[femme]

Note: This is long, so please bear with me.

I've been in a LDR for the past 7 months and happily engaged. (We've known each other for a few years, though.) Everything's been great, but since the last month or so I've become very very depressed. I've started doubting my fiance, and feel like i'll end up being hurt by him, despite his constant attention, love and care. We talk everyday for at least 2 to 3 hours (on the phone), and chat online a lot as well. I've become increasingly cranky, and although, I hate myself for it, I can't seem to control it. I just feel like crying all the time (and a lot of times I do.) My fiance is trying to be really supportive and keeps asking me to talk to him and tell him how I feel. But at times I get so frustrated and upset that I wanna tell him to leave me alone.

I love him a lot, but when I'm feeling this way, I don't want ANYTHING in the world...not even to be with him. I just want to be left alone or maybe just die. I hate putting him through this, and most of all, I hate going through this myself. There's something inside me that wants to scream and yell, and I just want to get it out.

He says, all he wants is for me to be happy and keep sharing my feelings with him. He doesn't want to see my sad...and wants to know that he makes me happy (which he does most of the time.) I know there are a lot of other issues that have become a factor in me feeling this way, but I just don't know how to stop this behaviour. I get really really moody (and it gets worse when I'm PMS'ing ...like right now.) I feel alone, though I'm surrounded by people at work and at home, and when I'm out by myself, I'm on the phone with my fiance. Why do i feel alone then?

I just want to be happy like I was when our relationship first started...and even the way we were before we were in a 'relationship'. We used to laugh a lot. We still do, but it doesn't seem to make me positive anymore. I'm worried I'll push him away sooner or later. Despite all this, I still can't imagine not being with him. So, breaking up is not even an option. Should we take a break? Should I see a doctor, or should I try anti-depressants? (I've suffered from severe depression a few times in the past and have taken medication for it.)

[SoleMate]

Depression is like a nuclear bomb on relationships, and life in general. Yes, you absolutely should see a qualified psychiatrist and ask about depression and treatment options, including antidepressants and other types of therapy. I would put the LDR on standby for a month or two while you stabilize your mood - just let your bf know that you are getting treatment.