The boyfriend has diabetes and recently had a mild heart attack, and lets just say that Mr Happy is not working.
And I am coping with the fact that I have not been laid for over 4 months, am I being selfish.
People have needs one of these being sex. I am so horny that I am going to explode if I dont get me some.
Masterbating and the pornos are not working. Trust me I have been there.
ANd to top it off there is a gorgeous man in my office, and he better lock his door, because HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
Please dont get me wrong, I understand the health problems, but I am who I am. I have needs too, and a very high sex drive. I cant help it.
I have been trying, and some days are better than others, but I am really needing some advice here.
Anyone having the same problems, please advise me. Please hold back on the negative comments here this is a really serious problem for me.
If this is such a problem, you should really tell your boyfriend about it if you already have not. No doubt he is just as frustrated as you are over this. If the two of you go to see a doctor, maybe you will find options which can solve this issue.
Are your bf's medical problems being adequately addressed? Is he acting as if he understands the seriousness of this problem? Have you explained how serious it is to you? Is he doing everything he can to be abel to satisfy you, and are you being fully supportive?
The desire for sex is very natural. However, expressing it can have consequences. If you must find something outside, PLEASE don't do it at work, because then you run the risk of losing your bf AND your job.
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
Thanks to the posters who are taking my problem serious.
I really am.
And no, I would never cheat on him, or jeopardize my job or his relationship. I was just stressing how very frustrated and stressed out that I was yesterday.
I love my boyfriend very much, and I know that his health is the problem,one that he can't control, no one can, not even his doctor. His doctor told us that there are things that he could take to increase his desire but in the long run it would harm his health even further. I don't want that.
Sometimes, I feel as tho I am being selfish, but really I don't think that I am.
Sex is a need that everyone has just like food and water. The doctor even told me that, so its not in my head.
I am planning on going to his doctor to get me something to decrease my urges.
Other than that, I don't know what else to do.
But I am hanging in there for now.
I'm in agreement with Mr. Spock on this one. Just because you can't have intercourse, doesn't mean you can't have any fun. There have been times where I have just NOT felt like having sex, but I'm more than happy to use my mouth and my hands to make sure my bf is still happy in the interim.
I understand your frustration totally. It's been +14 years for my husband and I.
As for health problems - especially the heart, even giving (or receiving) oral or manual stimulation can cause changes in the body and the body will release chemicals that could be harmful to the person's health.
What I did was to cry; seek counseling; cry; and eventually over the years I adjusted to it and now I don't have any desire.
Talk to your bf's doctor about this. What drugs / therapies can your bf do to help? How long does the doctor anticipate this will last? Men with diabetes have erections and can have sex, it's the heart that I worry about most. My husband has diabetes and a heart condition and with proper diet and exercise and the right mix of drugs he can get an erection. He just won't do anything about it.
Fortunately (I guess) for me, sex was not a deal-breaker. You are not married and there is nothing wrong with sex being a deal breaker for you. It's not selfish to let him go so he can find a woman for whom sex is not a deal breaker. He may grieve over losing you, but also prefer to not hold you back or risk resentment coming between you two. His own emotional state may suffer more if you stay with him and are frustrated, then if you leave.
Or, instead of MEDICATING yourself into a state of oblivion, or just choosing to let your desire curl up and die, buy a VIBRATOR and make him drive it. I've never heard of a diabetic dying from that. Or even kissing.
Chances are, he's so ashamed of his inability to perform he's too embarrassed or even depressed to initiate something with you.
Either way you need to talk to him about it soon. It's not healthy to repress yourself like that.
And yes, he is very much ashamed of his not performing in that sense.
But he tries, and for that I do give him credit.
He is into cuddling and he treats me good.
I just may have to settle for that.
Originally posted by Mr Spock
Or, instead of MEDICATING yourself into a state of oblivion, or just choosing to let your desire curl up and die, buy a VIBRATOR and make him drive it. I've never heard of a diabetic dying from that. Or even kissing.
Chances are, he's so ashamed of his inability to perform he's too embarrassed or even depressed to initiate something with you.
Either way you need to talk to him about it soon. It's not healthy to repress yourself like that.
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