Okay, I have a problem. My brother has been dating this ****ing psycho bitch in Toronto for a year now, and it just gets worse with her every ****ing day, and I really need to get him to get rid of her, but I don't know how to make him see it.
For anyone who doubts my assesment of "psycho bitch", here are some of the things she's done:
* When my brother (let's call him "J") went out to the movies one night with his friend Dave, she ("S") called 40 times in the span of 2 hours, and left 12 messages, saying that she's going to kill him for sleeping around with his secret girlfriend (which he doesn't have). She does this every time he goes out. Literally.
* When J was at a club in Toronto, talking to a record promoter, who happened to be a woman, S came up to the woman and punched her in the face. She doesn't let J talk to other women.
* When they "broke up" one time, she wrote e-mails to every single record label my brother was trying to get signed to and started telling them how he was a liar, a thief, and a rapist.
* Every time they break up (which, by the way, averages 4 times a week), she tells her friends that he raped her and gave her STD's. (He had himself checked last week and showed me the results, he's 100% clean).
* Whenever he adds a friend to his livejournal who happens to be a female, she flips out and breaks up with him.
* She seriously cannot remember how many people she's slept with. Her parents once admitted to him that it's probably in the hundreds.
* He spent over 2 weeks making her a handmade anniversary card for their first anniversary. She tore it up and burned it less than a week after he gave it to her, and took scissors and destroyed his blanket, which my sister made for him.
* She got drunk, stole his wallet, and tried stabbing him with a knife. This prompted me to run up to toronto and try to find him (found him sleeping at the Bay Street Bus Station at 4am), since he had no money, nowhere to stay, and couldn't legally come back to the USA because she stole his license and tore it up.
* She somehow hacked into his computer and deleted months worth of music that he wrote.
* She likes pain. She loves mutilating herself in disgusting ways, such as inserting metal hooks into her body and suspending herself from a ceiling, "enjoying the pain".
Every single time, he takes her back when she apologizes. Every ****ing time. I just want to kill him sometimes. He says he loves her and that they're meant to be together.
HOW THE HELL DO I CONVINCE HIM THAT HE'S WRONG?!!
Right now, she's called abour 50 times tonight. When I took the phone off the hook, she got into his AIM account and messaged me, saying that he'd better pick up the phone or she's going to destroy my digital camera. God knows why he took it to her place and left it there, the ****ing moron.
GAHHHH.
*having a hard time believing that not every woman on the planet is psycho*
And double Yikes to your brother for continuing to go back with her. He must really like the drama because I find it hard to believe that any kind of sex would be worth this much hassle!
I don't know that there is much you can do. I can only guess that you've told him a million and one times what a psycho she is.
He's going to have to decide for himself to end this.
And maybe you should step back from him & all this drama until he does.
Originally posted by WWDDFD
HOW THE HELL DO I CONVINCE HIM THAT HE'S WRONG?!!
If everything you have said above is true, and this guy still does not know, I think there is no convincing him. I think this man is a hopeless case, and I feel for him.
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*having a hard time believing that not every woman on the planet is psycho*
I have been there as well, just as women have been in an opposite, yet similar position. There are a lot of loonies out there, but not everyone is a loonie.
This girl sounds as if she may be seriously psychotic or delusional - possibly schizophrenic. Psychiatric treatment should be a twice-weekly event for her. If you can get your brother to take her to a doctor, it may make an improvement.
Quote:
I really need to get him to get rid of her, but I don't know how to make him see it.
I would be just as scared as you are, considering how violent and destructive she is. However, the more you attack her, the more he will be forced into the position of defending her, and also concealing her behavior to reduce your attacks. This is dangerous to him. He need to have you and other family members as a "safe haven" when, some night at 3 am, she comes after him with a butcher knife. So, keep your relationship with your brother strong, and keep talking to him, but DON'T criticize her. Just encourage some psychiatric treatment, in a caring way. As in, "I think Jessica might feel a lot better with just a little medication to help her manage her moods. Let's take care of her so she doesn't hurt herself."
Oh, wait...I just re-read more carefully, and she has already come after him with a knife. He survived, Lord be praised. You may want to talk to the ER psych docs and describe her behavior. The knife and the hooks should make it fairly easy to get her into emergency treatment. Have you ever talked to her parents? Would they participate in getting her inside?
I know you want to scream at him, "DUMP HER!!!", but you have already tried that repeatedly, and it hasn't worked. So don't repeat the things that haven't worked - try something different.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
I really think that there is no convincing your brother. The only possibility I can think of is telling him that FOR HER OWN GOOD she needs help and trying to convince him of that. Because she certainly needs help, and he is just enabling her by going along with it.
Unfortunately, only your brother can get rid of her, and when he decides it is time. Even then it'll be a struggle (check out some of my old threads).
When he is ready, he WILL have to change his telephone numbers, AIM name, livejournal name, EVERYTHING because she'll just break back in. Its obvious she has nothing better to do! Help him be extremely careful to think of all possible ways she can get in touch/break into crap/mess up his life and be proactive about changing these aspects so she can not succeed. That would have made a lot of difference in my situation.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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