break to break-up now she emails me every couple of days - what should i do?

alwaysrunnin · 21st October 2004, 11:59 PM

you can see my situation here (basically she needed her time, i pushed it, she broke up with me, couldn't stand to keep hurting me bs):

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...?postid=331844

thing is, she is keeping in touch now...an email every couple of days, and i respond a day after or a little earlier. make no mention of our past, or who or if she is with anyone now. i would like to try to work things out, so i don't want to be a punk and not respond to her emails. is it a good idea to keep this up, for a little while at least, and see where things go? the thing is, i DONT want to be just friends with this girl, and i dont want her to get that message by keeping up just friendly emails, but at the same time, i know i can't push feelings back down her throat...so maybe the best thing to do is just roll with it, do my thing and hope she falls for me again, and see what happens? or should i just cut her out of the loop completely, then hope she finally calls when i stop emailing her back? i know there is no one answer but hey...my friends are getting sick of hearing about my woman problems

thanks yall, and yes i'm movin on but i do believe in second chances...

Weird · 22nd October 2004, 12:35 AM

Well, this is a tough one. If it was later down the line then I would say do the email thing but since you two broke up recently it may be hard for you to "play along" with the friendly email thing and may end in you feeling worse than you do now.

I say you just tell her you wish to have your own space away from her so you can think about some stuff and can work on some personal shortcomings that you realized you had during/after the breakup. If she has a problem with that then she is being selfish and may be trying to string you along by giving you some mixed signals or something.

alwaysrunnin · 22nd October 2004, 3:03 PM

thanks...well, its been 3 weeks to this day since we broke up (I can't believe its been that long already) but only 1.5 weeks since I stopped trying to convince her, pursue her, etc...and since then i've gotten these two emails. the last time i spoke to her, after our real break 1.5 weeks ago, i told her i didnt expect her to come running back, but to contact me whenever she is more open to trying to work things out, whenever she is thinking/missing me. her emails are chill, nice... but there is no flirtation in them whatsoever. oh well - but i dont expect that right away either. it wont hurt me to email her for a little more and see where things go, i'm pretty much over it now, it only hurts when i think of the "would'ves" and "could'ves"but as long as i keep busy those don't come to mind much... but i know i could love this girl again in a heartbeat if she did come back...

alwaysrunnin · 24th October 2004, 10:49 AM

anyone else? its sunday now, and i haven't emailed her back since i got her last email thursday nite...dont want to turn her off, but dont want to lead her to believe that i'm clingy...

rapiscan · 24th October 2004, 11:16 AM

Yes, I have a suggestion.

Quote:

Originally posted by Weird
I say you just tell her you wish to have your own space away from her so you can think about some stuff and can work on some personal shortcomings that you realized you had during/after the breakup.

I somewhat agree with this, but I think you should take it a step further. I think you should be completely honest with her. You should tell her that you care about her very much, and that you really enjoy the e-mails and communicating with her in general. However, your feelings for her are still strong, and you're not sure that it's good for either of you. I think you should write it in a way that opens honest dialogue, not ends communication entirely. Ask for her thoughts and advice, explaining that her opinion is very important to you.

I really have no room to be giving advice, but here it is nonetheless.