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If I understand it correctly, you did sleep with an old BF after you took your current BF back, but you told your current BF that you weren't exclusive to him anymore and you were seeing other people.
Assuming that to be the case, I don't think you've done anything wrong. You laid it out for him when you took him back, and told him that you're not willing to be exclusive to him. And you haven't been. He accepted that, so as far as I'm concerned, you're pretty much free to do what you want.
As for your thoughts about what constitutes cheating, I've had the same thoughts. Since I learned who my TBXW really was, I've wondered if a kiss is cheating. I've thought about the nature of what I learned and wondered, "OK, what if she'd only given head a few times? Would I be devastated? Or received head?" But what I kept coming back to was, it's all a question of respect and what's acceptable. If I were in a relationship right now, I would consider everything starting with kissing to be unacceptable. To do so when you're committed to somebody else demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect.
But, the fact that you're wondering about this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't sound as though you've stopped thinking cheating is unthinkable... it's just that your world has been shaken by what your BF did and you're questioning a lot of things, including what constitutes cheating.
So, don't be so hard on yourself, take precautions as you continue to "not be exclusive", and invest some time in figuring out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy.
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See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood, all the colours came out.
-- U2
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Hybrid Mode
