....Warning.. Long and Explicit....
Hi All,
Your not going to believe this..
First let me say that i've been good girl. Havent done anything to put my marriage or anyone elses on the line.
Whenever i have felt like it, i write about it, get it out of my system, and go about my day.
Friend and I got to see each other and it went well. We hugged, laughed, it was nice to see him.
We decided that even though reading about what could happen is fun and is a safe outlet, it cant happen, bottom line. If we were not married though he states there would be no question what his actions would be. He considers me a fun, smart and sexy woman but more importantly we are friends and we are not going to wreck it.
Now, If you remember, i mentioned in my initial post that my husband leaves me home with the baby often to go to heavy metal shows. He's been drifting further and further into the lifestyle and no wishes to have a piercing.
Even though i have my misgivings about him leaving me, i try to comprimise and make his arrangements and be understanding. I've been feeling that he keeps alot of feelings from me. We used to talk all the time, now there are just questions i've learned not to ask anymore, becuase he flares up then shuts down.
Ive been trying to explain to him that i've been feeling really good about myself lately and love having all the extra energy, ive lost 30lbs since may/04 and excersing. Im trying to really take better care of myself for myself and so he can feel good about having a beuatiful self confident wife.
In the midst of all this, i been trying to get to make love more often, but he says he is tired. and he doesnt understand why i'm feeling this way. and i have to beg for him to kiss my straight on the lips and hug me for more than a minute. Its as if sometimes he wants me and sometimes he doesnt. Im sorry i think he is very sexy and loving, why shouldnt i want him any chance i can get him? i thought that was healthy in a marraige? bear in mind we went from sex 4 times a month to 2/3 times a day for a week at time....
Now this is when it gets interesting...
You know you just get that feeling that something isn’t right... doesn’t want to hold me, kiss me, have sex often, money is disappearing.. etc.....
Well i found the following emails, yes i have his password, its a trust thing....go figure...some is explicit sorry moderators but i don’t feel i can edit them...
What should i think or say now, cuase i want out at this point....
Dated 9/14 to some woman that he hangs with often.
hey i need to know if gina has a ticket or if your sure you guys can get in to the locobazooka...cuz i already have yours just in case...do you need me to get ginas tik also....just in case? i just wanna make sure everything goes smoothly.
meredeath email me or sumthin to make sure your ok....i read your away message about your not feeling to well...if there is anything i can do...you can count on me. bye luv....mi rubia querida
(mi rubia querida, means my blond cutie, or my blond sweetheart in Spanish)
Dated 9/15 to a girl ive never heard of.
wsup mami!, im not doing well, but soon i will be ok. i am gettin a divorce in about 3years..its on the down low tho..she dont know about it yet.
im workin a new job, its daytime hrs and weekends and holidays off. its stressin abit but what hospital job isnt? my son is doin better not ttall tohere yet, but he has improved he can say some sounds...he can stand abit.
i missya girl whatcha been upto? still in penn? my cell is still *****..if you can gove me a number to call you and the times lol bye babe
Dated 9/15 to the same woman in the first email
im sorry you had to see that ****er wit a chik. your better off without him. i know whatever they say it still hurts......you will move on....you deserve better...your nuthin less of a queen. and dont let anybody make you think your any less goddamit. and i dont belive he ruined you. you know not all the gys are the same...just far between. sometimes i cant stand girls...girls are the devil..lol.....but i got to know you....and your stirring me up emotionally. and i like it. anyways if you need time to yourself i undertsand....but im a call away....whatever you need...do not hesitate....i wanna feel your pain...there always room for misery here in me...especially you meredeath. dont worry you will be out soon...and if you need my help on that to speed up the process...you ****in tell me "josh i need you and your money now!" and i guarantee i will be there for you. your too precious meredeath.....i hate seeing you hurt. *** that niggah hope that bitch he was with give him an std and dies...maybe that was abit harsh but **** it. i know he couldve talked to you about this event but if he didnt tell you that he didnt want this realtionship to go further after 6 yrs together....what do you expect. expect the unexpected sometimes. **** my ****in life partner went out to do her pedicure all geared up....and came back 5hrs later all tired n ****...and her toes wasnt done...it ****in hurts...but this is what it is. **** her! i dont need her! but my son does...and you know if it werent for him...****. im sorry.
i know you want to let it out..just do it in a way...
p.s. i see what i can do about ginas tik bye love
im not doing well, but soon i will be ok. i am gettin a divorce in about 3years..its on the down low tho..she dont know about it yet.
Okay... that sentence right there is ALL i would need to see in order for me to divorce that man and never look back. What are you waiting for? He just proved what a jerk he is right there!
Quote:
**** my ****in life partner went out to do her pedicure all geared up....and came back 5hrs later all tired n ****...and her toes wasnt done...it ****in hurts...but this is what it is. **** her! i dont need her! but my son does...and you know if it werent for him...****. im sorry.
and what is that all about? Is he talking about you?
This looks like bad news.. i think you need to get out fast. he is obviously more interested in these others girls than he needs to be.
See a lawyer and find out what your options are. You may not want to divorce him yet, but prepare for the worst anyhow.
When I confronted my H with all the evidence of his internet escapades, I had already been to the lawyer's office. It's comforting and calming to at least have all the information at hand. I think in retrospect that it was because I was calm that we were able to put things back together. Believe me I wasn't at all serene when I found all that crap on his computer!!!
