Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
I've been with my girlfriend for about three months now, and each day that has passed has made me realize just how special she is to me.
However, there are problems, mostly of my own insecurity, that seem to hang over the relationship. I know this girl is faithful, loyal and very deserving of the same kind of treatment, and I would never even attempt to cheat on her. It's just that I worry constantly that she'll meet someone at school who'll sweep her off her feet and make her think twice about being with me. I know this sounds dumb and I wish I didn't feel this way, but it is what it is. So it's like I'm constantly trying
new things to show her that I am deserving of her, even though it's obvious she liked me from the first time we met.
I think the biggest problem I have is her longtime, childhood friendship with another male. She swears up and down that she would never look at him in a romantic type of way and that the very thought of the two of them even sharing a kiss is disturbing to her, and deep down I do believe her, but why is it that I get so angry inside whenever she mentions him ( and it's not all the time) or when he calls her cell phone ( which isn't on a regular basis either)?
One conclusion I have made, is I may feel resentment because her parents would never accept me for the person I am, and would be more than willing to pair she and her childhood friend together. They love him like he's their own and yet, any other guy she dates automatically has bad intentions for their daughter.
It's a horrible feeling and sometimes when you think your going to keep your mouth shut you can't help but dump all your insecurities on her by asking all the time.
Try real hard not to say it. when it's on the tip of your tongue and your being eaten alive with jelousy , DON'T DO IT. think of something , anything, erm.....'jealousy is green and i'm not' i know that sounds stupid but if you say it to yourself in your head (or make your own up!) you might just get out of the habit and enjoy her instead.
However, there are problems, mostly of my own insecurity, that seem to hang over the relationship. I know this girl is faithful, loyal and very deserving of the same kind of treatment, and I would never even attempt to cheat on her. It's just that I worry constantly that she'll meet someone at school who'll sweep her off her feet and make her think twice about being with me. I know this sounds dumb and I wish I didn't feel this way, but it is what it is. So it's like I'm constantly trying
new things to show her that I am deserving of her, even though it's obvious she liked me from the first time we met.
Have you been reading my posts? Cuz you sound just like mw! lol
But seriously I just realized that. You CANNOT let jealousy ruin the relationship. She is with you and had been for three months. She has known this guy for how long....? and still was never with him so what are you worrying about.
Are you with her family or are you with her? Exactly, shes the one that matters. Her acceptance is the one that matters. She wants you and you want her and her parents have to respect her decision and deal with it.
But seriously, do not let jealousy consume you. It can drive you crazy to the point where your lost in your imagination and what could happen and what she could be feeling and its an unecessary torture. It can put problems where there aren't any and drive her away.
She's with you enjoy it!!
__________________
The male brain is more compartmentalized than the female brain. Men can seperate things whereas women have a harder time cause their brains are all wired together in some inter-connected mish-mosh.
i think you should be honest with her. do not hide things inside because it will haunt you. i also think you should consider becoming friends with her childhood freind.
I was just in a relationship that sounds a lot like yours. My ex-boyfriend was very jealous and that is the whole reason why I broke things off with him. He drove me completely away by the way he acted. He always told me how much he appreciated me, but at the same time did not trust me or thought I was going to find someone else when i moved back up to school. I never gave him a reason to not trust me because I was totally faithful to him. I always paid attention to him and was very caring.
Like your situation, he was extremely jealous of my best guy friend. He would get really mad at me everytime he would call or i would call him. I have never been with my best friend either and probably never will. Like she said they are just friends. She is with you now and that is all that matters. Don't ruin something good by being jealous. Jealousity will get you nowhere.
I was with this guy for around 6 months and by the end of the 4th month I could not take him anymore. His jealousy was exactly what drove me right away. If he wouldn't have acted like that, we would maybe still be together. I'm just telling you from her view she will get sick of it. A person can only handle so much. I'm not trying to scare you at all because I am sure that this woman loves you, but don't let jealousy come between something that is good. Quite being insecure because if it is meant to be, you two will end up together.
Oh and one more thing, her parents love you. My ex felt the same way that noone in my famliy liked him, and they did. So hang in there and try to overcome your jealousy and insecurity because in the end it will bite you in the ass!! Enjoy what you have!! the more confident you are the more she will want!!!!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
