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Ex-gf is having affair with her boss at work... should I let his wife know...

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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 8th November 2004, 3:37 PM   #1
chicothechimp
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Angry Ex-gf is having affair with her boss at work... should I let his wife know...

Why do I want to tell that wife that these two have been getting together, emailing, messaging and phoning more and more the past 4 months? It seems likely that sexual copulation has also occured after work between them. I cannot divulge my source but it is extremely reliable.

Obviously I am pissed off so I would have to admit that that revenge would have part of my motivation.

But I honestly have to say that I am deeply offended that this married man/father of two would be polluting his marriage bond with this kind of moronic behavior. What in the world my ex-gf is thnking is beyond me. They obviously connect conversationally. But everyone knows that getting involved with your boss is the stupidest thing you can imagine. She (and he) will be fired at some point.

I have the husband's email & home address, phone number and fax number. I could send the wife a few documents from her husband to this chick that CLEARLY address that this is not a friendship any longer. If this thing is snuffed earlier isn't it more likely that they can heal from this? As much as I would like to cave his skull in with a pipe some days, I do want him to get his $hit together with his wife again. He should be giving all the attention he gives to my ex-gf to his wife instead.

How do the rest of you deal with it when your ex behaves likes a whore and yet you know you love her and would be willing to work **** out but you know that getting on with your life is most important at this point? THis no sleep thing is literally driving me crazy. If she hadn't told me she loved me right up until the last day (let alone sleep with me and have sex and talk pretty openly) things would have been much cleaner for a break. She flew away rather than fight and work $hit out. She has never been a quitter her whole life... why now?

I am having a tough day. Thanks for letting me vent. I still can't believe I trusted her as much as I did.

This message board has literally prevented me from doing things Iknow I would regret deeply. Thank you all so very much for opening your wounds for me to see as well.




Chico
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Old 8th November 2004, 3:43 PM   #2
jcweik
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If you do tell his wife, what will that do? Will that bring your ex back to you? Would you even want her back after you know about this?


I'm thinking you are thinking that if you tell his wife, That you will get your exgf back. That might not happen.
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Old 8th November 2004, 3:45 PM   #3
savethedrama4allama
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I am thinking its not your place or your business.
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Old 8th November 2004, 3:56 PM   #4
chicothechimp
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Question I actuallt think it would cement her never coming back

I think she would know it was me who clued in the wife... I could care less at this stage about getting back together... what fries my butt is this married man dicking around on his wife and kids.

I have NEVER pursued a married women. It seems likes such a straight forward item that no one had to tell me more than once how wrong it is. Obviously other people see/act differently.

If my ex did call and want to see me again? I would be very cool and discerning about things... but I would give it a chance. Why? Many of you may think it naive/foolish but I believe in radical forgiveness and grace... this doesn't mean being blind and getting screwed over a second time... it simply means that when we stop being wiling to forgive people that we may be writing them off of the very radical tenacious mercy that would heal them and see them act different. I am going to have to work out my **** with whoever I marry. Her's, too. This past women has many tremendous qualities and I still love who she is and could become. I know how stranghe this may hit some. I just see radical forgiveness in that Jesus dude and I have to say that his whole vibe and gig seemed right on the mark (despite the church-ianity that came afterwards). Forgiveness leads to healing and coming to terms with $hit. Sooner or later it happens.

Well, I'm moving forward but I have left her an open door to chat at any point in the future. I do not believe that whole feeling people jump into affairs. Who doesn't feel messed up and screwed up. Some act on it far worse than others.

All the best to ya.


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Old 8th November 2004, 3:57 PM   #5
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Ex-gf is having affair with her boss at work... should I let his wife know..?

No.
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Old 8th November 2004, 3:59 PM   #6
tiki
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Don't do it, it's not your place. Get over it.

