[darzarecta]

Can you help please?

I’m trying to decipher why I have a hard time telling my girlfriend what I really mean. Like for instance, last night, it was around 10:30 and I had planned to go to the gym before work the next morning (every other night around this time we usually end the conversation).

So, earlier in the evening around 9:00pm I asked what she was up to for the night and she said she’s probably going to go to the gym since she didn’t make it there today. Noticing the time (10:30), instead of just telling her that it’s late and I should probably go to bed (effectively ending the conversation because I want to go to bed) I said “Do you want me to let you go so you can go to the gym?” like I’m doing her a favor? You know what I mean?

The real fact is that I want to let her go so I’m refreshed when 5:00am rolls around, not that I’m concerned that it’s 10:30pm and our gym closes at 12:00am (so she was already cutting her workout short).

This is just one example but this applies to almost all of my relationships. I’ll not say something if I know it’ll make them feel bad, sad or angry.

This isn’t healthy for my relationships with her and I know the answer is within me to open up and tell her how I really feel. If it keeps this way I’ll form some sort of resentment towards her that is going to boil over.

just tell her....relationships are about open communication....compromise....you have a routine that is important to you, and if she is important to you you will share what goals you have...getting to the gym and work ontime!

[MadKurlz]

you have to communicate. how do you expect for her to know this if you dont tell her straight out. She's not a mind reader.