[gwennebe]

I'm curious to see if anyone else ever feels this way. Why is it that guys that I find myself very attracted to or have great chemistry with never work out or are not that into me but then I meet guys that I don't feel as much of an attraction for and they are into me but I'm not that into them? WTF? Is this normal or do I just have bad luck? Is there really a such thing as a perfect match out there or do you just eventually get sick of everything and just settle? Do you give up searching for the "one". How do you know the right one exists? I'm so sick of trying.

Another question I have is I guess for the guys. What do you think about a girl going to a bar by herself? Is it a good thing like "wow! She must be independant and interesting" or does it look desperate? I just moved to a new town and don't have any friends yet so I must venture out and about solo.

Thanks everyone!!

[Jilly10340]

OMG!!! I now exactly how you feel! I was actually just in this situation. Dated a guy who really liked me but wasn't into him. Moved on to hot guy who I really liked and he turned out to be a jerk!

Yeah, what's up with that?

My boyfriend was just saying last night that in the past if he was attracted to someone, he couldn't talk to them. He could never conversate and connect well with his girlfriends. Now he has found both qualities in me.

Looking back, I wish he hadn't said that. I don't want to think of him having an intense sexual connection that was strong enough to keep him with someone for 1.5 years. That is one hell of a connection. Oh well.

Anyway, I know exactly what you mean. It seems like you either have a physical or a mental connection- rarely both. The person I'm with now I have a very strong physical connection, and a good emotional one, though sometimes the intelligent mental part is lacking...I won't lie. I'm not going to claim I'm Einstein or anything, but I regularly have to define words, etc, to him in conversation.

About going to the bar alone, be careful. Other than that, I don't think its a big deal. I imagine that you won't be alone for long, that a group of people will befriend you in no time flat.

[gwennebe]

Thanks for the replies! Maybe hot guys just know they are hot so they feel they have a right to act like jerks.

As far as the physical and mental attraction.... Why does it always seem like the physical is more important? I went out last night with the guy I'm seeing now and he is just incredibly sweet and genuine but I feel like something is missing and I don't know what to do because I would at least like to have him as a friend since I don't know too many people here yet but I'm afraid he wants more than that and would feel akward around me plus since I'm in a new town I don't want to be tied down by a relationship. ughhhhhh. Life sucks sometimes.

[Jilly10340]

I know how you feel....guys that are hot are one thing....but guys that are hot and KNOW they're hot? That's a dangerous combination.

[gwennebe]

lol. I dated a male stripper a few months back. What a pain to have to listen to him go on and on and on about how all these girls just thought he was god and how much money he made doing it. Please.. he was a sloppy kisser!! He bailed at the first sign of disagreement.