We are working things out, but I feel so alone.

Istandalone · 25th September 2004, 1:28 PM

I haven't posted on here in a while, but some of you probably know my story.

If not, I'll fill you in. My fiance' cheated on me with the girl next door and we broke up. Then we decided to work things out, slowly but surely.

It's only been about a week and already I am going mad. We did so well up until yesterday. I feel like since the whole break-up, make-up deal I have been so much harder to get along with. Any little thing that he does becomes a huge deal to me. We went to counseling once but I don't think it helped any. Our counselor didn't offer any advice or wisdom, basically said "ok, you have some things to work on" and sent us on our way.

The thing is, I am still very much in love with him. I want him to come home and be the man he used to be. What he wants is "time". For me that seems absurd... if you are in love with someone and want to be with them, you don't say "I love you but I have other plans right now". I'm not sure what I should do here. Should I just let him go and move on, or should I keep fighting for the love I think we could rekindle? Any advice would be appreciated. Also, if you have seen a counselor, tell me what he/she did to help you. I'm guessing that it wasn't just a "good luck with that" sort of situation.

Brooklyn8503 · 25th September 2004, 1:43 PM

the only advice i can give you is that if you would like to be with him-it's going to take time to gain back the trust and work through problems.

the closet thing i've come to a counsler was by reading "men are from mars, women are from venus." great book that explains helps you deal with a relationship. it points out the very obvisous problems in relationships that nobody knows how to fix or is so blindsided while in love that they wouldn't think this way.

Socom · 25th September 2004, 2:07 PM

I am curently going to counseling. On thursday was our 2nd session. I think that things have been getting better everyday since we have started 2 weeks ago. The first session we talked to her about what the problems are and she offered her advise on what we need to do. She told us to make a plan. Such as what the problems are and what we are willing to do to work to fix them. She told us to start slowly, just as if we were just starting to date. It sounds hard and it is but the results are worth it. To give you a brief overview of my situation.... My girl and I have been together for 2.5 years. 1 month ago (today) she left me and moved out. I was at first ok with it. Then the reality set in. So over the past month I realized what was wrong and we talked about working it out. So she tells me that on Monday she will be moving back in. I think that it was the best thing that happened to us. Because if we stayed together with out getting help things would be the same. But, now were are working together with the relationship. So the only advise that I can offer to you is if you really want him then do continue to do. Remeber that 1 session will not solve anything. It really is just for the counselor to get a grasp on the situation so that he/she can offer you help. Any questions ask

SoleMate · 25th September 2004, 3:08 PM

Quote:

if you are in love with someone and want to be with them, you don't say "I love you but I have other plans right now".

Bing! That is a true statement. If he is saying that, then don't bother trying to talk him into loving you again.

The only real use for a counselor, in my opinion, would be for you to learn more about relationships and understand that they just can't work if they are as onesided as this.