I would like to know who will be sending an ex,who broken-up with them a "Happy Thanksgiving" or a "Merry Christmas" card this. I know i want be sending my ex anything,because i don't want to break the no contact that i being doing with my ex. I think that when we send something to our ex after they dump us or broken-up. We are telling them that they still have us on a string like a puppet.
Men when it come to our exes,we need to stop handing our exes our balls and power over to them. When we do this........we making it clear to them that we are wussies,wimpy cry babies. Women can't stand,nor will they respect a weak cry-baby man. Never cry or wear your heart on your sleeve,if u going to cry......cry at home man and do the no-contact thing and when your ex see how strong u are again...then they will get second thought.......and might decide to come back to you. That go for u to ladies,if your exes have broken up with you.
When will we ever learn that they will never come back if u keep contacting them,and why are u chasing after something that left u. Also,why would u want to remain a friend only with an ex,and if u see a dog in the neighbor and u been feeding this dog for a while,and then one day this dog bite u in the behind..... would u keep on feeding it. Come on now,let's start having respect for ourselves and start being a fool for our exes. Then u wonder why they don't want to come back to us,by the way we are acting.
I know some men and women don't want to know the truth and that why so many are in hot water with their exes. Don't worry be happy......I promise in due time,if u follow the no-contact thing 100%......that mean no contact whatsoever,no cards,no phone-call,text or e-mail,no visiting and no driving by the house or work.
when u do this......then they will beginning to start to miss u,and then they will start to make an effort to come to come back............Be Bless!!!!!
I for sure am not sending my EX ANYTHING. I get off easy cause our 2 year woudl have been this holiday. But I do have to see her at my firms Holiday party. Which is of course at...................her fathers house, the executive attorney at my firm, Oh what mess that should be! I cannot not go because I would burn my connections for law school and further employment. Why do girls make decsions based on emotion and not logically thinking crap through?
Well I decided I am going to send my ex a thanksgiving card. I am actually going to go old school on this card and be like a kindergarten and trace a turkey out of my hand and say "Smile, Happy Turkey lurkey day" -Nick. Thats all, no I love you, no I think about you, no love dovey crap. Why say that, when I am actually showing it and being funny at the same time. Look, I am not going to beat around the bushes anymore. I do want to keep contact, 2.5 years and then forget about the other person, pretty absurd if you ask me. Point is, I am not going to be manipulating either, just be plain and simple. Its been 2 months, a month of NC and by the time thanksgiving comes around, it will be 2 months of NC. I am pretty strong now and even if no reply comes along, I am still goign to move on with my life but I still send out the small things in life to remind her.
__________________
"Keep the Faith, even if the odds are against you"
Last edited by Nick14; 5th November 2004 at 11:22 AM..
Well, my ex's parents live right down the road from me. Most likely I'll hang out with her over the holidays. She mentioned when should get together on Thanksgiving.
I was considering giving her a letter because I still have alot to say to her, but I'm not sure if I should. I haven't been doing No Contact, but I haven't been contacting her TOO much. The thing is, it actually seems to be working. When we last talked she sounded much more like she was missing me. She said she missed me, she said she knows this will work out because we were always different than most couple. She also adivsed me to stop talking to you guys because you guys tell me I should stop calling her ! =) She was joking, and I wouldn't stop talking to you fine people anyway ! But I do think she definitely still has feelings for me. So, I'm not sure if I should send her this letter. If my casual attitidue seems to be working, I should probably stick with it. But at the same time, there's alot I still need to say.
So I don't know what I'll do. At least I get to see her. I'm excited.
Good on you UR. Ya, see this is exactly what i am trying to do, but obviously i guess I have to reinitiate it, when I know i shouldn't cause she walked out on me. Doesn't mean I am going to stop trying, but it does mean, all the lovey dovey shyt I use to put on how I feel about her after the break up, is not going to be brought up anymore. So, I guess its something new i am doing and how it should of been after the break-up. Like my sig says below, i am most difently the under-dog in this, but then again, who would of thought a bunch of idiots like Boston(I Love the Red Sox) would beat NY and also win a World series. Guess just goes to show a real example of "keeping the faith" can work, just don't manipulate that person though.
See, I think people are too dogmatic with their rules on this site at times. People take these rules as the word or God.
For example, No Contact. No contact is a great theory and it seems to be effective. The thing is, it isn't for everyone. If she tells you to get lost, she doesn't want to see you anymore, that's one thing, that's a clear message. But if she is telling you there is still feelings and that she needs space but still wants you in her life, then there is no reason to never contact her again. She'll feel hurt and she'll feel like you didn't care as much. In my situation, I know she wants to see me but she doesn't want to ask me to come over because she is so worried about hurting me. She doesn't want me to misinterpret her invitation as a sign that we're getting back together. I know that she does that and I know that if I swallow my pride and ask her to hang out that it will make us both happy.
Nick, there is nothing wrong with showing her you care about her. I think the problem starts when people start looking pathetic, when they start talking about how they can't live without her and things like that. It's really a matter of common sense. See, I know my ex still cares, so I tell her things like I'm thinking about her and that I miss her. At the same time, I know she doesn't want to see me as pathetic or dperessed, she wants me to be strong, so when I tell her I miss her I don't do it in a "I miiiiiiiis you baby, come back" type of way. It's more of a "I miss you more than anything, but I'll be fine without you" kind of way. That's the key, letting them know that you want them back but at the same time let them know you'll be happy with or without them.
I'll admit, I was pretty pathetic and what not, during the month of september (right after the breakup). I think now I am strong where I can actually send cards and show her I do still care and etc.., its going to take awhile tell she can actually realize that and start actual contact.
I dont think there is anything wrong with a person sending a card or whatever to their ex during the holidays if that is what they want to do.
Last year when I was not talking to my ex I sent her a merry xmas email and we chatted for a couple mins via an IM program after she read the card...that was the first time we had talked in 8 months. We now are back on talking terms but that didn't come about until a couple months ago.
Yep, I'll be the first to admit to what wierd said. Its goint to be a slow process, I can tell. You gotta be really delicate with a situation like this, sort of like a SWAT Mission. One screw up and your back at square 1.
Location: Heaven won't take me, and hell's afraid I'll take over
Posts: 5,703
Quote:
Originally posted by naive_2001
I will not be sending my ex anything!
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. I always like to send my EX the same thing for every special occassion and holiday.. a big box of Jack**** Nothing!
It just always says exactly how I feel about him!
__________________
Don't be mad at me when I'm mad at you.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
would u keep on feeding it. Come on now,let's start having respect for ourselves and start being a fool for our exes. Then u wonder why they don't want to come back to us,by the way we are acting.
Linear Mode
