[shadowbunny83]

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Hello there. I kinda need some advice if anyone can help me.

My boyfriend and i have been together just over 2 years and have lived together most of that time. We had a good relationship up until i went away with friends for the weekend about a month ago. When i came home he didnt seem delighted to see me and decided to go drinking with his mates as soon as i walked through the door. Since then things have gone down hill. First the sex stopped, then the kissing stopped, then even the cuddling stopped. I go to bed every night and cant sleep for wondering whats going through his mind.

He insists that he is not seeing anyone else, but i am so confused. I even found a note in his bag that was siving someone his number and he would love to know their name and get to know them better. Am i being paranoid? These things just seem to point to one thing at the moment. He's going to stay with friends for a few nights for a 'drinking spree' as they have just gone to university. It was my birthday a few days ago and he didnt even want to get intimate then. Should be getting suspicious? I need to know any way i can make this better, i love him with all my heart and he aparently loves me.

I need help, giving up on this relationship is not an opition for me, because i just wont, we have too much to lose. Please can anyone help me? i need solutions.

Thanks.

[Moose]

It's apparent to me that you haven't asked him to set down with you and talk. You need to have his undivided attention and tell him how you feel. Tell him what you've been noticing about him lately and get it off your chest. It's obvious that you going away for the weekend has something to do with it. Are you telling us the whole story?

[bluechocolate]

Moose is right - you two need to sit down & talk it out. Don't settle for him saying, "nothing's wrong, we're OK", because the way you've described it, something is indeed wrong.

[shadowbunny83]

I am unfortunately telling the whole story, i just came back and he was different and believe me i would do anything to get our relationship back on good terms. Every time i try and talk to him he just says i have to be patient with him, or its a phase he's going through. I dont want to have a major argument with him as we will end up blasting each other. Maybe when he comes back from his break he will be different. Thanks for the advice anyways. I'll just have to keep trying i guess.

[Moose]

Shadow,

That's just it hun......you keep trying and you keep using your patience.....you keep suffering. It's not fair to you to stay in limbo either doll. You really need to get him alone and in the right frame of mind to openly communicate with you or your relationship is doomed to hidden thoughts and feelings that should be shared with each other.

It's up to you to open those lines up. I know you don't want to fight with him....so have him pick a day this month that he's going to be willing to set at the table with you and hash out his feelings.