance again. I never gave up hope before but now it is stronger than ever. I said in my last post that I just did not trust her motives of splitting up with me…it’s funny because I can consciously see that I am looking to make sense of the break up and in doing so I was coming to the conclusion that she had met someone else. When I speak to her I know that this is not the case. Is this normal?

I said to her that I was thinking of going over for a visit in the next couple of weeks. I made out that I was not going to see her, instead I was going to see some other friends that live far away from her...but this is not the case, I would be going to see her, although if the atmosphere was bad then I could go to see my mates…not that I use them, I think they would understand. I asked her that if I were passing would she like to meet for a coffee. She said sure and I thought that this is my chance. I remember when we were chatting about the break up some time ago that she had made a decision but the she saw me…(as I looked stunning…lol)…she changed her mind because she knew she still had feelings for me. I am hoping that if I am to see her again she will start to see me in a new light or start to see the error of her decision. Is this a good idea? I can picture me just meeting her and I am acting cool and she can’t resist flinging her arms around me. In reality I would probably go to pieces.

I find myself in a difficult situation even though I am aware that if she no longer wants me, I know that sooner or later I will find someone else. However, I was bought up with the idea that if you really want something so much, you should never let it go without a fight. Seeing her again would be my last ace that I can play. Am I just kidding myself? Even though it is not what I want, should I just do the NC? I am starting to think that I would like to do this but I just don’t want to live life in regret. She has told me quite a few times that she does not think that there is any chance of us getting back together but tonight I was offering a bit of banter and she replied with no rejection. I know that she has told me that she has made a choice but I just don’t think that it is 100%.

From reading the above I was wandering if any of you guys have been through similar situations.

Should I just give it up now? If I go will I go would I come back feeling worse if I was rejected? In a couple of weeks surely I would feel better and more confident.

Help Me!

[Mary3]

Do you really want to be with someone who no longer wants to be with you ?

Do you really want to stare at the phone all day and wait for it to ring meanwhile life is passing you by outside ?

Do you really want to keep giving and giving and giving some more with nothing in return ?

Do you really want to delude yourself that she will take you back when she realizes what a wonderful guy you really are ?

Please, please realize it takes time to heal. I went through exactly what you are going through ...

NO they dont want what you want
NO they dont sit there for hours in the dark silently sufferring the loss...
No they dont want to rekindle ......only YOU do...

Let them go and move on...I tell you this now so you dont waste months of your life only to find it didnt change anything and they still DONT want you anymore.

Please get busy...find projects...volunteer...sports...art....find SOMETHING ....find your new life because thats what you need to do . And NOW

Dear Fuzzy,

I reckon that all the advice on this forum is sound and Mary3 is right in what she says. It might seem harsh but it is real.

This forum is great and I would encourage you to continue to use it as often as possible!


RU12?