[creativelyobsessed]

i want to know this -- because i am nice to EVERYONE. i have a lot of respect for others, rarely cut people off on the road, always smile at people waiting on me even when i am having a really bad day...

but more and more it seems that the more i WORK on myself, on being happy and accepting myself, the more attrition it seems i face from strangers. of course, this is not 100% of the time -- smiling and being helpful to others feels wonderful and it goes a long way. but GEEZUS what is wrong with people in general?

it seems like 50% of the people i deal with on a daily basis (i'm in sales) whether they are potential or existing customers or just bystanders are simply rude, crude or bummed out.

when i go out to bars, there are those people -- i don't know where they come from -- who sneer or evil eye me. i NEVER do that! i want to know, how does a person who does that really feel inside? what does it feel like to be THAT jealous? i'm assuming this IS in fact jealousy.

why can't people just fix themselves instead of being jealous haters?! i have had my terrible, tough bouts in life just like anyone else. but the more in control and the happier i feel, the more bad energy i feel from other people.

is it just me? can anyone add to this? why are people so threatened by what they SEE instead of what they KNOW?

[Moose]

Boy do I know where you're coming from. A lot of people can't be happy, or comfortable unless there is suffering or tragedy around them. I've reached the point to where it doesn't bother me anymore. I figure, hey, it's not my fault they're all miserable and chose not to do anything about it. I'll be in a good mood no matter what kind of reaction I'm going to get.

I don't know if it's jealousy or not. I hang around of lot of low class, middle class people and I get stares from their families and friends. I don't know if they think since I have a nice car/clothes, all my teeth, white too!!! hehe, that I'm showing off or what. I know that some of them do. I try to play it off telling them up front that hey, it's not a real lambroghini, it's a kit car, or my brother gave me these clothes, or, this is a hand me down cell phone....but it doesn't do any good.

So I quit trying. Let them be, they can be jealous, think I'm showing off, or that I'm just a plain jerk.....I don't care anymore. I'm not letting people bring me down.

People are pretty nice to me in general. Maybe I'm uglier than you guys, my stuff isn't as nice, my teeth aren't as white, my car isn't as fancy..


Do you guys get my point?

[Moose]

Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama
People are pretty nice to me in general. Maybe I'm uglier than you guys, my stuff isn't as nice, my teeth aren't as white, my car isn't as fancy..


Do you guys get my point?

I get your point, but what's so wrong with having those things? Why do people have to be so rude and look at us like we're the plague?

[loveregardless]

I think people generally have a bad additude towards people they perceive as fake or materialistic. I think any woman that I see wearing a sh*t load of makep, a blouse that costs more than it would to feed a small village, with her hair obviously having been done within the last two weeks at what I'm sure was a very expensive salon, her nails perfectly manicured, with her matching prada purse and shoes, and an air of condesention about her, is pathetic. I think a man who drives around in a car that costs more than most peoples houses, wearing equally as expensive clothing and shoes, with his cell phone attached to his ear, who flaunts his Visa Platinum to attract women, and has an air of condesention about him, is pathetic.

I think that when you intentionally surround yourself with items that convey wealth and a facade of beauty you are asking to be disliked. I'm not saying that EITHER OF YOU DO THESE THINGS, but many do, and I as well as many others, just think its pathetic. I am certainly FAR from JEALOUS of people who surround themselves with materialistic "wealth"...it means nothing to me. And NOT because I couldn't have those things if I WANTED them...but I have no desire for "stuff".

I don't waste money on expensive clothing that small children made in sweat shops.
I don't waste my money on getting my nails and hair done every two weeks.
I don't wear makeup at all.
I don't drive an expensive car.
I don't even own a cell phone.
My teeth are naturally perfectly straight, but have never been artificially whitened.

So, I'm not sure if that answered either of your questions, but if you think people are jealous of you, then you must think your pretty hot sh*t, and that is a definite additude problem. So of course if people pick up on that, "I know your jealous of me" additude they are gonna shoot ya dirty looks....makes sense to me.

And I'm not trying to be mean to either of you, I am just trying to show you the perspective of the people you think are so miserable. Now are far as them just being miserable people and having their own additude problems, is that really a shocker to anyone? People are miserable! Our entire society is miserable, lack minded, needy, whiney, selfish and NEVER satisfied.

