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1st time being cheated on that i know of. worst day of my life. biggest deception

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Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

 
 
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Old 14th September 2004, 9:48 AM   #1
Kate
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1st time being cheated on that i know of. worst day of my life. biggest deception

how do i begin. i have met and been with one of life's most ugly, scary monsters. from the depths of hell. after some researching and a NAGGING NAGGING gut instinct that has been haunting me for months, i found out yesterday of at least 2 other women he has carried out a relationship since day 1 with me. this male -- so INNOCENT looking, so reserved...so HONEST seeming. he is disgusting. i contact the 1 st poor girl and she showed up at my house vomiting. vomiting. she had fallen in love with him. he has been sleeping with both of us now, sometimes the same exact day. no condom. sick, predator. i am at a severe loss for words. i never would have imagined this, even if someone told me. he is the best liar i have ever ever come across.

we showed up at his house, poured paint all over his car and practically broke down the door trying to get in. the coward was cowering in his room. we even hid in the basement, hoping he would come out. he didn't. he filed a police report against me. the nerve -- after all of the PAIN. i mean, you guys have been following my posts. my sincerety. my whole-hearted approach. his "time and space" WAS clearly to get out of the woods for a while and sample the goods. you could never understand the straight-faced lies he has told me. how can i put this on paper? words can't describe. they can't describe the depths of my pain and suffering.

he is not human. he is a wolf in sheep's clothing. he does not care and never has. he put my freaking health at risk. before him, i was fine...now, who knows. HOW could he do this? HOW does an actual human being look you in the eye...tell you they LOVE you...smile...and say that things will never end? how do they get that kind of trust from you? how could i know? i thought the eyes always told the truth. they lied to me the whole time. i am so broken right now. help.
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Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 14th September 2004 at 11:48 AM.. Reason: removed reference to copying this post to a second forum -- one thread/forum per topic, please!
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:17 AM   #2
Papillon
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And so you pour paint over his car? How mature

Congratulations on lowering yourself to his level.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:28 AM   #3
EC
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Quote:
i thought the eyes always told the truth.
Lol oh yeah I thought that too....till I realized I what I was seeing in his eyes was my love for him. I saw what I wanted to see not what was really there.

lol and about the paint pap even I have had the urge to poor paint thinner on my ex's car after i found out he cheated.

It was seriously the one of the worst pains that I have encountered and I was thinking right I just wanted to "Get him" I wanted him to feel something for what he did(that little cold blooded jerk) but I am ok now and I never went through with it because I couldn't find paint at the moment.

Kate girl what can I say. I've been through it, my friends have gone through it, and a lot of girls here on LS have been through it. It hurts and it stings and you wonder why? How? When? Then you hate him and want to kill him....then you love him and no one will ever be like him...then you hate him again...A cycle. And you'll go through it for a while till you realize that yes he is a LIAR and a CHEATER and you deserve better and all those good things about him you liked were not him you have to remember they were all LIES to you.

It hurts but you need to just turn around and not look back. He's a jerk and he thought he was slick untill you caught his a**!

Its going to hurt but you have to be strong and know its really not the end of the world. But don't do anything else that will get you arrested or anything lol trust me.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:31 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd
lol and about the paint pap even I have had the urge to poor paint thinner on my ex's car after i found out he cheated.
There's a difference between having the urge to do something, and having the self control to keep a level head. Her cheating no-good ex couldn't control himself, and evidently neither can she.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:36 AM   #5
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Originally posted by Papillon
There's a difference between having the urge to do something, and having the self control to keep a level head. Her cheating no-good ex couldn't control himself, and evidently neither can she.
Maybe she´s young and there was this other girl, too. That might have been reinforcing to do something to him. Double pain.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:39 AM   #6
NatoPMT
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Oh kate, I am sorry. One thing I must say is that he wasn’t that good a liar, if you thought he was everything you said, honest, innocent (noone is that), reserved etc then you picked up on something to have the gut instinct. You can trust people and you can believe in yourself, just if it does ever happen again then you must walk away and leave it behind you the moment your unease kicks in, don’t let this take over your life.