I went out 2 nights ago to get a manicure and pedicure. Yes, i looked nice. If i feel good inside, i want to look good outside. Yes i was gone a long time not 5 hours though, i saw my friend afterwords (nothing happened). Im was on my period and i had cramps and took medication and it knocked me out.
I can see how it might of looked odd. But it felt so good to be out of the house.
p.s. i did some investigating.... turns out the girl "merideth" stayed at the same hotel he did.
and have a bank statment where he purchased Liquor from the day he checked in.
How old is your husband, BTW? I'm just curious as he seems to be fond of gangsta slang.....ghetto speak-whatever you want to call it. If he's over 18, he sounds rediculous.
What I suggest you do is gather up every posession he treasures-and put it in a large cardboard box (disclaimer, there are to be NO LIVE POSESSIONS in this box)
Then, grab some gasoline, pour it on (being careful not to splash yourself in the process) and light a match. This should be done, in the evening for maxiumum effect. Preferably as he's pulling into the driveway. Oh, and you'll have the locks re keyed by this time-run into the house and lock it behind you. Then, start throwing all his OTHER crap out the nearest second level window-if you live in a rancher, add all these things into the burning pile.
Your kid will be staying at a trusted relatives, so is in no danger of being scarred by the insults you yell out the window at him. Then, get on the phone and call his parents. And yours. Actually every one he knows.
And if your lawyer won't let you do that, burn his favourite things secretly.
You go to have a pedicure, you're gone a long time, you spend time with your "friend" You come home "tired" and your toes aren't done!
He's talking crap behind your back, because he thinks you're cheating on him. He's planning to divorce you when your son is old enough because he thinks you are cheating on him!
He is 30 and I am 29.
Known each other since 19 and 18.
We've been together since 20 and 19.
not including a split we had when i was about 22
Got back together when i was around 23, married when i was 26 ( 4/21/01) . Had the baby at 27 (7/12/02)
Ive never heard him talk like that ... It makes me sick.
We live in an apartment and both of his parents are deceased. for the rest of the fiery suggestion....
I have begun the research process into this Merideth Person, but im going to play the stupid wife a little longer.
Im going to stay loving and supporting no matter how much it hurts... becuase im going to give him enough rope to hang himself... Im installing a keylogger before he gets home... im going to collect as much information as i can.
Over our vacation im going to see if we talk and hopefully all the love will make him feel like opening up due to guilt or something. At least that is what i am hoping.
I have a friend who is a private eye... im sure i can call in a favor....
--->MONDAY
I think its becuase im feeling so good lately, trying to look nice, cleaning the house more, being more alive i guess.
Listening to music outloud... But i NEVER leave the house, i leave once and im cheating... but he can go to shows everyother weekend and during the week, and i cant say a word. Imagine.. im alone from 7am to 4pm and then from 7pm to at midnight or later. and i've been faithful...I engross myself in the baby and the internet and work...ok ok.. i go to chat rooms once in a while, but thats it.
Last edited by SECRETANGEL; 15th September 2004 at 4:44 PM..
Well, in that case it sounds like he's putting blame on you to make himself look good.
In that case, call in your PI friend, play nice wife for a while, and see if he does "hang himself" make sure he can't find the key logger, and did you check the cookies? That might help some
Try talking to him. Tell him that you noticed he's been distant lately, and you wanted to know if something was bothering him.
SECRETANGEL , A keylogger is grate but if he's IMing her you will only get one side . If he's IMing I would sugest NETNANNY Chat monitor . Only 19 buck's .The keylogger was how I found out my girlfriend was kissing on a 17 yearold and she's 29 . I got the net nanny program and I now see every thing . And thanks to some one she worked with that called me to snitch on her that's what put me on guard . Hang on to your self . Remember you are smarter than him that's clear . And for God's sake make him use protection when you have sex . The last thing you need is to get a STD or have another baby with him . Your life will go on and when you make your break you will feel better about your self . Blessings to you, Peace out Jayman
keylogger has been installed.
It logs EVERYTHING in ANY program in the computer, both sides of ANY message, it decrypts passwords. I mean it really tracks every single mouse click, and key pressed, it it happens on the computer, its going to catch it. and its super stealth. LOVE IT!
$34.95
Called the "Perfect Keylogger" www.blazingtools.com
Its been featured on TechTv, God im glad i remembered that show!
The program doesnt even appear in the start up menu, task menu, it renames all its own files, screen captures and emails or ftp everything to you at any interval you set and/or based on certain keywords you enter.....
The only way you can make it appear at all is by pressing a set of buttons at the same time.
This does NOT sound good at all. GET OUT NOW. These things can get very nasty and dangerous. Gosh. Who needs enemies? Youre sleeping with the biggest one of all. This guy is scary.
OK. Go ahead and get all of the evidence on him if you can play it COOL. But do everything to make a clean break away from this horrible situation.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this emotionally. And it will not get easier -- probably for the next year or more depending on how "MESSY" things evolve.
Be careful NOT to provoke him into violence towards you and also, you need to NOT become out of control in front of him. This is likely to turn very abusive: Emotionally (as now) and possibly physically.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I got the net nanny program and I now see every thing . And thanks to some one she worked with that called me to snitch on her that's what put me on guard . Hang on to your self . Remember you are smarter than him that's clear . And for God's sake make him use protection when you have sex . The last thing you need is to get a STD or have another baby with him . 
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