I do hope she soon finds out through another source though.
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Old 8th November 2004, 4:00 PM   #7
ltomlinson81
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Don't get involved. Let her figure out her own mistakes. Move on and forget about her.
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Old 8th November 2004, 4:05 PM   #8
morrigan
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Re: I actuallt think it would cement her never coming back

Quote:
Originally posted by chicothechimp
This past women has many tremendous qualities and I still love who she is and could become. I know how stranghe this may hit some. I just see radical forgiveness in that Jesus dude and I have to say that his whole vibe and gig seemed right on the mark (despite the church-ianity that came afterwards). Forgiveness leads to healing and coming to terms with $hit. Sooner or later it happens.
Which is exactly why it's better for both you and her that you stay out of her tremendously foolish affair. Have no contact with your ex. Feel bad for the man's wife, but stay out of it. See that both you and her made mistakes when you were together, accept what went wrong, and try to focus on improving your life.
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Old 8th November 2004, 4:40 PM   #9
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Just remember what goes around comes around. That's far better revenge than any thing you could ever do. Plus it's makes you the classy one.
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Old 8th November 2004, 6:31 PM   #10
chicothechimp
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thanks for the feedback...

... the only thing I should have clarrified is that it was her getting this job and then having her boss lavish this attention on her that precipitated the break-up between she and I. She poured out more and more to him... and had none left for me.

A word to the wise: head your conscience/instinct when you think that your significant other is spending too much time with anothewr man. Here is the irony in the situation: I asked her why she was spending time with him and she said that things were safe because he was married and not single so I had no reason to be worried. Yeah, riiiiiiiiggght... that one I will never buy into again.

Trying to get over this ****in mess... thanks again all.




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Old 8th November 2004, 11:50 PM   #11
Mr Spock
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Re: Ex-gf is having affair with her boss at work... should I let his wife know...

Quote:
Originally posted by chicothechimp
Why do I want to tell that wife that these two have been getting together, emailing, messaging and phoning more and more the past 4 months? It seems likely that sexual copulation has also occured after work between them. I cannot divulge my source but it is extremely reliable.

Obviously I am pissed off so I would have to admit that that revenge would have part of my motivation.

But I honestly have to say that I am deeply offended that this married man/father of two would be polluting his marriage bond with this kind of moronic behavior. What in the world my ex-gf is thnking is beyond me. They obviously connect conversationally. But everyone knows that getting involved with your boss is the stupidest thing you can imagine. She (and he) will be fired at some point.

I have the husband's email & home address, phone number and fax number. I could send the wife a few documents from her husband to this chick that CLEARLY address that this is not a friendship any longer. If this thing is snuffed earlier isn't it more likely that they can heal from this? As much as I would like to cave his skull in with a pipe some days, I do want him to get his $hit together with his wife again. He should be giving all the attention he gives to my ex-gf to his wife instead.

How do the rest of you deal with it when your ex behaves likes a whore and yet you know you love her and would be willing to work **** out but you know that getting on with your life is most important at this point? THis no sleep thing is literally driving me crazy. If she hadn't told me she loved me right up until the last day (let alone sleep with me and have sex and talk pretty openly) things would have been much cleaner for a break. She flew away rather than fight and work $hit out. She has never been a quitter her whole life... why now?

I am having a tough day. Thanks for letting me vent. I still can't believe I trusted her as much as I did.

This message board has literally prevented me from doing things Iknow I would regret deeply. Thank you all so very much for opening your wounds for me to see as well.




Chico
No, you don't get to tell because it would hurt his WIFE which you have absolutely no right to do.

You get to shut up, and move on.
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Old 9th November 2004, 12:00 AM   #12
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Re: Re: Ex-gf is having affair with her boss at work... should I let his wife know...

Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Spock

No, you don't get to tell because it would hurt his WIFE which you have absolutely no right to do.

You get to shut up, and move on.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH MR. SPOCK!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 9th November 2004, 9:36 AM   #13
Innocntlissy1981
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this is none of ur businesss dont get invoilved!!sounds toi me like u just want them tio break it of so you can have her.defintly stay out of it.what gos around comes around and she will ghet her own back!!
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Old 16th November 2004, 3:44 PM   #14
Charlane
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WAIT A MINUTE! Is anyone remembering about the wife? Doesn't she deserve the truth? All else aside, her husband is a bastard at this moment and she should have a clue as to his actions. TELL HER. If you can do it anonymously, then it's far better for you but she deserves to know. If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't you want to know?
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