My wife had an affair with her boss in which she had sex with him. When she told me about it, I got aroused. I didn't show her my arousal but inside I felt it. It turns me on to think of her having sex with another man. I don't know why this is though. When I masterbate I fantacize about her and another man. But afterwards, a guilty feeling comes over me. Can anyone help me to understand this dark side of myself?
I think it's because the idea of her pleasure and abandon appeals to you. It's a kind of blind, selfish sense of "giving", if that makes sense. I guess you feel guilty because you've been told you're supposed to be pissed and angry at your wife.
Last edited by Papillon; 13th September 2004 at 6:54 AM..
There are lots of different sexual fantasies and fetishes and yours is a common one. There are a lot of swingers and some of them do it because they enjoy the thought/sight of their partners getting it on with someone else.
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Ever notice how the emotion, Love, and the emotion, Hate, tend to make us feel the same way physically? Your heart starts to beat hard and fast, you can feel your blood racing through your veins......I think that people like you and shareher are confusing your anger with arousal.
Just my opinion. I can't see or understand how someone would be ok or even provoke their spouse to have sex with someone else.
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"The conscience water saw it's maker, and blushed" - Water to Wine......
there have been a few times when i was having sex with my bf and i had thoughts of him with other women (for anyone who is aware of my obsessive compulsive thoughts about his past) and where normally these thoughts send me into hysterics and depression, while we were having sex and i thought the same things, i was actually kind of aroused, and that totally weirded me out. I hate the idea of him ever having touched another women so I can't even begin to comprehend it, until I saw this thread, and now it doesn't necessarily make any more sense but it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only weirdo in the world. =) How often that is the conclusion of some many LS topics...we're all weirdos.
I often masturbate to the thought of my wife with other men or of her servicing 2 or more men at the same time.
But if she had an affair behind my back I probably wouldn't be too happy about it.
If she was willing to swap partners or do a threesome with another man or woman I couldn't probably handle that.
Our bond is strong and alittle sexual adventure wouldn't break it.
We have talked about this and have tried to pick up women for a threesome but it never went down.
My wife has a girlfriend that has come on to her and would like to do a threesome but my wife has known her for over 20 years and says it would be too weird.
It would have to be a stranger; but then you have the STD factor to deal with.
Originally posted by loveregardless
while we were having sex and i thought the same things, i was actually kind of aroused..........I hate the idea of him ever having touched another women so I can't even begin to comprehend it, until I saw this thread, and now it doesn't necessarily make any more sense but it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only weirdo in the world. =) How often that is the conclusion of some many LS topics...we're all weirdos.
Ditto.
I would be devastated if I had a bf and he cheated on me, but there have been times that I have been aroused by the idea of my man (when I had a bf) being with someone else. I guess the idea of him being wanted or with someone else but only being mine is what turns me on.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmm
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I've always believed that our minds turn animalistic when we're angry or passionate. My opinion is that human monogamy is a social restriction, and that jealousy and posessiveness are artificial emotions.
When we're in the midst of passion, we revert to that animal state, and throw off most of the shackles of our inihibitions, push aside feelings of jealousy and ownership. When the passion is over, we kind of "come back to our senses", and give a little shiver at what we fantasized about.
This morning I got up enough courage to tell my wife that if she wanted to have sex with another man, that I would let her. She has a lot of stress recently and so I told her she needs a stress relief. When she said she could release her stress by playing with another man, I said why don't you then. She thanked me which makes me think that she actually will. I can hardly wait. I am so glad I could finally tell her. Yippee!
Cleancut, I'll say it straight - I think you're sitting on a time bomb.
You have a"unique" situation here, and you have to be very very very careful that your sexual fantasy does not turn into a miserable hell. You have now given your wife a license to f*ck around with other men, and she IS going to compare. Trust me on this. You didn't say it's ok because you care about her stress, you gave her permission because it excites you. There's a difference.
What if your wife thinks that you don't care about her anymore? What if she decides to leave you because she prefers the fruit of another orchard?
I'm not judging you in the least, I genuinely hope that the two of you find this arrangement stimulating and fulfilling. I just had to caution you a little. Go into this with your eyes open, because if it blows up in your face, it's going to be UGLY.
Good luck! (I have to admit that thinking about your situation is kind of kinky, it's aroused me a little )
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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Reading: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
Exactly. I didn't want to start an argument with Moose, but people are different like snowflakes, and I believe that often marriages are failures simply because people try and force it into the mold that society has made for it.
well the only thing that i am going to say is that it is not "animal instinct" to just have sex with lots of different "animals", it is "animal instinct" to have sex at "mating season" so that you can make more "animals". thats all.
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