[RaleighMan]

Hey, this is my first time posting here. I have a blog dedicated to the pursuit of a woman I saw on a reality television show. I told my friends this incredible story and they thought it was awesome and convinced me to put up a blog so they could keep up to date. None of my friends are giving me good advice, they just read for entertainment value I know now.

In a nutshell, a little over a month ago I sent five dozen roses to a woman I saw on reality TV. I've never done anything like that before. She was just so incredible and sweet on the show that something really spoke to me to try and contact her. So I searched and searched and finally found her work mailing address and email.

A few days after I sent her the $300 worth of roses, I emailed her. Very simply put: In the email I explained myself, my intentions. And confessed that I understand how this could be weird for her. But all I am looking for is a chance for use to get to know each other. I told her from what I saw of her on the show, I realize I know very little about her, I would like to know more. I provided my full contact information in the letter.

Amazingly, her friends contacted me. Evidently no one else had done such a thing (sending her flowers and such) and she forwarded my email to her friends. They wanted to check up on me so they called. I talked to them for awhile and the one guy said what would help is if I sent her my photos so she knew it was not a joke. So I did, and eventually I heard from her. She told me "you are right I am seeing someone. I am not sure where it is going but he's been a friend for a while and is a nice guy"

So I said that's fine, I didn't expect anything romantic because we don't know each other. But if you are willing I would still like to talk with you and maybe we could become friends. I've only heard from her one other time and that has been it. Now all of this has been over the span of weeks so things have gone very slow. I felt because of that she was just being nice with her responses to me.

I ended up writing her a song. And after much deliberation I finally sent it to her last Tuesday. She got it today according to tracking. I put a lot of time in to making a CD cover and everything. The people I have talked to think that will just freak her out. And to some extent I believe I won't her from her again. But why is someone like me, who will put effort and creativity into pursuing a woman, can't get her attention? That's more of a rhetoric question but still.

Oh and one other thing, people make stalking references to this. Which at first didn't bother me, because the only people I've let in on this were people I knew. They weren't serious. But it's the power of suggestion and it has made me think. I don't feel that I am stalking her. I told her if she ever wanted me to leave her alone I would and wish her nothing but the best in life. And in fact, when I sent her the CD with the song I wrote for her, I included a letter saying that I am under the impression she wants me to leave her alone and will not try and contact her again unsolicited. So maybe it is something with society I don't know. Why when a guy decides to write songs sends flower and such to a girl, everyone perverse minds suspect the worse? It bothers me a little to think people assume I am some psycho because I am determined and motived. *sigh*

Anyhow, if anyone has any advice that would be great. I have been going through a rollercoaster of depression and happiness regarding this. Finally I almost feel despaired. I know I don't know her but something spoke to me to try and contact her. Now I feel that I have lost my chance, something I did, something I didn't do. I don't know.

Thanks strangers I don't know.

[Stone]

Dude I know this is not what you wanted to hear but it's a little freaky and yes I believe you are stalking her.. She told you she was dating someone so leave it alone before you get in to trouble... yes it's sweet, but freaky.

[RaleighMan]

Originally posted by stoneheather
Dude I know this is not what you wanted to hear but it's a little freaky and yes I believe you are stalking her.. She told you she was dating someone so leave it alone before you get in to trouble... yes it's sweet, but freaky.

She said "I don't know where it's going" Why would she tell me that? And besides, she said we could be friends. But I think she was just being nice so I decided to send her the CD, stick a fork in it and call the whole thing done.

[Stone]

OK Let me give you some insight.... I used to be in the let's call it Entertainment business.... Plenty of time's men used to buy me things, write me poems ect... and it was sweet and sincere and I told them all we could be friends so I could let them down easy.... Look they didn't know me they thought they wanted to but sometimes things are just better left as a fantisy.

Spend your time presuing someone who will appreicate it and that is available..

[RaleighMan]

Originally posted by stoneheather
OK Let me give you some insight.... I used to be in the let's call it Entertainment business.... Plenty of time's men used to buy me things, write me poems ect... and it was sweet and sincere and I told them all we could be friends so I could let them down easy.... Look they didn't know me they thought they wanted to but sometimes things are just better left as a fantisy.

Spend your time presuing someone who will appreicate it and that is available..

Two things about that, this girl is not an "entertainer." And she doesn't have tons of other guys doing this. Apparently, I was the only one to. Her friends called me to make sure I was alright and I've heard that I left a good impression on them. Her one friend actuall was telling her to give me a chance. I see the problem as I see it is she just doesn't know who I am. So I figured writing a song would express myself in a way that would get her attention. It's a very difficult situation, so it seemed like typical approched wouldn't work.

Other than that I see your point. But I don't think this is the same.

[dyermaker]

I see the problem as I see it is she just doesn't know who I am.

You're going to see it however you want to, that's just the way we work.

However, you have to realize something important about the science of attraction.

I'm going to go ahead and speak in general terms, and if anyone posts "Not all women are like that", I'm going to ignore it. Generalizations are not evil.

That said, as flattering as it is to be pursued, a woman wants to think that she has some *choice* in her mate. In the fun-pre-relationship stage, she wants to have some volition as to with whom she's going to pursue.

If you go all gung-ho at her, she's got nothing to do but sit there and accept your advances. Frankly, that's not fun at all. You've got to make her think that she *made* you want her, almost that she won you over.

I know you think you can do that with letters and songs, but it's not happening with this one. Further pursuit will get you into trouble.

A bitch is going to look for a dog before she looks for a puppy.