I have been with my boyfriend over two years and things are going very well. I mean, he's never let me down, seems to love me a lot (in fact told me the other day that I was the love of his life) and he recently brought up us having children together. (He's 32 and I am 28) We live together and I must say that - so far - I had the impression that I am really really lucky with him. I love him with all my heart!!
He's currently on a business trip in Asia (he asked me to join) but I decided to stay here and work. Now, as I said, I really really trust him but he's going out every night until 2 to 4 o'clok with friends on his business trip. I know the people but still am soooooooooo pissed off that almost every night I receive a phone call at 3 in the morning (his time) saying good night to me!
I mean, is he stupid?? Doesn't he realize that I am worried to death? I mean, he hasn't seen these people in a long time, and the company who sponsors them has got all sorts of gala dinners and clubbing organised for them but still!
I mean, it is bad enough that he's on a business trip away from, does he have to go up till morning hours??
He has called me just then (3 in the morning, his time) and I told him not to contact me anymore as I am better off not knowing what he's up to. He didn't understand and I hung up the phone
So pissed off with his respectless behaviour.
I mean Fu** the "wish you were here" and "you are the love of my life" messages when he's partying so hard!
Yes, he did invite me but I am too busy! But went with him last year and we had a good (though crazy time) in Asia!
It's just that he went out very late on his first night there. Calling me at five in the morning saying good night to me and I told him that I didn't like him stay out that late. He told me he wasn't interested in staying out that late anymore but is doing so anyhow!
The problem is that he saw my point and said that he would worry too if I stayed out that late every night but he isn't changing is he!?
What's the problem? You say you trust him, so you aren't worried that he's sleeping around. Is it that you don't want him to have fun!?
I went to a friend's party last year, and told hubby I would be home at 9.....I ended up staying out til midnight! I called, of course, and left a message, because he was already asleep, and he didn't get angry.
I wouldn't like it if he stayed out late, but I'd have to accept it, because he's a grown man, and he can do whatever he wants.....as long as I trust him.
He trusted me completely when I went to a friend's party and stayed out til 3....didn't say a word about it.
When you're having fun with your friends, it's easy to let time get away from you! He's calling you every night! It's not like he's waking you up, or you're waiting up for his call. Also, it's a TRIP. He's not doing this every night, he's doing it while he's on his trip.
Let him have fun. I'm sure he misses you, but since he can't be with you, what's the harm in him hanging out with his buddies? If you were sitting at home waiting for him that'd be one thing, but him being all that far away?
And besides, if you lied about trusting him, and you ARE worried he'd cheat, he'd be less apt to cheat if he were at a party with his friends, than if he were in his hotel hooking up with a chick. Yeah, he could call you at 10 p.m. his time, right before he screws some chick. Or, he could call you BEFORE he goes out, and say he's going to bed, then go to the party.
You have a great guy. He's good to you, and he's honest with you. He's having fun.
It's not very nice of you to try to ruin his fun because.....he's not missing you badly enough.
Are you worried that something has happened to him, or are you upset that he's not sitting lonely in his hotel room pining away for you? Are they partying at strip clubs? Are you jealous that he's having fun, and you are home alone? What's the problem, I don't understand.
Monday, thank you for your long and considerate reply. Maybe I did overreact a bit and now am feeling guilty about telling him to leave me in peace until he arrives at the airport next Saturday.
He used to be a party guy when he was younger and from what I understand always had very "kind" girlfriends who would not say anything against him but were very devoted.
Everyone tells me how much he has settled down with me; and how he would have never asked anyone to move in with him. (he asked me after 3 months! and this former party animal was even talking babies the night before he went on his business trip)
Maybe I am just annoyed that his old "him" seems to be coming through at times!
I understand a little better now....are you worried he's going to turn back into a party guy, and leave you? Are you worried that he's going to have fun, and realize his misses that life, and leave you?
.... and we are from different cultural backgrounds. I have been brought up in a very catholic way where guys behave, want to have a family young and come home at ten at night at the latest! The "men" I grew up with and I used to date were very proper when it came to "seeming to be good boyfriends and husbands". Whether they were: who knows.
But that means that all my girlfriend's partners are like that.
I would NEVER EVER swap my current boyfriend as we are so much in love and it feels real but I just sometimes wish I had a more "catholic" or "orthodox" boyfriend
Ha!!! The guy I engaged in a recent affair with wears a cross around his neck, makes the holy trinity sign when crossing the church, but STILL leaves his girlfriend and kids to come have a romping stomping good time-holds up his cross and says "I'm being a good boy" then whips it out. Be happy with what you have.
You're jealous that he's having fun without you. If you can trust him, get over it or it will turn you into a bitter girl.
Well, UNFORTUNATELY my being mad has already gone and I am a bit worried now that I have spoilt his trip as I made a scene every single night when he called late! And now even told him to "bugger off".
I hate apologizing, and also hate playing strong (" I do not want you to contact me until you're back!") and then take it back and be a sissy.
So, I'll see what I feel like tomorrow morning when I wake up!
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