Well...she popped up online this morning right before 11 a.m., to tell me she was sorry that she didn't my messages, but she was getting ready for a meeting. I replied with that's ok.. She then asked if I was going to online a while, and I said I can for a few minutes, but I need to get to work, the boss wants to interview about this other position. She told me she would rather I call, anyway.
SO, I call her. She then proceeds to tell me that she never wants to talk to me again, that she never wants to see me again, and as far as she was concerned the friendship was over. Spending the weekend with some other friends made her realize what a friendship should be... She told me to mail her cell phone to her...and she would deposit the rest of the money in my account that she owes me...
I begged and pleaded and cried, as I tried to get her to change her mind. But she wouldn't. And she said my reluctance to let her off the phone was a further lack of respect for her. I asked her if she might change her mind in the future, and she said no, never. And your current behavior is just insuring that. In the middle of this, my boss walks out to the parking lot...and wants to know if I can come in and talk to him early.
I called her back on the way to class (which I skipped because I couldn't stop crying), she said she was worried about me driving upset... is there anyone I could call and talk to, I wanted to say hey you B***H...how about you? You ask me to call you, so you can nail me with that earlier, and then have the nerve to chastize me for keeping you on the phone...when you have work to do...it was your idea for me to call.
On the way home, I hit the curb, and scratched up the wheel covers on my car...which made me even more unhappy. I called her cell a little while ago...to tell her she could come get her cell phone now if she wanted it. She called me back about a half hour later,..and asked is that all I wanted, because we had agreed I was going to mail it... I told her it felt like she had died...there are so many reminders of her here in my room that I rent, and out there in the wide world...
Bottom line is, I don't think she will change her mind...I think our friendship is done for good.
I've been reading this saga for a while now, and while I'm in a similar position of wanting my ex back, I'm handling it far differently. I hate to say this, but you really pushed her away. You made her the center of your universe and then wouldn't leave her alone, even when she asked you to. When she asked what you needed, you said, "you" which is sort of stalkerish and would scare almost anyone away. People have repeatedly told you not to make contact, but you can't stop for more than a couple of days. If you had given her a month of no contact, and tried to focus on your own life, things would probably be very different. While I think she's a headcase, your begging her, constantly calling her, constantly obsessing about her, etc. is NOT healthy. She asked you to call her, but when she told you what she needed to say, you pleaded and tried to keep her on the phone, which is manipulative. Please, for both your sakes, leave this poor woman alone and focus on your own life. I know it hurts, but she's made her decision, and you need to respect it. If she someday wants to have contact again she'll make it, but until then, stop making her the center of your life. It's not healthy for anyone involved.
It does get better although when I went through it I didn't believe it could. I got so close that even the trained counsellor started to look worried (and their job is to keep level headed!!!). This is probably the worst it will get but you will hit rock bottom and bounce back. It is not an easy ride but just hang on and watch what happens. At first I couldn't go more than a day without breaking down totally so I had to stop working for a month. Just listen to that little voice in your head screaming get up Jerry - fight it. It is there and it will get louder and louder - listen to it.
So please trust me, trust everyone here, it will get better. You WILL be stronger. You WILL discover the true you (S**T man I realized I could write poems - never saw that coming)
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
She is NOT your best friend. Best friends don't tell the other that he/she never wants to see aor talk to the other again.
This girl is immature, and being hurtful to you is how she stays in control of the situation. Don't give her that power.
You have to bury the relationship. It's dead. Kaput. A rotting carcass. Dig a hole, a six footer, and kick its sorry ass in. Cover it up. Plant a daisy.
One day you WILL look back on this and shake your head in amazement over how you broke yourself up about this chick. Trust me on this - you WILL move on. That's the way the universe works. It feeds on short-term f*ck-ups. But even the soggiest, sappiest, sorry story ever, will be sucked dry quickly. Just give it up. The earth sucks, so let it.
I messed up... I just called her...she got irritated... I told her I missed her...she how could you, you just talked to me yesterday. I said, well we usually talk several times a day. She said why are you calling me? I thanked her for not being rude when I called her last night. She asked me, in any of these people you have talked to, has any of them told you this is the right thing to do? I said no..they have told me that if I ever want a chance of her calling me again, I need to respect her wishes. And she said, and is your way working, or is it being disrespectful? I said you are right... I said, I am afraid you are going to forget me....and she replied..I hope so. I told her that was cruel..and she asked if she could go now. I asked her if there was a chance she would call me again,..and she replied..well if I say I may call next Thursday...and I don't, I don't want you calling me... So the answer is no...so I don't commit to anything...
She then said, this is the third workday you have harrassed me at work... will you please stop.
I said ok...and she said, I am forwarding my work phone to my voicemail, so don't bother calling me back..
I hung up, called her work #...she had already forwarded it, I called her cell..no answer..so I waited a few minutes...called her work #, and it rang....and then went to voicemail...and I left a message apologizing for disrespecting her and calling her.
Do you thnk she will really forget me? Or that she will call me?
I think, if she has any sense, she'll get a restraining order against you and have you arrested for harassment. Just keep it up. How many times does she have to ask you not to call her, especially at work?? You could get her fired for that sh*t. Quit being an a$$h*le and MOVE ON. Get a help EMEDIATELY.
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~ Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming......'Wow!!!! What a ride!!!' ~
Get help ASAP. I know how you feel man, I think that the majority of us here do (that's why were here right?). You can't center your life around this girl. She doesn't wanna talk to you anymore? You know what I say to that? **** her. Do you know how dumb you sound telling us all this and then asking for our advice? STOP CALLING HER. END OF STORY. In my personal opinion you're both better off without each other. You look crazy man, I know you don't wanna hear it, but you do. Go do something for yourself, delete all her numbers from your phone and go hang out with the guys tonight.
YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS *shaking you by the shoulder furiously*
C'mon already. Are you for real? That was sarcasm BTW. I think you are really in a lot of pain and in the beginning, most of us could sympathize with your story. But, there comes a point - and you have by far passed it - that you have to act like an adult (sane one) and just quit it.
I do not always agree with counseling, but I do think you would benefit from it. If you cannot afford it, try to seek some place locally that will offer emergency counseling. Really, Jerry, PLEASE do not call her again. You are seriously on the verge of legal action. You don't need that on top of your instability.
I think, if she has any sense, she'll get a restraining order against you and have you arrested for harassment. Just keep it up. How many times does she have to ask you not to call her, especially at work?? You could get her fired for that sh*t. Quit being an a$$h*le and MOVE ON. Get a help EMEDIATELY.
Look you need to re-read what YOU wrote...(not what I quoted but the whole post)
Seriously you are STALKING this girl. SHE HAS MADE IT CLEAR SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED BY YOU!
It is not fair that she has to be bothered time and time again by someone who can not get it through their head...she is probably worried that you'll show up and start stalking her, following her, ect.
YOU NEED TO STOP! If you can't then get help! LEAVE HER ALONE! EVERYONE has told you that and you don't seem to be able to understand! YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT SICK IN THE HEAD that you can NOT leave someone alone who does not want anything to do with you!
My ex did the same to me and I almost had him arrested but he learned his lesson and left me alone! Coming from someone who's been in this girl's place it isn't fun and it's scary that someone is so fixated on you that they won't leave you alone even when asked to..
On another note you better be careful she could be taping or recording each and everyone of your calls where she has TOLD YOU TO STOP CONTACTING HER and you continue to do so! MAN GROW UP AND LEAVE HER ALONE LEAVE HER ALONE LEAVE HER ALONE SHE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE HER MIND LEAVE HER ALONE!(maybe you'll get a clue)
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Ando amando el amor de mi vida!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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