[Angelpie]

Hi again,
I posted before about ending 3 friendships with my friends Jane, Ann and Gordon and you guys were great so I thought I would send you an update.

I had talked to a mutual friend about Ann and said I was worried about her blaming herself for everything that happened. And I asked her if she could pass a message along to Ann to tell her what happened was not her fault.

I got an email tonight from Ann. It was sweet and she apologized and told me that they all really missed me especially Jane. She also said that everything was her fault (from my point of view it was Jane's fault not Ann's) and that she hadn't written before because she was afraid that I would throw out her emails. Basically it just said that they miss me and that she was sorry for everything that happened.

I know that this rift that is between us can't be fixed with a simple email and that this can't take back the pain that they caused me (or the pain I caused them) but I wrote back and told her the reasons I was so hurt and angry. And told her how sad I am that everything happened the way it did. I also told her that I missed them too. I gave her my new phone number and left it at that. It took me almost an hour to write that short email. I was very unsure of my feelings...I was touched, sad, hopeful, angry and scared.

Their friendships meant so much to me and I have missed them daily since this whole thing started. I don't know if the trust can be rebuilt or if I want to try. I know that I miss them horribly and that I still love them despite the last few months. But I cant leave things the way they are. I need closure and I need to be able to get past this one way or another.

Anyways I just thought I would update you all and thank you again for your insight and patience with my venting