I am a uni student and do party drugs recreationally. I don't think it's a big deal - it doesn't interefere with my work or daily life. The majority of my friends are anti-drugs, very judgmental about anyone who is involved with that scene. I think they have realised over the years that I do go out with that crowd occasionally but I've always kept that part of my life seperate from them. Until last night...

We all went out for a girl's bday, and she had asked me to bring some coke for her to try. We knew the others wouldn't have wanted to be involved so we just did it ourselves. We mingled with everyone the whole night but occasionally dissapeared to do a line. I guess I was stupid to think that they wouldn't have suspected. But I heard this morning that everyone was talking about us and suspecting us of doing drugs in the bathrooms. No one has confronted us yet, which surprises me, but the dynamics of the entire group have shifted.

Whether drugs are right or wrong is not the issue here. I think everyone has the right to make up their own mind. I just hate to think that my friends will think differently of me now. I think it was disrespectful of me to do drugs in front of them knowing that they weren't into that. But if I apologise they will know for sure. Then again if I ignore the situation they will always assume the worst of me.

What do you think?? I value my friends so much. It's frustrating because I have never forced my opinions on them, but I know they will be so judgmental about this. Any advice?

[bluechocolate]

I'm not exactly sure what you have to apologise for. Were your friends harmed by you doing this? Were you or your friend particularily wasted to the point of embarrassment?

I can think of one friend who is an absolute beast when drunk so I don't do things with him that would lead to him being able to get drunk. If we're out & I can see that he's on the way to getting drunk, I leave. It's no big drama, he knows how I feel about it & we're still friends.

Decide what you want to say but don't mention anything until someone brings it up. I would think that if they are true friends they would express their dislike & ask you not to do drugs in their presence again & that will be the end of it.

As you know, many people have very strong feelings regarding drug use and if they are very judgemental about it, as you fear, they may decide that they no longer want you as a friend.

[Swanny]

u shouldn't really care about what ur friends think about what u do for fun!
just so long as u r happy! thats all they should care about!
but when u start hurting urself, thats when its ok to step in... u will proberly never know when u start hurting urself but ur friends sure will....

just let them have their say from time to time... but dont get upset with them for saying what they think...

[Bea77]

I think you need help.
It sounds like your friends are upset that you are doing drugs, and I think they have every right to be. When you watch someone destroy themselves like you are, it is very upsetting.
You may not think you have a problem now, but coke is very addictive, and it is a gateway to other drugs.
It is only a matter of time before you begin to use it more and more.
Please, see someone you trust about this problem that can help you. Your friends may not be able to because they are emotionally involved. Is there a teacher or counselor you trust? Maybe you can tell your parents. They may be pissed at first, but they love you and will want to help you

[morrigan]

If the subject is brought up, apologize for what occured--the same way you would want a friend to apologize if they did something that was upsetting to you while you were around them. You had to have been aware that using cocaine in the bathroom would not make a lot of people happy that night.

Understand that there is concern mixed in with your friends' judgement--they don't want you to endanger yourself.

If you know that your friends have strong anti-drug sentiments don't a) use drugs around them or at any of their residences and b) realize that some of them may no longer wish to hang out with you. They don't have a right to force their beliefs on you, but neither do you have a right to force them to accept your behavior.