Not Seen, but Heard

seductress989 · 4th October 2004, 2:19 PM

Hello, everyone, I'm back with a new problem. I've been doing 100% NC for 1 week with the ex I dumped 4 months ago. It is extremely hard, but I feel like a much stronger person. Anyways, I talked to a friend of mine from my hometown today on the phone. She told me that she seen my ex talking w/ another girl. I thought this information wouldn't affect me, but when I heard it it felt like being kicked in the stomach.

I thought I was ready to move on, but now I'm visualizing scenarios in my head and it's driving me nuts. I thought I was over him. After all, I did dump him 4 months ago but I just started true NC one week ago. We did see each other after the breakup(big mistake on my part) and that didn't help anything. Can someone help me make some sense of my feelings? Why do I care if he sees anyone else since I'm seeing other people too?

disconcertainly · 4th October 2004, 4:01 PM

Time Heals everything. I know thats not much but it is so very true!

gobain · 4th October 2004, 4:34 PM

I understand, I really do.

You may be doing a good job of moving on, but that doesn't mean that the realization that HE may be moving on isn't going to sting. And confuse you too.

We want them to feel as badly as we do. We want to feel like they miss us. We always do. There is something bizarrely comforting in imagining the ex wallowing in freakish misery. There is satisfaction in it.

It's going to hurt for a bit. But I promise, it does get better. You've only done the NC for a week. You may have broken up 4 months ago, but the true moving on has only just started. In some ways, I was lucky. NC began almost immediately.

I know it hurts and I'm sorry for that. But it will get better.

Hope that helps in some way.

seductress989 · 5th October 2004, 8:18 AM

Thanx for the replies. I'm optimistic that things will get better with time. I'm just so impatient right now. I want to be over him so bad. I definitely believe he's over me or closer to it than I am.

You're right gobain, about it making me feel better to know he's missing me. I would love for him to be sad or lonely or something like that. Just to let him know what I'm going thru. I do not plan on ever contacting him again and I really wish I had of started this 4 months ago! I mean, it's about time! I would've been fine by now, I know it.

Do you think I'm doing the right thing by not ever contacting him again?