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Dang It!!!
ok this is really confusing me and making me kinda mad.......the things is 2 days ago me and this girl whom i've known for about a year..were just talking.....it progressed to the fact that she finally realized how much i loved her...she was like " you really love me dont you...like you would do anything for me" i said yes of course....the she says, " you know what....i do like you.....i think i was just afraid to admit it" she has said this twice now.....the first time i asked her about it like 3 nights after she said it...and she just said i dont know.i mean we were talking about alot of things...like if we were married, what i would do for her and stuff,kids and alot of other things
now yesterday me, her, my sister and her sister are hanging out, we decide to watch the exorcist....the girl i like (i will call her k) was saying to me, "your gonna have to hold me, this really freaks me out" ok cool.....so were are sitting there really close, then she says ok hold me....i put my arm around her lower back.....the she asked me this " are you prude?.....if not prove it" so i think for a minute.....then i put my hand on her belly....then k pressures me into feeling her up....so i did it.....then after the movie we all go to the mall....do some stuff there....then go back to my house and watch another movie...
oh yea....now heres the thing...throughout the day she is saying funny things, like i sit down on the couch, she looks at me, and says "your really turning me on....." i was happy about that.......i just smiled and didnt say anything....
ok anyway....so we are watching the second movie.....near the end....she is sitting close to me again...its dark got a few ppl watching with us....im shaking my leg..cuz im thirsty but dont want to miss anything.....she's like "are you trying to tickle me?..i said no...then she whispers to me "are you a good tickler?" and i said...i guess so.....then i told her some girls are ticklish on the inner thigh....she says "im not ticklish there but i am up here...." she points to the top of her chest....shes like telling me to tickle her there......i wasnt going to do much so i put my hand up there.....next thing i know she is telling me to move my hand down....so this goes on for about 15 minutes....now she is pressing my hand down with hers..(not gonna get into details).then we stop and she says " you know that was a once in a life time thing"......
after that i was getting a vibe about her.......my best friend told me about this...like i would be tested....and if i did go through with it....i might be crossing a line that will test the friend ship.....so now today........we are talking, i asked her if everything was cool with us.....see i was kinda hoping that it might progress from a friends ship to us dating.....she has told me that i am like her best friend.......so that was on my mind, i thought maybe i wasnt supposed to feel her up...see, k is alot of talk....she says she is not a virgin....i am willing to bet she is...says she has gotten felt up before....but when she was pressing on my hand i got the feeling that it was a first...........now before you guys think about this to much...i do love her...i was a little freaked out when she wanted me to do this.....and when i talked to her she said she was surprised that i did it.....but im not a perv.....and i want to make that clear to her.....ANYWAY....so today (when she told me she was surprised) she just didnt seem to be talkative today....im asking her why, asking her if she is disapointed with me....and she says "your way to serious about stuff....your always asking if im mad at out...." also she was insisting that feeling her up was a test.......i dont care about that i would be just really happy holding her around the waist during a movie........................now she is acting funny.....saying...you want to marry me....how do you know im the right one for you....i mean you want to spend the rest of your life with me.....and i want to get married and spend the rest of my life with somone im comfortible with.......i asked her about all the things she said 2 nights ago ...about liking me and stuff...she didnt want to talk about it...now i realize this....she talked like she didnt want to be with someone who is prude.....i prove that i am not.....it seems to me like she wants someone who kinda is but at same time not....my friend says that he thinks she doesnt know what prude really is........i dont iether i guess
like.......her meaning is, someone is a prude if they dont like to touch or be touched.......my friend says there is that and then being a real prude, which he thinks she is being....what does that mean......i really want to save this thing.........i dont know if im leaving anything out........help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
probably not a good thing to talk about marrige......but........she was talking about it first....she is 15 and im 17 and she was talking about getting married at 18........please ask questions......i want to figure this whole thing through......maybe in the last two days she really was starting to like me then i do the thing and now she doesnt.....i regret doing that now........
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