As you, and others, have mentioned, not everyone is the same. I think for some couples the relationship ended long before they admitted it to themselves & perhaps for them it is OK to begin another relationship soon after the "official" ending has been announced.
I think that they are also a lot of people who are serial-monogamists and they don't like being alone because they have issues dealing with self-esteem - ie. they don't really like themselves and look for self-affirmation from someone else (which is rather oxymoronic). If they have a partner they can't be THAT bad, can they? This type of person IS carrying around baggage & will probably never have a serious fulfilling relationship. To my mind the best relationships are between two people who know & understand who they are as individuals, who have self-love and who are happy to be alone if that is the circumstance they find themselves in. This type of person is confident & self-assured & it is precisely when you reach this point in your personal development that you become most attractive as a potential partner.
I felt guilty so I turned him down, he seemed nice enough and I was attracted to him but something inside me just felt as if it was still cheating...
Then you are not ready to be dating again. Don't force yourself - you'll end up hurt & more importantly you'll potentially be hurting an innocent 3rd party.
Quote:
from backspn
If you start dating another guy then your ex will know that its time to move on.
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Maybe this isn't what you meant exactly, but you don't start dating other people simply so that your ex will know that you have moved on. That shows little regard for the feelings of the person you're beginning to date. There are loads & loads of posts here from people who have starting seeing someone new only to then discover that that persons ex is still very much a part of their lives and many of these people find themselves hurt & devestated to be used in this manner.
Of course one can always start dating soon after a breakup as long as they are honest about what they're looking for and not looking for.
"I've just ended a relationship & I'm not ready to be serious with someone yet but I think that I like you & am willing to pursue a new friendship at this time if you are.". I know it sounds terribly prescriptive but I think that most people would prefer that someone was honest & upfront about these things from the beginning rather than finding this out 2 or 3 months down the line.
What did SHE just say (and she said it out loud)?!?
Love is an easy word to say.
Make him prove it with his actions.
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