[ThumbingMyWay]

I was reading another thread and I have a thought about breaking trust or lack there of.

Heres kinda the situ I read about and it has me wondering.....

lets say you have a slight distrust of your SO. So you do some snooping (cell phone, IM's, email, etc...) and find some evidence that can justify the distrust. You go ahead and confront them, and they inturn accuse you and say they dont trust you anymore becasue you snooped thru there stuff.

So what gives?....how can one be labled as untrustful becasue they snooped to find evidence to support their distrust of the other person. I mean SO #1 was doing things that were distrustful, then SO #2 snoops and finds outs....but then SO#1 turns it around to say SO#2 is the untrustful one becasue they snooped.

I dont get it

[Merin]

Originally posted by ThumbingMyWay
I was reading another thread and I have a thought about breaking trust or lack there of.

Heres kinda the situ I read about and it has me wondering.....

lets say you have a slight distrust of your SO. So you do some snooping (cell phone, IM's, email, etc...) and find some evidence that can justify the distrust. You go ahead and confront them, and they inturn accuse you and say they dont trust you anymore becasue you snooped thru there stuff.

So what gives?....how can one be labled as untrustful becasue they snooped to find evidence to support their distrust of the other person. I mean SO #1 was doing things that were distrustful, then SO #2 snoops and finds outs....but then SO#1 turns it around to say SO#2 is the untrustful one becasue they snooped.

I dont get it

It's a case of "How dare you figure out I'm lying my a** off and call me on it" people always get defensive when they know 1) they are wrong and 2) they've been caught

My motto... IF you would be ashamed for others to know what you've done or are doing, then don't do it... and IF you choose to do it anyway, then be prepared for the consequence(s)

Amazing how people can say they are sorry.. but I wonder if they are sorry for what they did, or sorry they got caught... I tend to think the latter.

[tattoomytoe]

it's just a good way to pass the blame back. My bf is the master at this. I can't really have any type of argument with him, cause somehow he twists things and it's my fault.

i wish i knew how........

[reservoirdog1]

It's a standard game played by cheating spouses who get caught. (See my signature line... it sums up their approach.)

When TBXWW left evidence of a secret email account and a link to philanderers.com on our computer a few years ago, I challenged her on it. She told me that she'd set up the secret account to "bait" me because she was worried that I was having an affair. (Needless to say, I'd done nothing to make her think that.) Like an idiot, however, I bought her explanation. Didn't learn the full truth till a year and a half later, when other people knew about her rampant cheating and she had no choice but to come clean.

And, there's always the old standby: "what are you doing snooping on me?" Again, totally typical. Don't allow yourself to feel bad about snooping. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Especially from their spouse.

I second what Merin said... I don't really know if TBXWW was actually sorry for what she did to me, or just sorry that she couldn't get out of the marriage without me finding out what she'd done.