[Coffeegirl31]

I'm pretty new at this whole "3 person relationship" (only about 4 months) and it is overwhelming! I'm not sure if my problem is with the Ex, or the boyfriend, or both. He has a 2 yr old with her and says their relationship was over before the baby was born. He waited to tell her about me until about a month ago and since then it has been nothing but drama. She says hurtful things to him tells him how she was still in love with him and how she wishes that the 3 of them could just be a happy family together. Because of these things (and depending on her mood), she doesnt always let him see the baby on his appointed days. She says under no circumstances am I supposed to be around their little boy, because it would just make her sick.

In the mean time, I've never physically spoken to this woman, or seen her in person. It irritated me that he kept me a secret for so long. It irritates me still that he takes those hurtful things she says to heart and lets her affect his mood and ultimately affect our relationship together. He says he loves me deeply, and more than he thought was possible to love another human being, but at the same time it feels like she still rules his world. Hes always checking her online journal (daily, if not more than once) and talking about what she has to say. He never really mentions to her anything about me, and so it kind of makes me feel like he denies our relationship.

I just want this to be dealt with. Should I talk to this woman (even though my boyfriend tells me not to answer the phone when she calls, or to even make any noise in the background)? I've tried telling him how I feel, and clearly, it has not done anything to change the situation. I dont know how much longer I can be the "bigger person". Any advice or ettiquette tips?[font=arial][/font]