[gd1039]

I was supposed to go out with this girl from one of my classes this weekend. Well, I got a voicemail from her saying she just found out her grandma died and has to go home for the funeral this weekend. The catch...she says "but I will make it up to you". In most cases I would figure this is rejection at this point, but I'm not so sure about this one. Sure, its possible that its true, but I am still skeptical. I haven't gotten any 100% positive signs she is interested in me, but I know for sure she doesn't despise me. The thing that got me was the "I'll make it up to you" part. Maybe she is trying to sugar coat it, but why bother.

So, I got to wait until next week to see if this is going to go anywhere, or if I did infact get one of the worst possible excuses for a rejection ever. I mean, saying something like that is what you use to get out of a writing a paper or an exam you forgot about, not a date....

Then this morning I run into this girl that I was talking to for about a month over the summer. She was going out of town to visit her cousin, and I never heard from her again... So I was about to say hi as I walked by, but she either didn't see me or pretended she didn't.

And, this just hit me now... My last and possibly the most recent rejections were both "out of town" excuses. What gives?

No, I am not hung up on this too much. It bothers me a little, but I can't think about it too much until I know if it is true or not. Even if it is another rejection I'm not going to be heartbroke, but still it sucks...

[uriel]

Um -- did the girls who rejected you before this actually accept a date with you and then saying they were going out of town? That's what happened here, so I wouldn't even count this as rejection. Her grandmother died! She's even indicated she'll make it up to you. Chill out.

If the other girls used going out of town as an excuse to avoid making a date, then yes -- you did get the brush off. I don't think this is the same thing at all.

Why not try to do something to help her feel better, rather than pouting about a missed date? She's just lost someone she loves. How about a sweet spring bouquet (nothing big or expensive) with a sympathy note?

-- uriel

[gd1039]

uriel - Thanks for the advice. Actually, after I got her message I called her back and the first thing I did was say I was sorry to hear about her grandmother. I'm not doubting it was someone she loved, but her message and when I talked on the phone, she didn't sound like it bothered her at all. This is partly what made me wonder. Regardless, something small like the flowers is a great idea, but how would you suggest I get/give them to her (I wouldn't be able to see her until after she gets back and I also don't know exactly where she lives). Is it still ok to give flowers after the funeral?

The original girl and I had gone out once, talked a few times on the phone, and then set up another date which she called me the day before to say her cousin had stopped in from out of town and she was going to visit some family with her (her cousin was going into the army in a few days) I tried calling a few days after she was supposed to be back, even left a message, but I never heard back from her.

Sorry if I came off as sounding like I only cared about myself, which I don't. I do feel sorry for her and what happened, but at the same time I have gotten the cold shoulder alot (especially recently) so I am trying to watch out for myself too. In my head I try to balance feeling sorry for her but also not letting myself like a girl who doesn't like me . It sucks when you think everything is going good and then find out you got some excuse and ignored after that (like the previous girl).

[uriel]

Well, foo on that other girl. How rude. I think you just need to keep testing and give this time. Don't assume all girls are going to give that kind of excuse. It's a little out there. And especially a dead grandmother! She'd have to be pretty messed up to use something like that.

Wait and see. If she calls you, ask for her for another date and get her address. Then send flowers right off, even if the date's a few days distant.

-- uriel