BTW, I don't know how to spell condesention and LS spell check SUX.

I'm saying, maybe your looks or stuff aren't better at all, you just think they are. Maybe what people are turned off by is your attitude.

I don't know you, and I'm not trying to make you angry, but its an observation and worth some thought.

Someone who thinks that people are jealous and hate them because they're good looking, wealthy, smart, etc (calling people "jealous haters") sound pretty full of themselves, right? Perhaps that is what people pick up on and dislike?

[tiki]

They are mad because you have it and they don't. It's jealousy.

Continue to treat them the same way no matter what. Show them that you too are human underneath, no matter how hot you may be!

[loveregardless]

I completely AGREE!

[Sukotto]

Because these jealous people think that you've got to where you are easily and think they can never achieve it themselves, the usually dont have any self confidence and no one is willing to give them advice on how to change that. Go back to college, get a qualification, find a better job etc.

I have to deal with it a fair bit too, I did do alot of things that my ex wished that caused some jealousy with people as they thought it was me just flaunting my money.

She complained about my car, it was an old banger that I had been driving for a year. So i went and bought a nice new car that was relatively up market for someone of my age.

She complained about my teeth being slightly yellow (they've always been) so I paid to have them whitened

I paid for the two of us to go on holiday spur of the moment just because


I use to get looks from my friends and her friends too, the thing is I worked hard to get where I am. I may have fell into the job but I work long hard hours.

[Moose]

My point is that I try not to come off like I'm all that. I really do. I built my car from a kit with my own two hands, I have pics and tapes to prove it. I'm currently working another one too. They aren't expensive when you get the kits and buy a 1200.00 Fiero and get your hands dirty.

As far as my clothes, I have to dress nice for work. Most of my clothing are write offs anyway so I tend to spend more than a person usually would. I certainly don't walk into a room and flash my credit cards or constently have my cell phone glued to my ear.

So, I'm not sure if that answered either of your questions, but if you think people are jealous of you, then you must think your pretty hot sh*t, and that is a definite additude problem. So of course if people pick up on that, "I know your jealous of me" additude they are gonna shoot ya dirty looks....makes sense to me.

What are you saying here LR? That I think I'm hot *****? And that I have an attitude problem? Just because I notice some of the stares and talking under one's breath? That I think people are jealous of me? If I know what people were thinking, then why would I be curious about their reactions? Why would I want to know what others are thinking when they do look at me like that?

You're a long ways to knowing me.

[loveregardless]

I am SOO friggin tired of you taking MY words out of context, even when other people say the same damn sh*t as me, just because you want to argue with ME.

What about this part Moose

I'm not saying that EITHER OF YOU DO THESE THINGS

Which I made sure to put in just so that you wouldn't do this exact thing.

If you say, PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS OF ME, you are conveying to all of us that you think there is a REASON for people to be jealous of you. If you don't think people are jealous of you then I wasn't talking to you was I?

You really need to get over your combative additude with me in every friggin thread. It's tiring. Why don't you jump down dramas throat for saying the exact same thing as I did?

Seriously...could you not be so ridiculous and stop putting words into MY mouth. For goodness sakes already it is SO OLD!

Reading the beginning of your post I was going to tell you that you had nothing to worry about then. If you know you work hard for what you have, then don't worry about the looks. But I suppose I should just keep the nice comments to myself since you have no desire to see that side of me.

well i have really noticed this in the past 15 years that people in general are hateful and wont give you the time of day in most cases as that is bothering them so they say or think.
i think its due to the fast paced world and women working as hard if not harder than some men.
actually i call it crap as its a shame that people have fell to this point all for the greed and hunger for riches and i have more than u have and my house is bigger than yours and my car cost as much as your house does and i am better than you syndrome
also i dont see where it makes any difference wheter u r all dressed up and looking fantastic or u r in just plain ole clothes as the reaction is the same either way.i goto the local mall here in charlotte nc and see some of the most stuckup type people there is and its not just here but in any place like this u goto

actually i caught myself in that illusional syndrome a few years back and have done my best to keep myself outta that train of thought and instead now when i goto the grocery store or wally world or the like and i see people sitting at the entrance on a bench or the like i will walk by them and say hello, its a gorgeous day isnt it and sometimes shake their hand(s) and honestly if we all tried this it might rub off but either way it will make u feel great inside.

people need to really understand that GOD is gettin pissed as he watches this go on and after the wtc bombing people grew much closer but only for a short time unfortunatly but trust me GOD will show his wrath again soon to show people u r NOT livin right

im doin my part

r u?

