[jellybelly]

Hi all

This is my first post on here. I've only just joined. I also need some advice.
I have been with my b/f for 4 years now. He keeps asking me to marry him, but I'm so afraid. We are engaged, and have a beautiful daughter. But I'm so scared of marriage. I was married before for 7 years, but it all crumbled and ended in 2000. I still care for my ex hubby, but I know we will never be together again. I could'nt go back to that life again. so why am I so scared to commit? He is a loving person, totally devoted to me and our daughter. Though he does have a temper and has hit me a couple of times. Although I do fight back and he usually ends up coming away worse than me!!

Help me. why do I feel this way? Is it the way he is when he's angry or do i miss my ex who never did anything to hurt me. We just could'nt be together.

HELP!!!

your friend jellybelly

[Maria46]

I am asking you to think about the relationship you are in and then I want you to ask yourself "is this relationship healthy"?

You say he has hit you a couple of times. How many is a couple?? And how many times has he told you that it wouldn't happen again??

No one deserves to be hit even once.

I lived with a man who I said "hit me only a couple of times", which wasn't the whole truth. He hit me a couple dozen times. He swore it wouldn't happen again, but it continued to happen and it kept getting worse. At that time I had no one I could feel comfortable talking about this abuse and I just kept taking it.

He was killed in a car wreck after I had put up with it for close to two years.

Someone must have been looking out for me, as I can honestly tell you that the only reason I am alive today is because he was killed.

I have known several women who have been in these abusive relationships longer than I was. They have spent weeks in hospitals recovering from their injuries. One thing we all had in common was our lack of self esteem.

Women, and men as well, need to realize that no one should put up with this physical violence.

I am hoping that you make a wise decision, not just for you, but for your daughter as well.