[Sunblaze13]

Hello, I'm Lily. I'm 25 yrs old and I never really posted these types of boards before. I was wondering if someone could give me advice on an outsider's point of view?

Well this all takes place within a 2 yr time frame. I started working at a bookstore 2 yrs ago and immediately I bonded with a nice group of co-workers. They were my type of people, bookworms, free spirited, into theater and etc. You don't really need to know the details. Anyway there was one person that I worked with that I totally clashed with. His name is Jake.
He is handsome, charming and just so happened to be one of those people that you immediately hate without saying two words too, well at least for me he was. I mean he was nice to everyone else always going out of his way or flirting with the other ladies, but when it came down to me he was always rude and teasing me about something.Grant I did the same back to him. I mean everyone loved this guy. Neither of us had a reason for being mean, it just was something we did to each other. I asked him one time why he hated me and he said point-blank " I just do." and walked away. We did alot of funny and horrible things to each other within my first year of working there. ( FYI ~ he is 26 and was working there three months before I started).

Within the last 6 months things started taking a different turn. It so happens that he started hanging out with one of my guy friends/co-workers and so I started to see him after work as well. Everyone in our little gang was pretty weary of having the "two vipers" as they called us in the same room with each other but for some reason we started leaving each other alone and actually started to talk normally. Eventually we actually started to be nice to each other and realized we had alot of the same things in common, though we still have our differences.
Well recently ( within the last two months) everything as turned upside down, him and I started hanging together at work alot and kind of formed a very close bond. We use our talents of mischief to bother other people instead of each other. And there was a few times when he was online and we chatted for hours and he has called me alot just to talk, sometimes even late like 2 in the morning. Theres alot of flirting between us and I am really falling for him. I recently asked him why he was so mean to me and he said " because you were always mean to me." I laughed and said " well you were always mean to me thats why I was always mean to you."

Nothing really serious has happened yet, but I could feel the heat between us when we are together. I dont know how to approach this. I am really scared, I've dated before and had one serious relationship but neither of them started out like this. It was so easy now I don't know if he just wants a friendship or a relationship, and even if he does I don't know if he wants it to be with me. From what I found out from a neutral friend, he isn't the type to just sleep around and he does comment on how he hates guys that sleeps with tons of girls and then leaves them in the dust and that he always gets clasified like that because he is a guy. I know he had a girlfriend when we first met, but apparently she is out of the picture because he didn't like her snotty attiude.

Please help me figure this out. How should I approach this?

[Merin]

Sound's like a case of opposites attracting...

I have no idea if he is interested in a relationship vs a friendship with you... sorry.

It seems that he found that he does like you as a person, and obviously he feels comfortable with you... enough to call and talk a lot right?!

Look for clues from him.... does he talk about other girls around you, or seek your opinion regarding that? does he treat you like one of the "guys"? these could both be indicators that while he likes you as a friend, he isn't interested in something more....

BUT

Does he mirror your body language?
Does he touch you (lol like on the arm) when he is speaking to you?
Does he make direct eye contact with you?
Compliment you?
NEVER talks about other girls he may have an interest in?

Could be signs of interest.....

Good Luck with it!

[Sunblaze13]

Well when everything started out with us becoming " friends" he kind of treated me just like the rest of his friends ( girls and guys alike). But since we actually have grown closer he is always seeking me out at work. We have our own little personal jokes and stuff that close friends share. And yes we do ''touch" each other alot. In some ways its kind of teasing, he is a brown belt in Goshen Jitsu ( oh I don't know if I spelled that right) so sometimes he tries to but me in headlocks or shows me a cool arm twist self defense move. And then there are times when he'll just come up behind me and hug my neck or poke my ribs. I do the same back, though I don't know if it means anything, I to do it to my friends. See he is a natural flirt, he has that ability to attract women so I don't know if its just something natural for him to do or does it mean something.

When we do chat its always something interesting and he has mentioned past relationships but never got indebt with them. But we when we do talk its about everything and he has opened up some personal info to me. Sometimes he'll point out a girl in the store and say something funny in jest of how she is hot, and I will reply with how horrible she actually looks for example. He might say " she is hot" and I'll reply " Yeah if you like footlong noses." It goes vise versa, its more a game to us then anything.

He also has invited me over to his apartment to watch movies with him. I don't know if that means he wants to have a date or he just wants a buddy to watch movies with. Seriously I can't read him, I think the only way I'll know is if I bite the bullet and ask him straight out,but I don't want to move to fast and screw everything up.

[Merin]

Well.... sounds like a wee bit of interest to me

Take it slow... I think one of the things he likes about you is the fact that you don't go ape sh*t crazy over his butt like some of the other girls

See where it goes....