[Elmo]

Originally posted by creativelyobsessed
i want to know this -- because i am nice to EVERYONE. i have a lot of respect for others, rarely cut people off on the road, always smile at people waiting on me even when i am having a really bad day...

but more and more it seems that the more i WORK on myself, on being happy and accepting myself, the more attrition it seems i face from strangers. of course, this is not 100% of the time -- smiling and being helpful to others feels wonderful and it goes a long way. but GEEZUS what is wrong with people in general?

it seems like 50% of the people i deal with on a daily basis (i'm in sales) whether they are potential or existing customers or just bystanders are simply rude, crude or bummed out.

when i go out to bars, there are those people -- i don't know where they come from -- who sneer or evil eye me. i NEVER do that! i want to know, how does a person who does that really feel inside? what does it feel like to be THAT jealous? i'm assuming this IS in fact jealousy.

why can't people just fix themselves instead of being jealous haters?! i have had my terrible, tough bouts in life just like anyone else. but the more in control and the happier i feel, the more bad energy i feel from other people.

is it just me? can anyone add to this? why are people so threatened by what they SEE instead of what they KNOW?

If this happens ALOT I would wonder what I was doing to bring this on.

I'm not sure people are threatened by your incredible beauty. Perhaps it may be an attitude thing.

I live in LA, have worked in the film business...seen alot of gorgeous people. Some related to others wonderfully, some did not.

Just MHO.

[Barby]

I'm saying, maybe your looks or stuff aren't better at all, you just think they are. Maybe what people are turned off by is your attitude.

Exactly what i was thinking. BUT if indeed you are nice and respectful to others and don't act like you think you are better than them then just ignore it when they act rude. If you are genuine and nice then you know you're in the right. If they don't like you or give you the time of day then it's their wrongness and loss now isn't it?

I think people generally have a bad additude towards people they perceive as fake or materialistic. I think any woman that I see wearing a sh*t load of makep, a blouse that costs more than it would to feed a small village, with her hair obviously having been done within the last two weeks at what I'm sure was a very expensive salon, her nails perfectly manicured, with her matching prada purse and shoes, and an air of condesention about her, is pathetic. I think a man who drives around in a car that costs more than most peoples houses, wearing equally as expensive clothing and shoes, with his cell phone attached to his ear, who flaunts his Visa Platinum to attract women, and has an air of condesention about him, is pathetic.

Again agreed. If you must cover or surrond yourself in such lavish, expensive, attention seeking items (these expensive things are bought and worn/displayed obviously so others will know you have them)...you must be afraid that w/out them you aren't much. (not you but people in general).

[binkelstein]

i have noticed a couple things about myself. i am, when i choose to be, what i call "upper-cute." not beautiful but pretty. i'm very approachable (i'm a journalist, it's my job to be approachable) and i love talking to people. however, some women, usually the competitive types, don't take to me.

i thought it was the way i looked for a long, long time. perhaps even some of it is. however, it was called to my attention eventually that my approachability is interpreted as serious flirtiness, which sometimes offends people. in fact, i had dinner with a high school boyfriend the other night, who i hadn't seen in years, and later he said "god, i was just getting a serious vibe off you like you were about to take my clothes off and ride me ragged." which was about the farthest thing from my mind. go figure. so there is THAT aspect.

also, from men as well as women, most notably a couple of guys i dated, i noticed a tendency to tear me down, work wise. i.e. "oh, you're not THAT important, surely" or "wouldn't you have more recognition if you were that good at your job?" and so forth. i have since quit that job but at the time i was a network anchor, not to be catty but that's about as successful as i could have gotten in that field, so i can only conclude that they were intimidated.

however, i've never really gotten the evil eye or bad vibes in bars or places like that except maybe from one or two people who probably thought i was a boyfriend-stealer. that could be attitude or perception on your parts.

just my 2 cents.