[bones1]

Okay, first the good. Met a beautiful woman I have grown to love within 8 weeks. We are now at the point of exclusiveness, I have a key to her house, we talk of travelling, vacations, living together. We have amazing chemistry, spend lots of free time together, and it has really been a long time since i found someone like this. Now the bad......

1. Just found out she had sex with someone else during the first week of our relationship. She just told me, and said we werent exclusive, and she wasnt sure about me from the beginning, as I was her.

2. One day, she had another man over from the internet, at 2am, on a night she said she was going to bed. This was about 2 weeks into the relationship.

3. Then 4 weeks in, she didnt call me back one day, we argued, and she said she was going to the movies with another internet guy friend. She didnt go, but still really irked me, that i never heard of this guy. He was just a "friend"

4. Now last night her ex calls at 3am,inviting himself over, she tells him not to call anymore, but in a very nice, joking, jovial attitude. He then called again this morning. Makes me wonder if she really hasnt seen him in 6 months, like she says.

So now, she gave me the key to her house, says that is all in the past, she loves me, she was afraid of commitment from getting hurt so many times in the past, she didnt think i liked her, etc etc, lots of excuses, but now she says she is ready. Am i dumb for even posting this question? Should i run? Or should i try to understand, and be with this woman that I have grown to love, and she says the same to me? Or am i just being weak, and being walked all over?

[Merin]

Wow!

Well I would be concerned about her good judgement to begin with... maybe it's just me, but as far as I'm concerned once you've started an intimate relationship with someone shouldn't it be discussed that this IS and WILL BE exclusive?

Secondly, why does she go out with so many guys from the internet? I don't know if that is how the two of you met, but seriously not everyone you met on the internet is going to turn out to be a nice guy/girl know what I'm saying? So I also question why she is so willing to throw caution to the wind and hook up with people she has met online...

You're right to be concerned about this... she has ALREADY been less than honest with you in a very short period of time and given you reason to question her true feelings and her word...

8 weeks isn't that long to have known her... and IF you did happen to met her online... is it possible that you fell in love with who she represented herself to be, not who she actually is?

I would say, slow way way way down in this relationship.

Hello,

I think there are huge red flags here. She is not honest with you, has sex with someone else at the beginning of the relationship with you, goes out with "internet male friend," has ex-boyfriend calling up in the middle of the night to come over and tells him in a joking way not to call but he calls again etc. It sounds like the first time you guys get in a serious argument she will see someone else. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I am afraid you may be setting yourself up for the big hurt. All of these signs are very troublesome. I wish you luck because it sounds like you will need it if you stay with her.

[Jilly10340]

I also agree that there are red flags here. But I don't think that past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. Everyones done things in their past that they're not very proud of, including me and I would never do it again. I would be concerned with the present behavior that she's displaying in this relationship.

Have you told her about your concerns. How does she react. Maybe she doesn't know how much all of this really bothers you. The only way to resolve it is to talk about it and get it all out.

Then you got to decide if the relationship is worth what you're going through. That's what it all comes down to.

[Mary3]

I think something is **fishy** here and its prolly her !