Regarding you going to his house - He had every right to call the police, your behaviour was completely outrageous and I would have called the police too, and Id have pressed charges. Him seeing other girls does not give you the right to vandalise his car, harass him and hide in his cellar. You are an adult, take responsibility for yourself and walk away from this immediately - its not his fault you are behaving like this - its yours. Why do you think he’s got a nerve to call the police? If a married woman has an affair, her husband commits a crime if he responds by hitting her, why should your intimidation of him be any different? You must end this now, seek some help and express your feelings in a more positive fashion, if you don’t you’ll end up with a criminal record.

BB
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:42 AM   #7
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Double the stupidity, you mean?

Hang on, it's triple the stupidity, with him hiding in the house
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:45 AM   #8
tokyo
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One human being is smart, many human beings are sheep (I *know* "two" is not many, but still...)
I didn´t say it was smart and I wouldn´t do it either. I would beat him up.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:45 AM   #9
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The best thing you can do is stay as far away from him as possible. He used you and you need to get your life back. It will take time but you will survive and be happier someday. And, look into therapy, it works.
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:49 AM   #10
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LOL Double pain. Thats true You might have the "urge" to do it but won't if your alone but if you have your road dog next to you you more inclined lol.

I thought about it and my friend was already dressed in black just waiting for my thumbs up. Man you have to love those crazy friends. lol

Triple stupidity. lol

The only dumb one would be the one that stayed with this dummy after all of this.

I can just hear him now


"Baby I was hiding in the basement alone..thinking about you...I love you soo much that other girl doesn't mean anything to me thats why I stayed in the basement to prove to you.."


Guys are so dumb
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Old 14th September 2004, 10:52 AM   #11
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Yeah, the dumbass. If chicks come within a mile of my car with colour that you can apply, even if it's ****ing rouge, I'd be out of that house kicking chick ass all over the place.

(Just kidding, I'd never lay a finger on a woman.)



























(That's what leather belts are for)
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Old 14th September 2004, 11:56 AM   #12
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let's keep it on topic folks

Joking exchanges can be delivered via p.m. This is a serious thread started by someone who would like feedback for her problem, so please keep discussion focused on Kate's situation.
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Old 14th September 2004, 12:06 PM   #13
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hi there new to this but hey yeah get back on kates problem..look hun im going through the same thing at the moment found out last week the loving most best man in the world my rat of a husband has been having an affair for the last 2 months he too came homee gave the crap of i love you we will never be apart and so on...but my gut instinct told me something was up...and a good friend of mine told me always to trust that insticnt...he only spit with her coz i found out he thought it was going all ok i was a little happy wifey at home and he was having his cake and eat it ..how wrong he was i have never felt so damn lonely in all my life he has admittid to loving this women and she loves him..but says he wants to stay with me infact he womt leave me alone he is kinda at his mums at the mo but keeps coming back he says he wants it to be back in the old days but that will never be the same one it was 9 years ago two he well and truly messed that up for me...not sure what is going to happen but i will be strong not only for my 3 ypung children but for me..tonight i start my first kickboxing class so wish me luck...hope things get better for you hunny
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Old 14th September 2004, 1:42 PM   #14
JoL
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You poor girl..

The worst thing about this situation? I think you are going to have a very verrrry hard time trusting men again. He has basically ruined it for any fantastic, loving, caring man you WILL meet eventually.

He is a bastard, clean and simple.

Vandalism and threats will only get you into trouble though...

find another way of expressing your anger at him. Write him an email/letter explaining how much you hate him...tell him how you feel to his face, don't let him think his behaviour is ok by any means! Just please dont get yourself into legal trouble- you will end up looking like the bad guy.
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Old 14th September 2004, 4:25 PM   #15
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tonight i start my first kickboxing class
Very smart move! Kickboxing will keep you sane while you go through this pain. Just make sure to learn how to put the power into your punches and kicks. It feels so good.
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